[bizi]

Over the past year I have lost my ability to control my excesses.
I have gained 20 pounds by over indulging in food and alcohol.
We have spent a lot of money on food, buying organics and grass fed beef and eating out way too much.
My husband and I both work full time and it is easier going out to eat.
We don't have any children but spend too much money on food costs.
We have never had a budget before and I think we would be shocked at how much money we spend on food and liquor. He drinks as well but not like I do.
I have started sneaking drinking....stopping buy whole foods bar and having a beer with out hubby knowing about it. This is risk taking behavior. If I got caught drinking and driving I would lose my license, I am a home care nurse.
I have gotten lazy.
I don't clean my house any more neither does hubby. I used to but resent it that he did not help. so now I don't clean it either. Same thing with our yard....
Another area of concern is my internet usage.
I spend hours on line checking from forums to facebook to yahoo back to forums etc. I am like addicted to the internet, always looking for responses etc.
I don't have racing thoughts nor pressured speech. My meds have been the same this year last year we tried changing things up and that was a disaster.
I am not a shopper nor gambler.
Am sleeping.
I am married but I don't have a sex life.
I am keeping up with my paper work, am self employed.
Have not been sick, working on the weekends when I need to.
I don't have a therapist...I know that I need therapy but will wait until we have better insurance come this january.
I think that I am undermedicated but am afraid to change my meds.
any input thoughts advice , I would appreciate your feed back.
thanks
bizi

[Coffeee]

Because you are sleeping I would say hypomania. I'm sorry to hear you are doing risky things. I hope you get better soon and get the right meds for You!

When I'm manic, I tend to buy little things here and there, all of which add up. I usually don't make large purchases at once. So what you're doing with food kinda sounds like me.

And yes, I agree that drinking and driving is risky behavior.

But what else is going on? Are you more productive at work? Hypersexualty despite having no sex life? What about energy. It's kind of tough to tell since you're sleeping, but of course, sleep is only one of the 7 criteria for mania and you only need to meet 3 of the 7 criteria

I normally spend a lot of time on the internet, manic or not. So the Internet thing kind of depends on you individually.

I'll spend more time on the internet when manic, but that's usually because I can't sleep due to excessive energy. So, I basically use the internet to kill time. I do develop obsessions on the internet when manic, though. Like, I'll watch a YouTube video of someone snowmobiling (for example), and then I become obsessed with it to the point I start investing in snowmobiling gear and start looking at buying a snowmobile.

If anything, I'd agree you're hypo. No hallucinations, right?

[LucyG]

Can you pinpoint any reason other than being manic that you might have lost your ability to control your excesses? Are you under more stress than previously, or maybe worried about something?

Have you always drank a lot? Are you drinking to self-medicate maybe? I read years ago that people with mood disorder [particularly bipolar] use alcohol and drugs to self-medicate, and that if a person has a drinking problem, chances are they have a mood disorder. How true this is I can't say. Just something to ask yourself if the alcohol is supplementing your meds to keep your mood stable.

I'm online a good part of the day unless I have something else going on. My excuse is that I need intellectual stimulation and the internet is my own personal library. I watch a lot of stuff on youtube, check this forum and Facebook and various other sites. I wish I could get off it, but I'm not working due to health issues so I other than housework and cooking, I don't have a lot of other stuff going on, and this keeps me entertained. It's a problem but I don't know what to do about...it's the new normal.

Since you both work, why don't you hire a housekeeping service to come in and clean once a week. If they clean the bathrooms, vacuum, dust and do anything else that needs your problem will be solved. Same with the yard--hire a yard maintenance company to maintain it. My neighbor did that one summer as they aren't good about keeping their place up. You might as well spend the money to make your life better, and a clean house and yard will lessen your stress and guilt.

Set yourself up a budget. I'm an accountant so we live on a budget, and it's very helpful. I use Excel and list my known expenses, and then lump oddball stuff under miscellaneous. I have a budget column, an actual column and then the difference in the next column is the variance so I can compare how closely I stuck to my budget. I adjust it as need be. The thing that I find helpful is I can look at it mid-month and see what bills haven't been paid, and where I stand financially--my husband gets paid once a month. You could easily go through your bank statement and categorize your debit or credit charges to give yourself an idea of what you're spending on various categories like dining out and alcohol.

With your meds, if you don't think they're doing the job, admit it to yourself and decide what direction you want to take. With alternative treatment why not go talk to a naturopath about their success rate? My naturopath told me he became one as both his parents were Pdocs who shared a building with a naturopath they got to know, and wanted him to meet this person as his mother said 'his patients get well!!' That's the thing you need to understand about using orothomolecular medicine is that by giving the body what it needs to function, you start to feel normal as in happy without being crazy wound up out of control or in the pit of despair.

Check out this web site and the links about orothomolecular medicine.

Welcome To Orthomolecular.org

Do you need a therapist? The reason I ask is because I think it's a misconception to assume that just because we have this illness we automatically need to go talk to someone every week or month to guide us. When I was diagnosed I was very leery about going into therapy as it was back when recovered memories of sexual abuse was the thing, and I knew I hadn't been molested and didn't want my Pdoc trying to convince me I had been. I did see a different therapist about a few things, and found it helpful, but it didn't have to do with having bipolar per se. And I would see him when I had something I wanted to talk to him about, not every week like clockwork.

My sister who has depression got so attached to her therapist that the woman convinced her to cut off all contact with her parents. She contacts my mother if she needs something, but that's it.

The therapist needs clients, and the way to keep them is to make them emotionally dependent on the therapist so they come in every week. If a person needs to counsel about a specific thing, that's one thing, but I see people going into counseling and going every week for 20 years, and they're less secure and more unhappy at the end of it than when they began.

[LucyG]

Another safe easy thing you can do if you're manic is to get some orange glasses that block blue light to help calm your brain down. By blocking blue light, the brain thinks you're in total darkness which calms you down, and will help break a manic episode. I bought a pair of these when I went off meds, and wear them whenever I can't sleep or am wound up.

Here's an article about the effect of light on the brain in bipolar. Further down the page is info about the glasses.

Bipolar Disorder, Light, and Darkness | PsychEducation

[bizi]

I think that the increased drinking is what is really effecting me.....

I am not hypersexual, more like asexual, but this is not new.

I have not read the new DSM manual so don't know the new requirements for mania. It used to be that if you had hypomania for more than a week then that was considered mania.
Is that still the same?
Does anyone know?

We use our credit cards for everything and pay them off automatically though bill pay each month to get the 1.5% cash back.
So it is easy to see where our monies go.
WE do save every month and contribute to retirement plans. We will have our house paid off in 7 years, we had rolled our student loans into the mortgage when we refinanced the house, our cars will be paid off in 3 years. so we will be debt free by 2023.

We will pay $350 more a month ($200 now with a $4K deductible, will be $550 with $800 deductible) for better insurance come january.
Higher premiums with lower deductibles and co pays.
I need to go into therapy for my issues and I need to finally go to an ortho for my neck problems that come and go on a more frequent basis. Am afraid to go to a chiro.
thank you for your feed back.
bizi
edited to add that I just ordered lithium orotate, it should be here in 1-2 weeks.
bizi

[Fuzzybear]

I don't know.. I hate meds, I can't take them (that's my problem)

I'm happy for you that you can tolerate meds and are vigilant regarding symptoms etc..

Bizi, I used to drink more than I should for various reasons. I definately used it to self medicate. When I stopped a few years ago, things got better in some ways and worse in others. I think drinking contributed greatly to my hypomanic symptoms. I didn't drink a ton, but enough to effect my mood.

Please be sure to tell your doctor about taking the over the counter lithium. I don't know enough about it to determine it's safety but I remember being warned not to take it by someone (a doctor, friend, person on the internet...not sure) since lithium can be toxic in different amounts for different people and since blood levels need to be monitored when taking the prescribed version, just be safe and let them know you're trying it.

I can't say if you are manic or not. It does seem your symptoms are bothering you and that is reason enough to be concerned and discuss it with a doctor.

Food is very expensive and eating healthy can really drain a bank account. Especially when buying convenient versions of healthy foods. Overall it sounds like you make good financial decisions and are in a healthy place where money is concerned. Feel proud of that as it's more than many of us can claim.

Keep us posted on how you are doing and how the lithium orate works.

Any input from your husband (or anyone else close), bizi?
My BF tends to pick up on it earlier than I do.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Any input from your husband (or anyone else close), bizi?
My BF tends to pick up on it earlier than I do.

I wish my hubby were ore in tune but alas he is not.
I rely upon my friends and here to help make sense of it all.
thanks,
bizi

[franz kafka]

Mania has to last one week, but hypomania can last a week or more too. I've had hypomania for months at a time in the past.

[bizi]

my friend told me that the lithium increases the blood alcohol content...so does that mean I will be drunk quicker? I don't drink to get drunk just to get a bit altered.
bizi

[gina_re]

It doesn't sound manic to me, maybe the increase in the alcohol intake is affecting you. But getting into therapy sounds like a good idea to pin point to see what's really going on.

[Rabbity9]

Originally Posted by LucyG

The therapist needs clients, and the way to keep them is to make them emotionally dependent on the therapist so they come in every week. If a person needs to counsel about a specific thing, that's one thing, but I see people going into counseling and going every week for 20 years, and they're less secure and more unhappy at the end of it than when they began.

This is WILDLY unethical. Can you anonymously report your sister's therapist to whatever board she is licensed through? Encouraging emotional dependency is explicitly against mental health ethics codes and is the kind of thing that a person can lose their credentials for. Of course, it's difficult to prove, but multiple complaints might be taken seriously.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by franz kafka

Mania has to last one week, but hypomania can last a week or more too. I've had hypomania for months at a time in the past.

I guess I thought that anything over a week of hypomania was considered mania.
I guess I did not think you could be hypo manic for months. what did you r pdoc say?
bizi

[MusicLover82]

Sounds more like addictive behavior rather than mania or hypomania, just my two cents' worth. I hope you can find what you need to create healthier habits. I was addicted to Facebook, so I'm giving it up for a month or so. Heck, I may give it up permanently.

[bizi]

I think you are right. I am reading a book about the addictive personality.
It is very insightful.
Thanks for saying this.
bizi

[bizi]

The lithium orotate has shipped already so
it will be here sooner than I thought!
bizi

[LucyG]

Originally Posted by Rabbity9

This is WILDLY unethical. Can you anonymously report your sister's therapist to whatever board she is licensed through? Encouraging emotional dependency is explicitly against mental health ethics codes and is the kind of thing that a person can lose their credentials for. Of course, it's difficult to prove, but multiple complaints might be taken seriously.

That was years ago, and I think it's what my sister wanted. Plus, she lives on the other side of the country.

I don't think what happened to her is at all uncommon.

[LucyG]

Originally Posted by bizi

I guess I thought that anything over a week of hypomania was considered mania.
I guess I did not think you could be hypo manic for months. what did you r pdoc say?
bizi

Based on my understanding of bipolar, hypomania is a lower form of mania where you're revved up feeling great with racing thoughts and the like, but it's not the full blown sell everything and book passage on a cruise around the world for everyone you know type craziness. I believe full blown mania can include psychosis where you're hearing and seeing things that aren't there. I don't think you can be bumped from one to another, at least I never came across anything like that, and I did a great did of reading on the subject years ago after being diagnosed.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Do you by any chance have BPD? I have both and a lot of times it's hard to tell which one is acting up. The excessive spending or drinking can come up when one or the other or both are the culprit. I would talk to pdoc and T

[bizi]

hi queen,
I don't think I have BPD. No one has ever suggested that before....
What makes it sound like that to you?
bizi

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by bizi

hi queen,
I don't think I have BPD. No one has ever suggested that before....
What makes it sound like that to you?
bizi

Because the symptoms mimic each other and maybe your meds aren't working because it's BPD, not BP. Or both. I still have moments when my BPD comes into play and I get hyper sexual and spend a lot of money and act on impulse.

[bizi]

I am not hypersexual, asexual mostly.
WE have been eating out alot....have not been spending money shopping etc.
thanks for your thoughts...
bizi