[annielovesbacon]

Lately I have really been struggling to figure out my sexuality. It's been a huge source of stress for me. I'm just so confused and a large part of that is because I am not well in touch with my feelings and most of the time don't know how I feel.
I was wondering, maybe is this because of being BP? That I'm so unsure? Has anyone else experienced this?

[MusicLover82]

I do, and for me, it's because of my OCD. Have you ever exhibited any compulsive behavior or have you had obsessions and/or thoughts that make you very anxious? HOCD is a type of OCD where you struggle with your sexuality. Maybe look it up and see if you fit the description?

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more in depth about it. I totally understand it can be very stressful to deal with this. ((HUGS))

If it's any help, my therapist has said to me "What does it matter if you're attracted to someone? Is it going to change your behavior?" My answer was no, because I'm happily married. So it doesn't matter who I crush on (or I get confused and think I'm crushing on them) here and there. I have plenty more advice to give on the matter, so feel free to PM me.

No, I don't struggle with my sexuality, so I don't know how to answer your question, but--

Have you tried experimenting? A lot of people experiment because they're unsure of their sexuality. Nothing wrong with experimentation.

I've never experimented before, as I've more or less always "known" I was straight, but there's nothing wrong with not knowing. Not everyone knows. Part of life is about figuring out who you are. And if you do experiment, you'll probably figure out very quickly what feels "right" and what doesn't.

In my youth, I attended church three times a week. Went through a period of time where I actually tried very hard not to think of any "unpure" thoughts. So I just didn't talk about it with my mother or girlfriends.
So for me, talking about my sexuality with my therapist has really put me in touch with my core "needs". And it helps that I am in my 50s, I can look back on a lot of experiences. So by thinking about those past experiences and being more in touch with my current feelings, I know what I need and want. I think of it as one of the few advantages of being older.
So if you are still single, I agree with Bluebicycle that it is OK to experiment (safely). And it's good to talk about it with someone. As far as BP traits go, BP probably doesn't change your core sexuality but instead just makes it more likely that you go out and get what you want.

I've always been straight.

actually, anything else (or anyone who wasn't straight), used to freak me out- and I had a hard time dealing with that.. i'm straight, why can't everyone be

but i've learnt to accept we're all diffrent when it comes to sexuality, and I know at 1 point I did have some gay friends

[Miss Laura]

I'm still questioning my sexuality. I haven't figured out if I'm gay or bi or asexual.... I'm thinking the latter more and more now. I like both men and women I'm drawn very much to them both and I have some gorgeous friends who are men and women. I'm Catholic so my faith plays a part on it as I don't think my parents would understand or allow or accept

[Crook32]

In college I struggle with my sexuality. It was when I had my first bout of depression. It was very hard to accept myself because I was always worried about what others would think, especially my parents. But there came a time when I had to decide to either live for others and be in that dark depression or live for myself. I am glad I chose to be true to myself. Now I have an amazing wife of 16 years and two awesome kids. I still struggle with mental illness and just now had my diagnosis changed to bipolar. But I have a wonderful family to support me along this journey.

[Unrigged64072835]

I'm straight though I do have thoughts and fantasies that go elsewhere. It wouldn't hurt just to try things and see where they lead. Sexuality is on a spectrum so nothing is completely black-and-white.

[Coffeee]

I have struggled with my sexuality before. Feel free to PM me. I also feel experimentation is a good idea.

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

Lately I have really been struggling to figure out my sexuality. It's been a huge source of stress for me. I'm just so confused and a large part of that is because I am not well in touch with my feelings and most of the time don't know how I feel.
I was wondering, maybe is this because of being BP? That I'm so unsure? Has anyone else experienced this?

I've always been totally straight. So I can't relate to that specifically -- my endless confusion and indecision run rampant in other areas.

Where you recognize that in large part it's stemming from your not being in touch with your feelings, it would be worthwhile to work on that in therapy. It's hard to sort through feelings if you don't know what you're feeling(!) It won't magically produce an answer of course, but it would give you a better base for sorting through it.

There's no big rush. No need to pressure yourself. All in good time. It will be alright.

[annielovesbacon]

Thanks everyone. To those who are suggesting I experiment -- do you have any ideas as to how? Is there an app maybe? I am not yet 21 so I can't go to bars and try to meet people there. The idea of a "one night stand" kind of freaks me out. But I agree that experimenting seems like a good way to get a better idea of what I want!

[Coffeee]

Use the app grindr I think? Like tinder?

[Cdnstargazer]

I'm LGBT

[Cdnstargazer]

I came out as bi initially. Then settled on gay for a long time. I still consider myself gay, even though very rarely a guy will catch my eye or I'll feel a connection with him. But I'm with my female partner of a few years. Women are very beautiful.

I am straight/bi. I say that because I don't know if I could have a longterm relationship with a women.

I have only had sex with men, but when manic, I am more attracted to both men and women. Hypersexuality?

So it isn't really a struggle, but it changes with my mood.

Have you read about the Kinsey scale? It's the research findings of a doctor in the 40's and it explains how sexuality isn't always as simple as gay, straight or bi. People fall into some area on a scale. It's all pretty interesting.

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Have you read about the Kinsey scale? It's the research findings of a doctor in the 40's and it explains how sexuality isn't always as simple as gay, straight or bi. People fall into some area on a scale. It's all pretty interesting.

I totally agree. And the scale can "tip and move" throughout your life.

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

Thanks everyone. To those who are suggesting I experiment -- do you have any ideas as to how? Is there an app maybe? I am not yet 21 so I can't go to bars and try to meet people there. The idea of a "one night stand" kind of freaks me out. But I agree that experimenting seems like a good way to get a better idea of what I want!

Not sure about the app thing, personally dislike bars. Do you go to school? Met my male and female friends in my classes or my dorm in high school and college. Though I would meet people at parties at my friends apartments or my dormitory. I met one college boyfriend by the way of him being the best friend of my girlfriend's boyfriend (a double date set up by my friend). After that (in my 20s), met my friends through my job. Do you have a car? I guess I never was shy because when I met and enjoyed speaking with some of my girlfriends, (some lived off campus), I would drive to their homes and apartments and visit. I was so close to one girlfriend, that during my last two years in college, I usually stayed at her house (she lived with her mother) on Saturday nights. I think of these as being the sort of situations that lead to meeting someone special.

[annielovesbacon]

Originally Posted by Mysterious153

Not sure about the app thing, personally dislike bars. Do you go to school? Met my male and female friends in my classes or my dorm in high school and college. Though I would meet people at parties at my friends apartments or my dormitory. I met one college boyfriend by the way of him being the best friend of my girlfriend's boyfriend (a double date set up by my friend). After that (in my 20s), met my friends through my job. Do you have a car? I guess I never was shy because when I met and enjoyed speaking with some of my girlfriends, (some lived off campus), I would drive to their homes and apartments and visit. I was so close to one girlfriend, that during my last two years in college, I usually stayed at her house (she lived with her mother) on Saturday nights. I think of these as being the sort of situations that lead to meeting someone special.

I am in school and that's how I've met some boyfriends I've had, and that's also how I figured out I'm not really attracted to men. Lol. I'm just afraid to be "out" at school, not because I'm afraid for my safety (my friends are very accepting) but because I'm afraid I'll be "wrong" like maybe I'm not really LGBT. Idk if that makes sense haha.

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

I am in school and that's how I've met some boyfriends I've had, and that's also how I figured out I'm not really attracted to men. Lol. I'm just afraid to be "out" at school, not because I'm afraid for my safety (my friends are very accepting) but because I'm afraid I'll be "wrong" like maybe I'm not really LGBT. Idk if that makes sense haha.

And that is where the spectrum or scale comes in. You can identify as whatever you want. That is why I say I am bi, even though I haven't slept with a woman. I just want to show solidarity for those in the LGBT community.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Have you read about the Kinsey scale? It's the research findings of a doctor in the 40's and it explains how sexuality isn't always as simple as gay, straight or bi. People fall into some area on a scale. It's all pretty interesting.

I just took it online, and it said I don't fit into the categories because either my "answers are wrong, or I'm a very unusual person." I didn't think I was that unusual, but that's okay. Hmm....

[Camelot67]

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

Lately I have really been struggling to figure out my sexuality. It's been a huge source of stress for me. I'm just so confused and a large part of that is because I am not well in touch with my feelings and most of the time don't know how I feel.
I was wondering, maybe is this because of being BP? That I'm so unsure? Has anyone else experienced this?

I struggled with my sexuality for years. I came from an abusive family where I feared the men in my life. I tried to hide my sexuality from myself and the world. Everyone therapist and friends and family assumed I was gay and that I need to deal with that. Only recently have I become comfortable with being attracted to men. Don't let anyone push you into making a decision your not ready to make. Experimenting may be beneficial or maybe opening up to a therapist will reveal what is going on in your head and make it clear where you land on your sexuality. Good luck!

[RomanJames2014]

Ive always been gay but when I am hypersexual, I will make out with girls in a club to turn the guys on and stuff. I have had feelings for girls at times but they are literally straight phases.

I went through a bisexual phase but only with one woman. Only one night, lol. But I thought I might be bi. But I'm straight. But I love women!

[bizi]

I took the test and it said I was non sexual.
That is what I thought.
bizi