[Fuzzybear]

"Freak" because I wasn't worthy of the mothers love.. She said she loved me but the actions didn't add up to love. Forced out of the "home" on her schedule because she was "sick" of me and I was an "emotional drain"

A neighbour bought me a big rag doll for a certain birthday.. This was before I had "blotted my copy book" and forced to leave..

It's amazing I'm still here, somehow I survived living in various crappy shared flats or with various men who only wanted one thing... (And one of those didn't hesitate to tell me how I only was useful for hugs...geeze thanks asshole for that "insight" )

Then eventually I met Papa bear.

I only wanted to be "normal" but this wasn't possible...

It's still not possible (whatever "normal" means)

I feel like deleting this, I don't want to contaminate this forum with my "stuff"

(Whiny *** bear...)

I'm so you weee treated so badly. You sound like a very sweet person and you deserved so much more....so much better. Not just from your mom but from everybody. Your mom missed out....you are special. (((Hugs)))

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks ((((( hugs )))))) this is probably in the wrong forum, I've been wrongly dxd with a few things, not bipolar... So maybe that is exactly what I do have ... I don't trust the doctors in this jungle, they are full of ****

Btw the mothers neighbour (a different neighbour) a daughter (a few years older, I think we would have had a lot in common if I hadn't been scapegoated as the demon child and evicted)...who was dxd with bipolar, she was "worthy" as she had that dx... But my panic attacks etc since childhood were just dismissed. They were and are debilitating... Also my mood swings (and su. Ideation )

I hope none of those are "following" my posts but I no longer care, they can think what they like (their opinions are none of my business..)

[Unrigged64072835]

(((((Fuzzybear)))))

Sorry to hear that you've gone through so much. I've been through a lot as well.

You're a good bear, no matter what anybody else tells you.

[Hobbit House]

I know how you feel. I too had a unloving mother and and was removed from her care at a young age. This was back in the 1960s so you can imagine what she was doing to me. I was placed in a Catholic orphanage where I was physically,emotionally and sexually abused. All I can say is you can get through it. One day, one hour, one minute, one breath at a time.
Feeling your pain

Originally Posted by Hobbit House

I know how you feel. I too had a unloving mother and and was removed from her care at a young age. This was back in the 1960s so you can imagine what she was doing to me. I was placed in a Catholic orphanage where I was physically,emotionally and sexually abused. All I can say is you can get through it. One day, one hour, one minute, one breath at a time.
Feeling your pain

What a nightmare....I'm so, so sorry for what you've been put through at the hands of people who should have protected you.

[newtobipolar]

You are posting in the right forum here, don't you worry!! We are all in this horrible Bipolar boat together, and we are all here for each other.

Are you seeing a therapist? The reason I ask is because I had major parent issues at a young age, and it really, really helped to get it out, and talk to someone.

You don't need to keep bearing this burden. It wasn't your fault, yet you are still affected. Not fair!!!!

(((((big hugs)))))

If you would like to chat privately, I am a good listener! I don't know how this private message thing works on here, but I am sure I can figure it out.

Just know that you aren't alone, and you aren't being whiny