[ComfortablyNumb5]

Here we go again. I can't get motivated. I don't want to leave my bed. My house is trashed. This is usually my story from Nov (when my mom died) to spring. It has gotten very bad in the past. Last year I didn't leave my room for months and family had to intervene and help me clean my house. It was so embarrassing. I look like crap. I rarely care to shower because duh that involves physical movements and when I'm like this, I just want to lay there, perfectly still, eyes closed. I'll do this all day everyday.

And I can't take ADs. They all have side effects from mania to sexual and lets be honest, I rather be depressed than unable to be intimate lol. I tried APs for depression like seroquel to latuda and it doesn't help. I'm a lost cause. Maybe if I increase my geodon? I'll talk to pdoc in about two weeks. Hoping I can hold on till then.

[Pikku Myy]

Aweeeee... mine starts after the time change. It messes up my routine totally. I am such an outside, plant person and love daylight. Super hugs... maybe add an activity and an hobby? Just suggestions.

I'd gladly give up sex to relieve depression but I feel ya on the AD issue. I'm sorry there are none you can tollerate, that must be very difficult. It sounds like you are really going through it and I hope you feel better soon.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I could do things if I felt up to it. I mean like I have a lot to be done. I just can't get up to it. Everything turns mediocre to me and I lose interest. I'm known to start projects and dump them because I run into an episode where I can't get motivated. I'll try and ride this out. I'm not thinking of harming or anything so at least that's good. I feel like a ball of anxiety and exhaustion and one feeds the other. God why can't I just be friggin normal?!

You are wonderful as you are and Normal is overrated....but I know how you feel and what you mean. Are you sleeping?

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

You are wonderful as you are and Normal is overrated....but I know how you feel and what you mean. Are you sleeping?

Yes I am sleeping with an increase in seroquel. I have bad days where I get the hangover zombie feeling but it's better than losing my mind from staring at the ceiling all night.

True. I was hoping a good sleep could have you feeling better. You're not a lost cause and please try to believe that!

[LucyG]

It sounds to me like you have seasonal affective disorder [SAD]. There's an extremely simple, safe treatment for it with zero side-effects--full spectrum lightbulbs in all your lights. And then keep the lights on all day and you'll be amazed at how much better you feel. We switched all our lightbulbs to full spectrum, and keep a lot of lights on for our dog who has retinal degeneration and can't see in the dark. It dawned me the other day that the light has really helped my mood this fall.

Low melatonin is also associated with SAD so you might try that. Start with a low dose, and go from there.

Another thing that's really helped me this year [I always end up depressed by mid-September as I live so far north] is taking nascent iodine. I just started taking this earlier this year, and between it and the lights, I haven't been at all depressed this fall which is amazing.

Here's a video on iodine: