[raspberrytorte]

I'm so depressed. I feel disgusted with myself. I want to puke.

This election outcome was a huge trigger. I was actually doing alright before it.

Are you depressed?

[jpb4815]

I am depressed in our country, not because one particular individual won, but because during the primaries it became so apparent that the system was broken. I hope that we can learn from this lesson and start to field better candidates. I have grown tired of voting for one of two lesser evils.

Apart from that I am great, I just have had some HUGE life changes hurled at me and my coping skills are helping me to deal with them like nobody's business. It really makes me feel that the work that I have done over the last year has paid off. I am starting to regain hope that I can someday cope with my disease in a natural healthy fashion, and not just have to rely on medications that make me feel terrible.

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

I'm so depressed. I feel disgusted with myself. I want to puke.

This election outcome was a huge trigger. I was actually doing alright before it.

Are you depressed?

I am. I don't really remember how I was doing before. It seemed pretty good, but I did need a med adjustment to come up (which I totally agreed with, so that's contradictory evidence, isn't it?) I REALLY need to start charting, or something again. I am so confused. Regardless, the election did not help my state of mind(!)

I think I am compartmentalizing. Or something. There's a numbness. I've gone more internal, and that's never a good thing. Left inside there, it's a bad rumination loop. But life's been no cupcake. I'm being massively let down by some people IRL, and feeling really betrayed. Talking good and supportive, yet leaving me flapping in the wind. It's like watching myself crash and burn in slow motion. Soooo, there's plenty piling on. So freaking much stress. It kind of feels like the election is just one more layer. So the compartmentalizing and numbness are just kind of survival mode, you know? I HATE feeling helpless, so I have to block it out on some level.

So I am trying to stay busy. Stay out of my head. Outside of myself. So here I am(!) And watching half a season of an hour-long show back to back last night. It's pretty messed up, but it is easier to be inside someone else's headspace, the character, even so.

Sorry, blathering on.
The answer is "yes".

[1278]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

I am. I don't really remember how I was doing before. It seemed pretty good, but I did need a med adjustment to come up (which I totally agreed with, so that's contradictory evidence, isn't it?) I REALLY need to start charting, or something again. I am so confused. Regardless, the election did not help my state of mind(!)

I think I am compartmentalizing. Or something. There's a numbness. I've gone more internal, and that's never a good thing. Left inside there, it's a bad rumination loop. But life's been no cupcake. I'm being massively let down by some people IRL, and feeling really betrayed. Talking good and supportive, yet leaving me flapping in the wind. It's like watching myself crash and burn in slow motion. Soooo, there's plenty piling on. So freaking much stress. It kind of feels like the election is just one more layer. So the compartmentalizing and numbness are just kind of survival mode, you know? I HATE feeling helpless, so I have to block it out on some level.

So I am trying to stay busy. Stay out of my head. Outside of myself. So here I am(!) And watching half a season of an hour-long show back to back last night. It's pretty messed up, but it is easier to be inside someone else's headspace, the character, even so.

Sorry, blathering on.
The answer is "yes".

This was me for literally six months straight, I wanted to bang my head against a wall and throw up too. I also have no support as well, people are all talk and no action. The problem for me is after I had a manic episode I feel myself slipping into depression once more, and I don't know if I can get through it again and come out alive.

I might be headed that way but maybe not. I got decent sleep last night and only woke up with my stomach twice and was able to go right back to sleep. I clocked in about several hours last night. Doctors say I'm mixed and that feels right though who knows. I have a right to be upset after the election...I deserve my moment to grieve....but I don't think I've hit the hellish pit of depression just yet. I still have pulsating energy and drive to right some wrongs so I'd say I'm still in manic territory.

I'm sorry you are depressed....I was sure when I went to bed last night that I'd end up there. But nope....I've been saved for at least another day and hopefully longer. I hope this passes quickly for you Raspberry. (((Hugs)))

[still_crazy]

Not depressed. Not manic. Just dealing with life.

Trump's victory shocked me, once I processed it. I mean, shocked me in a way that I've never experienced. The sky looked darker. The air felt colder. Life in These United States, 2016; we've elected a billionaire corporate welfare recipient to the Presidency. His vice President holds a Bible and governs according to Ayn Rand. ((shudder))

My actual depression is surprisingly well-controlled, without an SSRI, SNRI, or TCA ((personal advice: please avoid Tofranil)). Wellbutrin: the poor man's Ritalin. Something like that.

Sorry for all of you who are having depression, or at least very dark moods.

[Victoria'smom]

My head's sweralling, I'm crying, intense SH/SI thoughts, Sui thoughts, I ruined Christmas, talking fast, 6 hrs sleep, I'm mixed. No way out of meds this time I told DH he was better off without me.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

My head's sweralling, I'm crying, intense SH/SI thoughts, Sui thoughts, I ruined Christmas, talking fast, 6 hrs sleep, I'm mixed. No way out of meds this time I told DH he was better off without me.

(((Hugs MM))). What is your plan to stay safe right now?

[SvanThor]

Right now, I'm not particularly depressed. I am happy with the outcome and look forward to the future.

Originally Posted by still_crazy

Not depressed. Not manic. Just dealing with life.

Trump's victory shocked me, once I processed it. I mean, shocked me in a way that I've never experienced. The sky looked darker. The air felt colder. Life in These United States, 2016; we've elected a billionaire corporate welfare recipient to the Presidency. His vice President holds a Bible and governs according to Ayn Rand. ((shudder))

My actual depression is surprisingly well-controlled, without an SSRI, SNRI, or TCA ((personal advice: please avoid Tofranil)). Wellbutrin: the poor man's Ritalin. Something like that.

Sorry for all of you who are having depression, or at least very dark moods.

The VP is an Ayn Rand follower? How Christian like.

[Victoria'smom]

What is your plan to stay safe right now? Stay around people, take a klotipin if needed, Stay on here, try to save Christmas, not be alone.

[OctobersBlackRose]

I was getting happier until the election results came in, now I'm back to depressed, numb, anxious etc. I just keep thinking I'm going to lose SSI and Medicaid in the near future thanks to Trump, and that scares me, especially since I have a car payment for the next 5yrs. Idk what to do, the next 4yrs is going to be rough that's all I'll say.

[JustJace2u]

I've been depressed all week. It's gotten to the point that I dropped out of school.

[Wander]

not depressed. took olanzapine last night and finally slept but woke up feeling very flat. Yet a ew hours later, now I feel the mania returning. YEY!

Depression is awful. I hope all who are depressed feel better soon. Sometimes meds work, other times we just need to ride it out and stay safe.

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by jpb4815

I am depressed in our country, not because one particular individual won, but because during the primaries it became so apparent that the system was broken. I hope that we can learn from this lesson and start to field better candidates. I have grown tired of voting for one of two lesser evils.

Apart from that I am great, I just have had some HUGE life changes hurled at me and my coping skills are helping me to deal with them like nobody's business. It really makes me feel that the work that I have done over the last year has paid off. I am starting to regain hope that I can someday cope with my disease in a natural healthy fashion, and not just have to rely on medications that make me feel terrible.

This is wonderful, jp!

[raspberrytorte]

Thanks everyone for the responses.

I'm just so freaked out. I'm worried about everyone, including all of you!

[raspberrytorte]

Like... Trump plans on repealing the affordable care act and replacing it with something "better".

What is the something better?!

What about the people who get their insurance through obamacare? What are they supposed to do? Just not have insurance?

That's an example of what I mean, as far as me being worried about people goes.

[Faltering]

I'm sorry you're feeling depressed. I hope you've been taking some time for yourself lately and doing things you enjoy or that relax you.

I feel okay, I think. I never know when I'm in a normal mood from having this disorder lol.

Originally Posted by Faltering

I'm sorry you're feeling depressed. I hope you've been taking some time for yourself lately and doing things you enjoy or that relax you.

I feel okay, I think. I never know when I'm in a normal mood from having this disorder lol.

Not too long ago I was sure I was depressed but was actually hypo (a dysphoric version) and i too struggle to identify moods....especially in between ones. Mania is the hardest to accept and recognize....full on depression is hard to miss but my mild depression which is just as life sucking can be harder. And I consider myself a good self monitor.....I should reevaluate that consideration.

[Faltering]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Not too long ago I was sure I was depressed but was actually hypo (a dysphoric version) and i too struggle to identify moods....especially in between ones. Mania is the hardest to accept and recognize....full on depression is hard to miss but my mild depression which is just as life sucking can be harder. And I consider myself a good self monitor.....I should reevaluate that consideration.

I think there is something about bipolar disorder that makes otherwise logical and insightful people become unaware of their own moods. At least that's how it seems.

[VerMOZZica]

I was depressed before and now I`m just more depressed.Depressed and scared.

Feeling pretty powerful/empowered. I think depression has been removed from the list of current possibilities for me. Depression is the worst and my heart goes out to anyone who finds themselves in hells pit right now.

Originally Posted by Faltering

I think there is something about bipolar disorder that makes otherwise logical and insightful people become unaware of their own moods. At least that's how it seems.

I like to consider myself logical and insightful so hopefully you are correct and it's the illness at work. It shouldn't be all that hard really and I know the warning signs and can sometimes see mania coming and then suddenly it's like I'm a blackout drunk asking for my car keys because I'm fine to drive. Makes no sense at all!

[Nate7907]

I am Getting there, stay strong everyone.

[annielovesbacon]

I was doing well before the election too. I had just started a new AD two weeks before and I was actually feelings its effects and feeling like it was working. But this election has caused me to spiral into depression... for the first couple days the depression was directly related to it but now... I'm just depressed for no reason. I should've cherished my two weeks of happiness/stability more. I didn't know I'd lose them so quickly.