Questions: Bipolar Version 2

Yes. The church choir has to sing this big Hayden mass Saturday and I am not confident I can sing it 100% .

Do your meds make you sleepy?

Nope. I take lamictal primarily which for me has no side effects

What's your spirit animal

I'm going with squirrel or sloth depending on how I feel
honestly im not sure.

what is your passion?

how do you find your spirit animal?

this is something i've never known how to do, but i kind of want to know.

mine's probably either a bunny rabbit or a budgie, but want to confirm it for sure

music.

I once thought (or rather hoped), that before I died, I'd hear every single song ever recorded.

of course, that's not going to happen, because songs are recorded all the time

but I can make a pretty good go at it.

so, with half the year almost gone, how has 2017 treated you so far?

Not too bad, lost my passion for writing, had difficulty with disability and employment, moods were all over the place, but overall I got through it.

Do you have any hopes for 2018?

not really.

i've not thought about 2018 yet



do you like being hugged?

Oh god no as much as I long to be hugged. I just can't do it

Question: what's your plans for the weekend?

I'm going to be kitten-proofing for my new kittens who come home Tuesday finally!!!!!!!!!

Do you sunburn more easily as a side effect of meds?

awww kittens!. how nice!.

I wouldn't know anything about sunburn, as I don't go out.

how many medications did you try, before finding something that worked? (or if you're still finding something, how many have you tried?)

Thirty give or take a few. It took years.

Describe a psychotic delusion you had.

There have been several but one that sticks out is.... the police had secretly bugged me while I was asleep so as to get special information from me. They also bugged everywhere I went. Needless to say that was a fun one to explain to my support network

Question: Describe a psychotic hallucination you have had

I was driving at night and this beautiful woman, dressed in a gorgeous medium blue evening gown kept running out in the road and I did not have time to stop.
I was out in the country and the roads were very dark. I had 30-40 miles to drive and this kept repeating. The first few times, it was very alarming; eventually, I could just ignore it. It was over 30 years ago, yet had made such an impression, I still recall the details.

What med or natural remedy do you use for anxiety and/or sleep?

I use Klonopin mostly and an allergy med.

What was the last hospitalization you remember?

it was about 6 months ago. but that was only because hellbutrin caused me to go into an anxiety ridden yet very suicidal state.

has a med ever landed you in the hospital?

Yes. Xanax.
30 years ago, it was used, for awhile, in high doses. My then pdoc had prescribed 16 mg/day. I was outta my mind on it! That was one nasty detox.

Have you ever had a "crush" on a pdoc or therapist?
(It happens.)

Yes my Psychologist who has now left she was amazing lol!

What tricks do you use when having an anxiety attack out in public?

klonopin lol. I'm a one trick pony. I try to use mindfulness and all that but if it's an attack I stick with special K

do you ever have the urge to go back on an anti d you know will push you up into the heavens?

ok I will admit it . it was me thinking about this lol. "just a teeny tiny dose of Prozac is all" ran through my head
but I have been thinking throughout the day how my life cannot withstand another setback. more destruction, more cycling and hospitals and all that.
so no . no prozac

do you think positive thinking helps you?

Sometimes it does, but when I am in the throes of depression nothing can really get me out.

Do you tend to sleep a lot because of meds?

Tons. We're trying to fix that right now but clozaril is a bear for sleep. I need 12-14 hours per night usually.

Is it hard for you to take a shower?

Yep, I just got out of one right now after no idea when my last one was.

How often do you get depressed?

every fall and unpredictably otherwise. Since clozaril one mild depression (and more moderate one after my cats died but that was situational) in a year. That's never happened before so I don't know what happens or what my pattern is now.

How much water do you drink daily?

Over 200 oz...it is only because I feel replenished by the Holy Spirit when I drink water.

How long was your longest manic episode?

I sleep a lot when I'm depressed. My Latuda knocks me out for s good 6 hours at night.

Have you been med compliant?