Questions: Bipolar Version 2

I knew bits and bobs about Bipolar as I supported 2 young guys who had Bipolar.

Question: If you don't work at the moment... what kind of job were you in prior to not working?

I do work right now. I operate rides at an amusement park in summer and am a lift operator at a ski area in winter.

What's your favorite song you can relate to in a bipolar sort of sense?

Gods and Monsters by Lana Del Ray - Totally me at my most manic.

When was your last manic episode?

About 2 months ago I think

at what age do you remember first being what would be considered clinically depressed?

17

You guys? And first ages of mania or hypo?

13 years old for depression and 24 years old for mania (although they think I was younger)

What do you fear most regarding your mental health?

Mania.

Had hypo but never full mania.

that i'll never get to a stage where I can live life and i'll enjoy life

or that my next suicide attempt is not an attempt at all, but the real thing.



can you laugh about your situation?, or are you always serious about it (I believe you have to laugh sometimes, or you just can't get by)

Shattered, I'm really sorry you have had such a difficult time and I hope you are able to find excellent health care asap.

You're so right, once in a while we just gotta laugh about things. I still do sometimes thankfully.

Take care of you

Yes, I laugh at my situation I have to or I'll go mad! (Not that I am not already)

Do you ever remember a time when you were stable and happy?

Last summer was totally normal then it all fell apart coping with jet lag in September, family member health issue then Christmas anxiety was total icing on the cake and down hill from there to depression,hypo and mixed.
I'm totally hoping this summer will be better!

Seasons affect anyone?

Seasons affect anyone?
Yeah I think that there is a definite seasonal component to my mood disorder. While I was never formally dx with SAD I think I may have it- winters kick my asss with soul crushing depressions and then usually once spring arrives my mood shoots up. I think I live in the wrong climate (NE US) but am stuck here. I really should work harder to use my light box consistently next winter before my mood crashes. Idk if it helps but it doesn't seem to hurt.

How do you react/respond when an acquaintance or coworker who doesn't know about your MI says something totally disparaging or stigmatizing about "crazy" bipolar people; or who diminishes the seriousness of the disorder by calling anyone who changes their mind or mood as "SO bipolar..."?

it happened at work a couple weeks ago. another nurse said the Dr. has bipolar because she always changes her mind

I just swallowed hard and bit my tongue. ppl here knowing I had bipolar would be a death sentence. it's just that type of company. i wanted to scream though

do you feel ppl know there is something different about you right away?

yes for sure.

probably explains why people are so hesitant to talk to me or come near me.

I mean, it's crazy.

it's like mental illness is catchy. touch me and it's a death trap

I hate it!
what has been your worst ever experience with a therapist

Before I was diagnosed I saw this woman. I explained my problems to her and she said "well what do you want ME to do about it?!". I never went back

Do you agree with your diagnosis? Why or why not?

I guess I do but at the same time I question it. I guess cause this diagnosis came later in life and I've always just been the way I am. At the same time I recognize my past fits the criteria especially the last 6 months but it's cause when I'm feeling more stable like today I can't help wonder if I made it up or ... I really dunno. Maybe I'm still in denial too. I don't suppose this makes any sense!?

Don't forget to leave a question when you answer.

I do agree with my diagnosis. I have seen myself cycle far too many times to question it and I trust my pdoc and therapist.

Do you find that you are overly sensitive about hurting others?

More that a decision I make would lead to someone being hurt hence I'm terrible at making decisions.

Does anyone find that any of their senses become heightened with an elevated mood?

Very much so. I hate it but it's one of the first signs of mania/mixed for me.

Do you have trouble remembering meds? I'm great at PM meds but sleep through AM meds.

I am good at remembering AM except on the weekend. Never forget PM meds. My son takes AM and PM meds too, so it helps me remember. I can't take meds in the middle of the day though. I'd totally forget to take those!

What methods of distraction help you best when in a bad episode?

I have my phone set up with reminder alarms or I'd remember nothing, meds, birthdays, anniversarys, appointments etc.

Why do the "fun" symptoms of hypomania feel like a drug addiction? (Only thing I miss about the last few months but I know the depression followed it so tgere no real win)

I honestly couldn't tell you

I guess because..... well, it's the way it is. :d. I have no better response than that

have you ever tried a distraction method, but it never worked for you, and so now you don't do it?

I have to honestly say no I don't try to distract myself from it in fact I try to make it last as long as possible-even though it can all be unbearable at times ( stupid I know but I cant stop myself-I'm also in a bit of denial still).

What does it take to truly feel committed to maintaining stability?

I just have no desire to feel bad again and both mania and depression feel terrible to me so I try hard to avoid them.

Do you sleep through the night without wakening?

No. I usually wake up at least once to pee.

What's your favorite movie and why?