Questions: Bipolar Version 2

no.

I don't actually remember the last time I really devoted any time to it

how is your sleep pattern, currently?

Pretty good, my Latuda knocks me out for a good 6 hours. I still wake up about 3 am but I usually sleep off and on till alarm goes off

Do you have a hobby

I write poetry, take pictures, and putter around on my computer with various things.

What was the least expected thing about being bipolar? Something you'd never thought would happen.

Psychosis. I was diagnosed BP at age 37 and was under the impression that if I hadn't experienced psychosis by that age it wouldn't happen. Aged 40, in Nov/Dec last year I had a manic psychotic break. The questioning over whether or not I was BP1 or BP2 was resolved. It terrified me and I hope it doesn't happen again.

When was the first time you saw the ocean?

May.

Do you use white noise for calming?

I used to have a white noise machine, but I never really used it.

I spent all that money to get it specially delivered from australia, and..... yeah. waste of time I guess

how many times a day do you visit pc?

PC (as in Psych Central), I visit almost daily. It's been helping me through, especially when I feel so alone and misunderstood.

On a scale of 1-10 (10 being great), how are you feeling at the moment?

3. But I'm sick and having to use meds for my asthma that keep me awake and I've barely left my bed in days because if I move around I cough and wheeze. I'd be better if I wasn't sick and agitated.

Do you do mood charting?

I was going to say 3 too.

(actually mine's probably more like a 2)

no I don't.

I've a journal and I can't even keep on top of that
do you believe in the tarot

No, not really.
What's your favorite weather conditions?

rain.

and to this day, i've never figured out why. I just love rain.

are you currently doing well financially?

I am managing ok. I earn enough to get by in a basic way, pay my bills, cover my medical costs and save a tiny bit a week towards emergencies and replacing computers, phones ect. Occasionally I can afford to buy myself a toy, like recently I bought a new Fender Deluxe Amp to play my guitars through. BUT, I have no real assets (I rent and have few possessions and an average car) and barely nothing saved for retirement as my income has been so low for so long. Still, I am thankful to be able to cover the basics plus a few extras and live fairly comfortably. I doubt I will ever own a house and I worry about what I will live on when I get older. Things could be so much worse though.

What would you do if you had unlimited income?

I would buy my own island, fit it with everything I needed to survive, buy a boat to take me to the island, and when I run out of supplies, I would return to shore and buy them (knowing I had the money to do so)

that, or hire some workers, build the stores I need on the island and fill the shelves (though I'd still need to come back to shore at some stage)

perfect isolation, and I wouldn't have to deal with any (or many,) people. depends how I end up doing it
how long do you think you could cope in isolation?

Not very long. Although I enjoy my solitude, my family means the world to me and I would need to be in contact with them within days. Both immediate and extended.

What is your best coping skill?

being on here, I guess.

and even then I don't cope

well.. that or music, but either way I still struggle

what is your biggist phobia

My biggest phobia is fear of flying.
Did you ever crush on inappropriate people while manic?

Totally. I have crushes on peoples husbands, nurses, ex-husband, friends who I know don't feel the same way about me and pretty much a proportion of the population that I find deeply attractive suddenly. It can get me into trouble, and embarrass me but so far I have managed to keep the damage at a minimum. In most cases I tend to have at least a thread of insight left to help me from destroying my life, and others.

Have you ever had reality go weird on you while manic? Like colours, sounds etc are much more sharp and brilliant and the world seems to have moved to another dimension of sorts.

at lilypup, that's exactly the reason I can't fill 1 of the things on my bucket list yet (go to disneyland california), but maybe 1 day. who honestly knows?

at wander, yeah. sometimes.

do you feel you are moving forward with your life in a positive direction?

no.

I wonder if i'm even moving forward

sure the days go by, but am I moving forward?. I don't think so

how often do you exercise?

I try to walk my mom's dogs at least 3-5 times per week. It all depends on the weather (can't tolerate heat thanks to meds) and how I'm feeling though.

Do you crave carbs when feeling down?

I crave food all the time

so no, not really.

do you have long or short hair

I have longer hair.

Do you overspend/shop even when you are not manic?

Yes. I'm an impulse shopper.

Astrological sign?

Hello everyone

aquarius.
if mental illness wasn't an issue for you, what would be 1 thing you'd like to do? (job, travel etc)