[jtassar93]

I have my pdoc appt soon. I'm going to suggest IP since many of you think that's the best place for me. I'm going to explain why in my note I bring.

What should I do if he doesn't agree? What if he thinks I'm stable enough and have a support system at home (mom&sister) and I'm taking my meds? And I look okay.

My mom won't take me unless the doctor insists. Because it would be costly if I "didn't really need it" We have a lot of financial problems lol

[Bipolarchic14]

Sorry I deleted my first note because I realized I didn't read your entire response. You might just need a med adjustment. You can call your pdoc and tell them you are not doing well. Mine sometimes adjusts my Meds right over the phone.

How do you think ip can help? Have you considered IOP? I have done that a few times. It is helpful.

Are you still suicidal? Do you feel there is a chance you could act on it? Do you still feel you can't take it anymore?

[mtnannie]

I'd suggest listening to your pdoc's ideas and then advocate for what you think is best. That is hard for some of us to do, but your post sounds like you truly feel that IP would be best for you. Trust that unless one of the other options seems that it will support you better. That's the million dollar question, " Where can you best get what you need?"

[DelusionsDaily]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

Sorry I deleted my first note because I realized I didn't read your entire response. You might just need a med adjustment. You can call your pdoc and tell them you are not doing well. Mine sometimes adjusts my Meds right over the phone.

How do you think ip can help? Have you considered IOP? I have done that a few times. It is helpful.

IOP would be extremely difficult for jtassar as reliability of rides to and from appointments is part of what got her in the position. Her mom(who is her ride right now) has health issues as well as a crazy work schedule. Although, the hospital near me offers a van ride for a cost to PHP patients (or IOP not sure the difference...it is PHP at the hospital near me).

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

Sorry I deleted my first note because I realized I didn't read your entire response. You might just need a med adjustment. You can call your pdoc and tell them you are not doing well. Mine sometimes adjusts my Meds right over the phone.

How do you think ip can help? Have you considered IOP? I have done that a few times. It is helpful.

I've had many med adjustments and none have helped. My pdoc appt is soon so we'll go over my meds then.

I'm dealing with psychosis (hallucinations and delusions) and SI.
As I've been posting here many people have been telling me I need IP. IOP wouldn't work for me because of transportation issues.

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Are you still suicidal? Do you feel there is a chance you could act on it? Do you still feel you can't take it anymore?

I'm having SI. At this point in time I don't think I would act on it..? I have resulted to ((trigger)) self harm, not too much and not too deep. I was going for as little damage as possible, just something to get my mind off everything, which worked. I still can't take all the hallucinations and paranoia and SI.

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by mtnannie

I'd suggest listening to your pdoc's ideas and then advocate for what you think is best. That is hard for some of us to do, but your post sounds like you truly feel that IP would be best for you. Trust that unless one of the other options seems that it will support you better. That's the million dollar question, " Where can you best get what you need?"

Thank you very much.

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by DelusionsDaily

IOP would be extremely difficult for jtassar as reliability of rides to and from appointments is part of what got her in the position. Her mom(who is her ride right now) has health issues as well as a crazy work schedule. Although, the hospital near me offers a van ride for a cost to PHP patients (or IOP not sure the difference...it is PHP at the hospital near me).

Yes that's true. Mom has narcolepsy and sleep apnea. And works 5-6 days a week for long hours. (We're not exactly the richest people)

I wish that were the case for me. Unfortunately I live about 50 minutes away from the hospital.

Originally Posted by jtassar93

I'm having SI. At this point in time I don't think I would act on it..? I have resulted to ((trigger)) self harm, not too much and not too deep. I was going for as little damage as possible, just something to get my mind off everything, which worked. I still can't take all the hallucinations and paranoia and SI.

I think the self harm is a strong indicator you can't take it anymore, that mixed with the hallucinations and SI just sounds like an awfully bad combo. Tell your doctor "I feel like I can't take it anymore, I'm having suicidal thoughts, I've began self harming to try and cope. I can't take these hallucinations anymore and feel I need to be IP for my safety and ability to improve mentally"

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I think the self harm is a strong indicator you can't take it anymore, that mixed with the hallucinations and SI just sounds like an awfully bad combo. Tell your doctor "I feel like I can't take it anymore, I'm having suicidal thoughts, I've began self harming to try and cope. I can't take these hallucinations anymore and feel I need to be IP for my safety and ability to improve mentally"

Thank you
I'll use your post as reference when I write my note.

[DelusionsDaily]

Originally Posted by jtassar93

Yes that's true. Mom has narcolepsy and sleep apnea. And works 5-6 days a week for long hours. (We're not exactly the richest people)



I wish that were the case for me. Unfortunately I live about 50 minutes away from the hospital.

It's not bad just interferes with your ability to make/keep appointments which has negatively affected you mental health. Along with the crapper of a pharmacy you have to deal with.

Be sure to tell pdoc you've resorted to self harm to cope with your state right now and that you are continuing to have SI.

[Victoria'smom]

Your self harming, having SI, and psychosis on top of it you really don't have a souport system, and you can only get to ip certain times. So when you're at your worst you may not be able to get help. You need a second opinion and fresh eyes on your medication. Is your sister going with you Monday?

[~Christina]

Im actually surprised with your ability to post coherent things here. When I have been in a psychosis like this I could not for the life of me respond to people that made any sense at all lol

You really have what appears to be a great handle on this. I'm glad your staying relatively safe.

I do hope your appt on Monday is very helpful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Yes, yes, and yes... go. And if your pdoc says no, I'd go to the ER and then find a new dr! I can't imagine any pdoc saying no based on your symptoms. Keep us posted!

I can speak perfectly coherently when HIGHLY psychotic. Not always but more often than not. While a person might be able to tell "something" is going on, they would have no idea the extents unless I openly started discussing my internal workings. Sometimes my delusions force me to be silent and "play their game by their rules so they can't lock me up". Usually I'm highly agitated and that is noticeable but neurotypicals get highly agitated at times too. People would be surprised by the amount of highly delusional people who are successful at hiding it. And being able to hide it well isn't a good sign, it's often one that results in death with people saying "I didn't know how bad it was, why didn't they tell me". We all have different abilities and seeing hallucinations which terrify you, self harming and being SI doesn't automatically make a person incoherent. Lots of people see tons of hallucinations and remain coherent. ((((Hugs)))

Not saying anyone was insinuating otherwise but in case someone is reading this and thinking "wouldn't you be incoherent if delusional". I want to make the answer clear that not necessarily. (((Hugs)))

[~Christina]

I agree Elsa, I am able to hide a lot also , my response was mainly that she has been really unwell for a long time.

The inability to get her meds for so long is of course part of the problem.

I hope that she is able to find help before her psychosis gets worse.....she already said she's self harming.

Jtassar, I know I am not alone in being very worried about your well being. Please try to stop the self harm, not sure what your doing but self harm can go to far and put your life in grave danger.

I can sometimes hide it too well. And it's really hard for me to open up when I'm highly delusional so I can't tell them a large portion of what's going on which is hard.

I definately think it's a good idea to take notes with you. I think if you put it to them how you've put it to us (which I condensed into a few very important sentences" which are essentially quotes you have made, they will be able to help you better. (((Hugs)))

[jtassar93]

Yeah, it's easy for me to keep it to myself. With everything. I'm used to staying quiet and acting normal. I'll tell my pdoc about the self harm...I don't know if he'd be able to tell though because it hasn't been that deep and leaves no scars, which is what I'm going for-no scars. I'll ask my mom about finding a new pdoc.