debating spending the holiday alone

my parents live in Michigan and I'm in Pennsylvania... so jeep probably wont get done till spring now. I just feel so abandoned right now.

My heart breaks for you. This illness is terrible and when I'm bad I push everyone away for their own safety too. It's a lonely illness because so few can understand the torment going on inside us. I wish everyone from PC lived close so we could have get together and our own family of people who get it.

((((Stopsign))))

(((((((((st0psign)))))))))
Hmmmm. Do you feel up to a phone call? Or maybe you're not there yet. What *is* your most comfortable method of communication?

its hunting season and my dads at camp in northern pa right now. I texted him and finally got a response, he said we can talk when he gets home. this is his time to get away from the world (me included, if I'm not up there with him (now I'm not)) and I can respect that, regardless of what just happened.

Oh, that is so good to hear -- that the communication line is open! Even if it has to wait a bit, it should help some knowing that. Maybe during the interim, you could think about how you'd like to approach it. Think about what is at the root of things. It's so easy to get caught going in circles over details.

Something BF and I have found helpful when there's friction/misunderstanding (he's got more a BPD thing going on) is to agree that only one person will talk at a time. One person will get to raise a concern, and the other one listens -- no interruptions (And hell yeah that can be hard!! Lol!) With listening turn, try to REALLY listen and see it from their point of view.

Then switch. Also, try to avoid words like "always" and "never" and try to use "I" statements (those 2 things right there automatically preclude the ol', "You NEVER blah blah blah!!" Basically, letting both people be heard and trying to not set each other on the defensive. Oh! And not aiming to "win". Try to keep a team attitude. The goal is to make it work -- team up to find a solution or come to a better understanding-- and that's going to take give and take from each party.

It's not necessarily easy, but DAMN, it works(!) We've found the majority of the problems are misunderstandings. Assigning inaccurate motive is a biggie too.

I think you guys can get it sorted out. I really do.

I try to use "I" statements, and I'll be damn sure to use them this time around. but the overall goal here is to fix **** between just my father and I, he financially supports me right now, and I cant be dealing with stupid ********, the root of which was not my fault. It's taking all I've got right now to not throw a brick through my cousins front window, and drive away. this **** is all his fault. he threw away the relationship with his best friend for A SHOT with a girl. despicable... now that has precipitated to problems between my and my father and the rest of his side of the family which was my support system. I think I could watch him die in front of me right now and I would feel good. I think if I see him again I'll be lucky if at minimum I slug him in the gut and drop his *** to the ground. max would be I beat the holy hell outa him till the ambulance or the cops show up. that's how ****in pissed I am at him. he took my support system from under my feet. he wronged me and walked away and took the rest of my family along for the ride... I'm left alone. I NEED JUSTICE TO BE SERVED!

I'm sorry, st0psign. I was only thinking about the one talking soon with your father. (I realize in re-reading my post now that that wasn't actually clear.) I do wish you luck in talking with him.