[ComfortablyNumb5]

Ok so I've been diagnosed for 13 years now and I would say, in active therapy, for ten. Well in that whole time I've had only two T's that I was comfortable with. And I've had a lot, like a lot, of T's. The office is pretty much a turn table for residents. Pdocs and T's come and go faster than a McDonald's staff. Well when I'm living my daily life I think numerous times of what would be a good therapy topic based on what's bothering me at that moment. But the day of my appointment I totally blank out and have a false sense of health. So by the time I'm sitting across from the T, I'm totally blank. It's like I've talked myself into a little child's game and I'm the key player. I realize that this way of going about it is only hurting myself. So what I started doing in the last week is writing down (in a few words) what is bothering me. So far I have four main points. So come hell or high water, at my next appointment I'm going to bring my notebook and tell her what I have. And that's that. We'll run from there. But why must it be so hard though? And no it's not just this one. I've done this with every single T for 13 years. Even the ones I liked. What can I do to make this smoother? And who's to say I won't toss my list of complaints out the window on the way to the office? Ugh.

[Melmo]

This is exactly me too.

[JustJace2u]

I'm the same way as well.

[Ocean Swimmer]

In my appointments I'm talkative but it does feel like a show.
Like I'm acting in a play.
But even if you do tell them what's been bothering you RXQueen what are they going to do about it. Don't beat yourself up. You know the drill. Maybe a med change. Or they suggest deep breathing or going for a walk.
For some hearing it from a Dr makes it like an Authority figure.
For me, I don't like doing what I'm told.
In my support group many do what you're thinking. They jot down some notes,so they don't get stage fright.
If you need different meds it will be important to try to communicate what's going on.
My last 3 pdocs have just left it up to me anyway. Tney say, what would you like to try?
Last med I didn't like was Latuda. So I'm on my own hunt for a different med.

Engage your therapist in a discussion: "This form of therapy I don't feel is working. Is there another type we can try?" It might be helpful to sit down and do some research on modes and types of therapy - it sounds like talk-free-flow therapy isn't working and that a more structured approach would work. I am thinking something like CBT where one goes through a set series of tasks and learnings. Something with an assignment approach might work; something where you have work to do between each session.

Just a thought.

[bizi]

I hide the truth from my pdoc...pretend that I have total control over my drinking. She is very judgemental.
We both know that I am under medicated. I asked her what she wanted to add? She did not know, she did not have enough information. So, on my own, I started taking the lithium orotate. She would freak if she found out. It combined with the glutamine...I have more control over my drinking which was my real only symptom of instability.
So I am happy.
I will tell her about my taking glutamine to help with sugar cravings.
bizi
I need to find a new pdoc.

[hopeless2015]

Therapy is hard! I am lucky I found one I was comfortable with also I was in such a bad place when I started I had nothing to lose by laying it all out there. She helped me work through issues one thing at a time, I had so much going on I was overwhelmed. I'm taking a break right now after a year and half with her. She is moving to another town but told I'm welcome to call or email her if I'm in a crisis....good to know

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Thanks everyone. I'm glad I'm not alone. Another major thing I should have mentioned... in afraid of what I say to her because I'm in the social security process and I'm afraid of what could come out in front of the judge. For example, I have a long history of substance abuse. Well my attorney has turned clients down just because of this and I'm terrified he'll fish it out in my files. I'm sure it's already in my pdoc notes . So it's like I watch what I say even though my history is still a very big part of who I am now.

[xRavenx]

You are not alone. I also hide my past history that involved substances during a period of time. Although I no longer have this problem, my experiences have caused issues that still have an affect on me.

As far as therapy goes, unless I'm going through a major issue, I am not really sure what to talk about. I feel that way today, actually, I have my appointment in a few hours. Notebooks have helped guide me about what I should talk about, although I haven't used this method in a while since it's still hard sometimes.

Writing things down has especially helped with my pdoc, since I can be quite disorganized and forget to share certain things that are important and leave feeling that I should have brought something in particular up. Maybe this will help you. I also agree with the above, you can ask the therapist if there is another form of therapy that may be more effective. Good luck with this.

[Moogieotter]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

Thanks everyone. I'm glad I'm not alone. Another major thing I should have mentioned... in afraid of what I say to her because I'm in the social security process and I'm afraid of what could come out in front of the judge. For example, I have a long history of substance abuse. Well my attorney has turned clients down just because of this and I'm terrified he'll fish it out in my files. I'm sure it's already in my pdoc notes . So it's like I watch what I say even though my history is still a very big part of who I am now.

How much weed do you smoke now?

[Trippin2.0]

Did you seek therapy for specific reasons or more for general support?

Here's why I ask...

When I entered therapy, I had specific issues I wanted to work on, and specific goals I wanted to meet (eg. Emotional dysregulation / not cause chaos within my primary relationships)

This list made it easy for the T and myself to communicate as we had a clear starting point, as well as objective.

Funny enough, free flow therapy happened quite naturally, as we were sinking our teeth into my goals.

Ps. I too sit there with my mouth full of teeth at times, but I've been lucky enough to have therapists who are/ were good at probing, so it doesn't last too long.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by Moogieotter

How much weed do you smoke now?

I smoke like twice a month now. I got psychosis from smoking before and now it scares me. I quit suboxone in August and I have a few beers once a week. I have a lot of tough emotions to deal with since quitting opiates but I feel like I can't talk about it.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Did you seek therapy for specific reasons or more for general support?


Here's why I ask...


When I entered therapy, I had specific issues I wanted to work on, and specific goals I wanted to meet (eg. Emotional dysregulation / not cause chaos within my primary relationships)


This list made it easy for the T and myself to communicate as we had a clear starting point, as well as objective.


Funny enough, free flow therapy happened quite naturally, as we were sinking our teeth into my goals.


Ps. I too sit there with my mouth full of teeth at times, but I've been lucky enough to have therapists who are/ were good at probing, so it doesn't last too long.

Honestly, I started therapy because my attorney told me to for social security. But my pdoc was also pushing for it. I know I NEED it but I feel like I went in for the wrong reasons because it wasn't my idea.

[Trippin2.0]

So why not make the best of the situation, take advantage of it?

I suggest making a list of your own, (problem areas / goals) and see how you feel about presenting it to your T at your next session.

Who knows, it may just be what you need, and therapy might actually prove helpful.

[Moogieotter]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

I smoke like twice a month now. I got psychosis from smoking before and now it scares me. I quit suboxone in August and I have a few beers once a week. I have a lot of tough emotions to deal with since quitting opiates but I feel like I can't talk about it.

Cool. We're here if you want to talk about it. I think you are doing great!

moogs

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Yes I'm going to force myself to bring my list on the next appointment. I just totally flake out once I'm in her office.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Do the list of talking points. You'll get more out of the session.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm terrible at therapy too. I did a modified mood/thought/event chart for my T just because I forget even the big things to bring up. She then labeled me high risk and pushed for IOP. In your case that would be a good thing. I was bothered about the label and IOP at first but I realize I'm a good faker even when trying to tell the truth. Seeing it on paper makes it more real to them I think. You may want to try a mood/thought/event chart. If you do try to be honest on it.

[Unrigged64072835]

Bringing a list of issues to T would be a great idea. I sometimes do that when I get stuck.

[hopeless2015]

I think the list is a great idea to...take advantage of the therapy, you've had so much on your plate lately you have to be overwhelmed, I was when I started therapy and my therapist helped me prioritize things and work on issues one thing at a time, which was all I could handle at the time honestly