[Incubus]

I am back. Been off awhile. Kinda hard right now. I seem to mindless eating. My wife is helping. I had my meds increase so need to fight harder to keep the weight off. Holidays were harder for me don't know why but it's been for awhile. Working through it

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

@Moose: good luck! Hope it goes well for you. Let us know how it goes

---

I posted a separate thread here but short answer is I have Medicare and that's why my Medicaid was cancelled. Now I'd I could get cards to this effect I'd be happy. But I still have Medicaid for another month or so so that should ride me over. I see Pdoc tomorrow and I'll feel some better once I do. I also want to stop into the social security office to see what's going on with cards.

Originally Posted by Icare dixit

As far as I'm concerned, you're more than welcome (we're all merely people who found each other, like you found us, so I rarely welcome someone).

Has anyone ever considered whether you might have BPD (not saying it's BPD, just asking)?

When having fun, do you just go too far or are you extremely and very unusually happy and goal-directed?

No, I do not have BPD. The BPD's have problems with long-term planning. I don't have that and I'm very stable with regard to what are my values.

No, I do not go too far in having fun. I can go to a family gathering where there is no alcohol, have fun in the way that we have much to laugh of together and be home at a decent time afterward. That is enough ...

It is the elevation of the activity level in the brain. I have taught myself to do relaxation exercise and more afterward. I am very sensitive to too much stimuli.

The first time I felt it this way, was after being a guest at a birthday party when I was 12. I was so happy the next day at school that the teacher reprimanded me for bad behavior! I didn't understand what I had done wrong. (I had only answered his questions while laughing).

To me it doesn't matter so much what the actual diagnose is. I have done the work that was necessary to be able to live with this. I think that we all are first and foremost human beings who need each other and that are to be treated with dignity.

By the way, I don't think there is a diagnose for everything!

Thank you for your interest in asking!

[gina_re]

First day back to work was a success!! I enjoyed seeing everyone again and catching up with what was going on. They did adjust my job duties like I really wanted, so that was a great relief. The hard part right now is getting back into a routine of waking up earlier than I was before.

[Icare dixit]

Didn't wake up at 8.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by gina_re

First day back to work was a success!! I enjoyed seeing everyone again and catching up with what was going on. They did adjust my job duties like I really wanted, so that was a great relief. The hard part right now is getting back into a routine of waking up earlier than I was before.

Great! Keep us updated.

[Unrigged64072835]

Spent all morning in a diabetes education class. Today was explaining what it is, acute symptoms, and diet. We start using the machines next week. Ow.

Other than that, doing a load of laundry and chilling out. Not as bad as yesterday, but still some depression exists.

[Moose72]

Saw Pdoc and got Rexulti. Still need to get ahold of Medicare and Medicaid people. Ugh. Don't wanna adult anymore!!

Originally Posted by gina_re

First day back to work was a success!! I enjoyed seeing everyone again and catching up with what was going on. They did adjust my job duties like I really wanted, so that was a great relief. The hard part right now is getting back into a routine of waking up earlier than I was before.

So good to hear that the first day was a success! I'm sure you will become used to get up earlier the more you practice it. Don't forget to reward yourself every day when you manage!! (If you should oversleep one day, please forgive yourself quickly and then continue the good work).

Best wishes for you!

[gina_re]

Well day two was exhausting. Since I did so much yesterday (up at 4:40a.m., 1.5 hour train ride to work, attempting to work again and catch up with coworkers, 1.5 train ride home, support group for 2 hours, dropping a friend off afterwards) I crashed as soon as my head hit the pillow. Despite getting a little extra sleep by working from home today, by 10a.m I was so tired. By 2p.m I could barely keep my eyes open. But I decided to take advantage of the fact that it's only day 2 after being off for two months to not get a lot of work done. I'll be asleep soon and ready to hit the ground running tomorrow.

I am wishing their was more to life

more to life than just sitting here wondering why the hell life goes on

feeling pretty useless if i'm honest

like I should be doing so much more

stomach issues too. (probably from my last big binge)

not fun

Started to taper off Lithium and I am feeling the withdrawal. Really bad shakes and a noticable irritability and sensory overload. I have become aggitated. The aggitation is usually a precursor to hypo/mania. I am concerned. My psychiatrist is aware. We discussed this before the withdrawal occured including at what point I should seek psychiatric attention if it becomes bad enough or to the point that hypo/mania is triggered. Folks, this is really unpleasant.

[pirilin]

Another day, another buck I'll owe.

[gina_re]

I'm having the hardest time concenrating while working today. I'm frustrated. Maybe I'm just too tired since my sleep was interrupted last night. Ready to crawl back into bed.

[Fuzzybear]

I reject the word "should" mostly, it was used by too many abusers to hurt me.

Maybe they "should" have had sellotape over their mouth

(Not anyone on pc)

[12AM]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I reject the word "should" mostly, it was used by too many abusers to hurt me.

Maybe they "should" have had sellotape over their mouth

(Not anyone on pc)

I agree with this. And "Do not".

Originally Posted by gina_re

Well day two was exhausting. Since I did so much yesterday (up at 4:40a.m., 1.5 hour train ride to work, attempting to work again and catch up with coworkers, 1.5 train ride home, support group for 2 hours, dropping a friend off afterwards) I crashed as soon as my head hit the pillow. Despite getting a little extra sleep by working from home today, by 10a.m I was so tired. By 2p.m I could barely keep my eyes open. But I decided to take advantage of the fact that it's only day 2 after being off for two months to not get a lot of work done. I'll be asleep soon and ready to hit the ground running tomorrow.

Sorry to hear! May you have to accept that to return to work can be hard? I don't say this to be mean, more like, if you lower your expectations, may be it will become more easy to live with your tiredness. I used a half year once to get accustomed to work. That meant that I went to work every morning and came home exhausted every evening. I ate my dinner and rested for a couple of hours, before I did relaxation exercises, ate something and went back to bed for the night. I thought the tiredness should never leave me, but it did.

I don't feel well. Problems with family!

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by Singer47

Sorry to hear! May you have to accept that to return to work can be hard? I don't say this to be mean, more like, if you lower your expectations, may be it will become more easy to live with your tiredness. I used a half year once to get accustomed to work. That meant that I went to work every morning and came home exhausted every evening. I ate my dinner and rested for a couple of hours, before I did relaxation exercises, ate something and went back to bed for the night. I thought the tiredness should never leave me, but it did.

It was just a long day. I was able to get more sleep that night so I'm good. I'm getting work done today. No worries.

[12AM]

Mixed episode is a torture.

[Unrigged64072835]

Had my teeth cleaned this morning. I was nervous and it was painful as usual.

Kids are making meatloaf for dinner tonight. It will be interesting as they put in a medium salsa. Not sure if it will burn my mouth out or not.

[Moose72]

Social security office was closed all day. I went to the mall for 3 hours while I waited for them to (supposedly) open late and my lights were on. Battery dead enough to not start the car even a little. Grumpy AAA guy later I left. Arranged to have my weighted blanket held at the nearby ups office as I'm not always home. Tonight is church choir with my youngest son and my ex. I did take a shower and dried my hair- so easy when it's this short! Oh and I go the bipolar study check and deposited it.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Social security office was closed all day. I went to the mall for 3 hours while I waited for them to (supposedly) open late and my lights were on. Battery dead enough to not start the car even a little. Grumpy AAA guy later I left. Arranged to have my weighted blanket held at the nearby ups office as I'm not always home. Tonight is church choir with my youngest son and my ex. I did take a shower and dried my hair- so easy when it's this short! Oh and I go the bipolar study check and deposited it.

you make money being in a bipolar study???
how can I do this too?
bizi

recovering.

yesterday I really didn't think what I was doing, and ended up eating raw burger and chips

well.... rough night last night- not only because of no sleep, but feeling sick every 10/ 15 minits... not fun

[Nammu]

Sitting waiting on the new pdoc. Guess my appointment is for an hour....not sure what there is to talk about since I'm stable.......never before met a new pdoc stable! I'm always in crisis before I seek one out! This is new for me! Wow. Hadn't realized this till