[CloserToTheMid]

level and focused. that is very gratifying after so many months of struggle

[hopeless2015]

Making my way through this day ok....concentration level I a little low but I'm managing to get things done, just very slowly

[Faltering]

I have an urge to cancel the psychiatrist appointment I've been waiting to go to for months. I think I'm cured idk. Work has been so stressful that I haven't had time to think about my mood. Winter break is coming up thankfully.

[Unrigged64072835]

Slow day after a few busy ones. Kids kept busy cleaning this morning so I was talking to them quite a bit. Tried to read a book and take a nap but mind is racing as usual. Only two appointments next week. It's going to drag.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Had therapy today, told my therapist I messaged a couple of people I want to high school with. Now she expects me to be social with them. I'm still in the re-connecting phase. No plans to hang out, and communication will only be sporadic. It was weird not having my DBT group yesterday, and having therapy today and not yesterday as well. A break in my routine which I don't like, but okay, got to deal with it I guess. Nothing else really going on, tomorrow going out with my Mom and Grandma to do some Christmas shopping. Can't buy much, but I'll get a couple things.

[Moose72]

October's I'm glad you can do things with your grandma.

[gina_re]

I don't even know how I feel right now. I had three great days. And today I just feel...blah. I'd rather be alone. Worried about going back to work, just not happy. Meh..
Well I gotta babysit tomorrow, so I'm gonna have to get over it by the morning.

[CarriB]

I had a pretty good day today and I see my pdoc tomorrow.

[xRavenx]

Saw my pdoc tonight. I was glad she squeezed me in. She was thinking about adding Latuda to my current cocktail. She doesn't see a problem with me being on 2 AP's at once. She called the pharmacy/insurance company, and we found out Latuda isn't covered, so she's scratching that idea since she doesn't have samples at the moment.

All my meds were upped, so we'll see how that goes. She might throw Risperdal into the mix too. I see her in four days for follow up. I'm crossing my fingers that something works without horrendous side effects. Sometimes I feel that with meds it's like throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks. BP sucks. I know I need to give up on the idea that there's some "magical combo" of meds out there though.

[CarriB]

Latuda is a new and expensive drug. I'm lucky my insurance covers it but my husband works for the county and our insurance is amazing.

[Moreta]

I woke up today with extreme pain in my eye. Got herpes in my eye again. No it's not sores. The virus is on the lens of my eye. Most of the time today it felt like my eye was a sandbox. It's better tonight but still blurry. I'm on valtrex and am using zirgen gel. Since this is the second time it's happen I'm probably going to have to go on Valtrex for life. so much fun. I just don't want to lose my eyesight.

[LadyShadow]

Was a bit emotional today, but I made it through with the help of my best friend. I am falling in love with him all over again I think. Had some daydreams of marrying him again tonight. Haven't thought of him in that way in a long time, it felt nice. Anyway, today was the first day of a new job and I had a whopping headache, but made it through, so and up and down day.

[Wander]

Left IP 2 days and 7 hours ago. Been around people since which has been really helpful but as of an hour ago I am finally on my own. Feel tired but good. Just relaxing on the couch. Going to try have an early night as I have my sister, nieces and nephews coming over to walk down the beach for a swim in the morning. Should be fun. Going to be alone for a few days after that. I think I will be ok. Had a lot of support. I am so lucky. Still fragile so taking is real slow and easy. Good news is my stable mood has remained.

Originally Posted by Moreta

I woke up today with extreme pain in my eye. Got herpes in my eye again. No it's not sores. The virus is on the lens of my eye. Most of the time today it felt like my eye was a sandbox. It's better tonight but still blurry. I'm on valtrex and am using zirgen gel. Since this is the second time it's happen I'm probably going to have to go on Valtrex for life. so much fun. I just don't want to lose my eyesight.

That is horrible and scary and I'm so sorry you are going through that. I've read about how dangerous it is to get that virus in your eyes. I hope the doctors can fix it up fast and prevent it from happening again. (((Moreta)))

[Nammu]

Getting very irritatable from lack of sleep. 3-4 hrs is not enough. The doc did call in a script but my insurance won't fill it and they won't let me buy it without my insurance ok. What a mess. I was afraid of this happening. I've been on 1-2 10mg pills for almost three yrs but most docs aren't comfortable with that. I tried to explain that sleep or rather the lack of sleep is a huge trigger for me and that my whole life sleep has been a problem for me.

I used to wait for my parents light to go out give it an hour then sneak out the window and go play with my dog or lay on the picnic table and watch the stars. In winter time I would just use a flashlight to read under the covers. They now say migraines are linked to bipolar and I had horrible ones until menopause. I would lay naked on the tile in the bathroom the only cool dark place in the house. Naked because I couldn't stand the feeling of clothes or sheets on my skin. These docs don't get how important sleep is for a wired bipolar. J

Just gotta hang on until Jan 6th when I see the pdoc they assigned to me. But I'm in a different state, mn where they are far more conservative with meds than tx.

The irritatableness is bad cause we are going to have 17 people here Christmas Day...OY. Moms house is big but not for 15 adults and two kids under 5. My poor cat. He's going to be hiding all day.

[dillpickle1983]

I'm becoming very manic....I've had warning signs for the last two weeks like excessive sleep, and a deep depression period. Now I feel like I am top of the world. I can't shut up and my roommate was like you're manic lol when he woke up to go to work. It doesn't help that I've had an excessive amount of coffee this morning either. I'm not irritable or angry or even slightly annoyed with anything right now which is completely off for me.

[Unrigged64072835]

Another slow day. Went to where my daughter works and bought a new pair of shoes. Too bad she didn't get commission on it because she had to order them online and they don't do it online. I hope that was a good part of her day because there were only two people working and a lot of people waiting.

Now have to wait 9 days for Christmas. I know what a couple of my presents are but the others are surprises. I sound like a 5 year old, lol.

[Standup2me]

Wheeeee....... mixed, mixed...roller coaster
I'm up and dancing
I'm down and sobbing in the bathroom
I hate mixed states

[CloserToTheMid]

just a little worked up, but it's within a normal range considering my current stressors.

[hopeless2015]

Made it through a full work week!! That's a big deal for me, I'm chilling with a glass of wine now

[Moose72]

Found an Amazon gift card for my eldest for Christmas. I'd looked all over and there they were: tons of them staring at me at Walgreens.

[CarriB]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Found an Amazon gift card for my eldest for Christmas. I'd looked all over and there they were: tons of them staring at me at Walgreens.

I think Walgreens is like the Target of drug stores. They have everything.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by CarriB

I think Walgreens is like the Target of drug stores. They have everything.

Yup! Target didn't even have them and that's the first place I looked.

[scatterbrained04]

Feeling a little down. Not depressed. Just down. Can't seem to "fit in" anywhere. Not even with most my family. Not at work. No friends. Hell can't even make friends online. Am I really that awful? I guess so.

That and I still need to Christmas shop for my son, but I don't have anyone to watch him so that I can. Not sure what to do

[Gabyunbound]

I'm getting ready to leave for my trip out East to see family for the holidays.

I had shared with my sister in law how very very anxious I was about renting a car and driving to places I had never driven to before (this always makes my anxiety skyrocket) and the angel told me to cancel my rent a car and had arranged for a very reasonably priced driver she knew to take me from BWI to my mother's and back. And my brother is taking care of ferrying me between his place and my mother's. What a wonderful, generous woman!! She insists that I have a stress-free holiday.

I'm making the preparations for leaving, and although I have that huge bit anxiety off of my shoulders I'm still very anxious about preparations and traveling itself, as I always am. But thanks to my sister in law and my cat sitter (who finally came through at the last minute), I think this might actually go well. Keep your fingers crossed and knock on wood for me, pleeeease!! I always worry about everything that could go wrong! But I hope I do have a relatively stress-free holiday, for once, and for this I am so grateful to so many people.

Let's hope I have far less anxiety than usual and that I stay stable! High stress can send me into unrelenting anxiety and/or episodes.