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#1
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Anyone else feel like they never quite recovered from a severe psychotic episode?
I had a severe psychotic mania for about 6-ish weeks at the beginning of this year. At the height of it I was totally convinced God and angels were sending me messages and quests. I had to be hospitalized. I never used to have bouts of psychosis before, but since then I've had frequent psychosis. Some came along with depression, but some just seems to happen on its own. Right now, for example, I feel like I'm being watched/getting messages from an evil supernatural entity. This is a common thought for me. I know it sounds odd, but it still feels true. Can anyone relate?
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dx: schizoaffective bipolar type; OCD; GAD rx: clozapine, clonazepam PRN |
#2
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After mine I didn't feel like I was part of earth. I felt distant from everyone. But the longer the amount of time goes on the more that feeling retreats.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
#3
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I haven't been well since I've had my first break about 2 years ago... There's always been something wrong since then. I've lived with BP since adolescence but not like this, there is usually some relief in between episodes. but since my first break I've not been okay since, just bounce from mania, to mixed state, to depression, sometimes with psychotic symptoms, sometimes not. but I haven't been well in over 2 years now. if there was a time of relief it was maybe a week. this is not a life worth living...
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Bipolar 1 with mixed and psychotic symptoms & ADHD Meds Latuda 120mg Lamictal 200mg Haldol 5mg (+5mg during mixed episodes) Vyvanse 40mg morning 20mg noon Benztropine 0.5mg |
![]() Nammu, Shazerac
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#4
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![]() Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg ![]() |
#5
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Two weeks out from mine ending and I feel mentally and physically shattered. Emotionally fragile too. A little bit 'out of it' too. Still my mood is stable thankfully. I am yet to see how long it will take to recover. What I went through still haunts me and frightens me. I doubt I will ever be the same. In some ways I feel I have learnt from the experience and will be a better person for it. In other ways I feel broken and am not sure if the pieces will ever go back together. My biggest fear is another episode. So far so good but it is early days.
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
#6
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No I never recovered really. I'm a different person now than I was prior to it. I have frequent psychosis now too. I never used to have that problem.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
#7
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My last one i had paranoid delusions, paranoia can cause you to feel threatened or in danger, and illicit a dangerous response to the perceived threat.. they make people dangerous, hence (and rightfully so) some of the stigma with mental illness. I slashed my sisters tires because i thought she was out to destroy my life... paranoid delauions can become dangerous, and ive now had them, and i scare myself sometimes because i just dont know what I'll do next, and i cant always trust my intuition...
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Bipolar 1 with mixed and psychotic symptoms & ADHD Meds Latuda 120mg Lamictal 200mg Haldol 5mg (+5mg during mixed episodes) Vyvanse 40mg morning 20mg noon Benztropine 0.5mg |
#8
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But they feel so real. Like i cant be wrong...
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Bipolar 1 with mixed and psychotic symptoms & ADHD Meds Latuda 120mg Lamictal 200mg Haldol 5mg (+5mg during mixed episodes) Vyvanse 40mg morning 20mg noon Benztropine 0.5mg |
#9
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They do feel that way, don't they. Some of the things that I'm told are just delusions I still believe one hundred percent, and no one is ever going to convince me otherwise.
The difference now is that they don't bother me. I'm not obsessed with them like I was before.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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