Never quite the same after psychotic break

Anyone else feel like they never quite recovered from a severe psychotic episode?

I had a severe psychotic mania for about 6-ish weeks at the beginning of this year. At the height of it I was totally convinced God and angels were sending me messages and quests. I had to be hospitalized.

I never used to have bouts of psychosis before, but since then I've had frequent psychosis. Some came along with depression, but some just seems to happen on its own. Right now, for example, I feel like I'm being watched/getting messages from an evil supernatural entity. This is a common thought for me. I know it sounds odd, but it still feels true.

Can anyone relate?

After mine I didn't feel like I was part of earth. I felt distant from everyone. But the longer the amount of time goes on the more that feeling retreats.

I haven't been well since I've had my first break about 2 years ago... There's always been something wrong since then. I've lived with BP since adolescence but not like this, there is usually some relief in between episodes. but since my first break I've not been okay since, just bounce from mania, to mixed state, to depression, sometimes with psychotic symptoms, sometimes not. but I haven't been well in over 2 years now. if there was a time of relief it was maybe a week. this is not a life worth living...

((((st0psign)))

Two weeks out from mine ending and I feel mentally and physically shattered. Emotionally fragile too. A little bit 'out of it' too. Still my mood is stable thankfully. I am yet to see how long it will take to recover. What I went through still haunts me and frightens me. I doubt I will ever be the same. In some ways I feel I have learnt from the experience and will be a better person for it. In other ways I feel broken and am not sure if the pieces will ever go back together. My biggest fear is another episode. So far so good but it is early days.

No I never recovered really. I'm a different person now than I was prior to it. I have frequent psychosis now too. I never used to have that problem.

My last one i had paranoid delusions, paranoia can cause you to feel threatened or in danger, and illicit a dangerous response to the perceived threat.. they make people dangerous, hence (and rightfully so) some of the stigma with mental illness. I slashed my sisters tires because i thought she was out to destroy my life... paranoid delauions can become dangerous, and ive now had them, and i scare myself sometimes because i just dont know what I'll do next, and i cant always trust my intuition...

But they feel so real. Like i cant be wrong...

They do feel that way, don't they. Some of the things that I'm told are just delusions I still believe one hundred percent, and no one is ever going to convince me otherwise.

The difference now is that they don't bother me. I'm not obsessed with them like I was before.