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#1
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I have periods of somewhat elevated moods that, when happening, seem to be baseline to me.
Then when I reach what probably is the true baseline, or, dip a bit into a low mood, I realize that it was not baseline but an elevated mood, and feel embarrassed within myself. I also feel embarrassed that my therapist saw me in that elevated mood without my realizing that it was elevated. Does it happen to anyone else? I am now working on showing to myself how productive that slightly elevated mood was; I am working on establishing a regular schedule of eating and sleeping, and have been successful - I cooked a ton and avoided all eating out. I do see how helpful the elevation was to me, but still feel embarrassed. Something in me tells me that an average person does not get such periods, and thus I am not entitled to them. Maybe this feeling of not having an entitlement is due to my now being slightly depressed. It is so hard to determine what the baseline is!
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Dx: Bipolar I w/Psychotic Features Rx: Seroquel ER 550 mg, Depakote ER 1000 mg, Melatonin 6 mg, Atarax 50 mg. |
![]() xRavenx
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#2
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My personality is pretty hypomanic too. I can see how you couldn't tell baseline from hypomanic.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() Sad Mermaid
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#3
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Yes...this happens when I am manic. I start out as hypomanic and then, after days of no sleep (that I attribute mostly to coincidence initAlly) I realize I have been doing and saying some very bizarre things. My therapist realizes I am unwell before I do and she will say something and I will brush it off generally. I will send her bizarre emails that I will think are normal and she will refrain from reading them knowing from the beginning I am manic (thank God)!!! Anyway, it sucks that I have to act like a total idiot before losing my mind while manic. Then I go from behaving bizarrely to complete insanity when I become a danger to myself and am beyond humiliating. I hate it!
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
![]() Sad Mermaid, xRavenx
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![]() Sad Mermaid
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