[Anxiousvalkyrie]

I'm really struggling. I want to sleep all the time, I have absolutely zero interest in anything and I've left my apartment all of twice since the end of November. In the past I've always experienced a depressive episode after a major manic one, like the one I experienced that started last spring. Ive been on Seroquel since August and Lithium since the end of September. It's helped the mania but I'm not sure if those drugs are supposed to help with bipolar depression.

I also feel completely emotionally dead. I'm wondering if that is from the lithium. I've heard that can happen and I absolutely hate it. My mom (who works in mental health) tells me it's one of the reasons bipolar people often quit their meds. If I'm being honest I want to quit taking them. I feel like I'm taking them more for the other people in my life instead of for myself. I feel really awful. I don't see my Pdoc until the end of the month because he's on vacation. I really don't know what to do...well....except sleep. At least when I'm asleep I don't know how miserable I am.

[Wander]

I am sorry you are struggling. It certainly sounds like you are depressed. I have just come out of a manic episode and feel the depression sneaking in. It is a common thing for depression to follow mania. How long does it usually last for you and what have you done in the past to manage your depression? Is there an on-call pdoc you can contact while yours is away? If you can't see a doctor but are safe it is best to use skills you know, or learn new ones, that help manage the depression in a practical way. Like trying to do things that interest, or used to interest, you, eating well, sleeping on a routine, socialising and trying to get out of the house more.

Try to fight the depression with all you have and it will at least make a dent in your suffering and get you through till you can get your meds changed. It does sound like a med change is needed. For me Lithium does nothing for depression and I haven't used Seroquel a lot but when I did I was still depressed. Take care and take each day at a time.

[st0psign]

the title of this thread... welcome to my life. I'm sorry you're not doing so hot right now. just remember BP is a cyclic disorder, and at some point you WILL feel better than you do now . might not feel like it, I know the feeling, "oh this will never get better, I'm gonna feel like this for the rest of my life". they're just depressive thoughts, nothing more. but things will turn around for you, hopefully sooner than later .

Hang in there!

Hey, Anxiousvalkyrie, I was just thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. Sorry to hear it is crappy, but glad you have reached out.

Wander's got good ideas. Also, is there anyone whose help you can enlist in implementing some of these ideas?

Is contacting someone covering for your prescriber an option where they might be able to advise you on a dosage adjustment or call in an additional prescription to help you while waiting to get in for an appointment? Like via phone or email?

I remember you saying the process there being pretty cumbersome and drawn out, but surely (hopefully!) there would be someone covering for your provider, especially for such a long absence.

If that isn't an option, the hospital would be, right? Don't hesitate to go in if you are not feeling safe, ok?

[along4theride]

Sorry you're so blue right now. I don't take Lithium, but know several people that do. They don't have flat moods, however lithium isn't their only med either. What can you do to talk to your doc? Sounds like maybe you need an AD added to your meds maybe? Using coping skills is a great suggestion. For me, if my chemistry is unbalanced, it's harder for me to work with skills.

Keep letting us know how things are going!

[MtnTime2896]

You might need an antidepressant or something to go along with those two drugs. Lithium treats both mania and depression in bipolar disorder, so I don't know if adding an antidepressant will even be an option for you. I experience "flat" moods but it's usually just the apathetic/indifferent side of my depression. You will cycle out of this. I don't suggest you stop taking your meds. I do recommend getting a hold of an on-call shrink as soon as possible to discuss your options.

[Trippin2.0]

Lithium made me flat (and utterly stupid to boot), its one MS I wont ingest again.

Sorry to hear you're feeling so crappy.

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for your responses, I really appreciate them very much.

I called my clinic and they're supposed to have a nurse call me back in a day or two. They're pretty good at having talked to one of the doctors before calling back so I'm hoping they'll be able to help. Worst case scenario I can always go to the psych ER but I'd rather avoid that at all costs if I can.

I've been trying to use coping mechanisms but that tends to be difficult for me when I get this way. My best friend got home from a three week trip to India late yesterday and she came over to see me today, so that was something positive.

I'm thinking medication is likely going to be the solution for this. Whether it's switching up doseage or adding something new I couldn't say. I know I can't take antidepressants they massively trigger my mania. So I'm not sure what the answer is but my regular Pdoc is back in two weeks and I think he will have a solution. Just have to survive until then.