[BeyondtheRainbow]

A lot of you know that I had to put my 21 year old cat to sleep in December and that I've been having a hard time with this. I have another cat who is 14 and has had severe pancreatitis twice and gets the occasional, treatable at home, flare every so often. He also was just treated for a big bump on his head. When it was biopsied they couldn't be certain it wasn't cancer but it responded immediately to antibiotics so was considered infection.

This morning he had a mild pancreatitis bout. I medicated him and watched him and he got better except that his eye is weird. He isn't opening it all the way and his third eyelid is up. I read about this and it said give it a couple of days as he probably has had something in the eye. He curled up and purred and slept with me for a while and then left and has been laying in the living room for a couple of hours. He clearly does not feel well. I can't tell for sure but I think the head lump is back although smaller. I'm going to have my mom come see what she thinks in a little bit. If he gets worse we'll have to do emergency vet; if he stays the same he will go to our vet Monday.

Pancreatitis attacks aren't like this. He isn't acting himself at all and I'm scared of what that means. I can't do loss again right now.

I feel so guilty because I've been dogsitting and while I've been here last night was the first in a week that I was here. He was so happy for me to be here. Now he accepts pets but isn't purring or cuddling.

Something isn't right.

[Hobbit House]

So sorry for you. Too soon to be going through the same thing again. I hope you find out good news at the Vets. From one pet owner too another. Good luck.

I hope it turns out ok. I hate the feeling of waiting and seeing.

[raspberrytorte]

Hugs, rainbow. I hope you kitty is okay. I can understand. If one of my cats was sick I'd be a wreck! They become part of the family.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

He is still not feeling good at all. He seems to have a stuffed up nose and can't lay down to sleep comfortably. He did have a little bit that he cuddled up and purred and then seemed uncomfortable again. I keep waiting for him to get more comfortable to take my meds; I don't want to sleep through him needing me. I'm going to set up the vaporizer in a minute to see if that helps some. His eye is still swollen and I think he lump on his head is there but he won't let me touch it to be sure. I feel so bad for him and I'm scared he is sicker than I think.

He hasn't had water or food all day. Not sure what to do about that. I am scared if I take him to water he will not want to come back to the bed with me and I want him to stay close.

I'm just so afraid.

[raspberrytorte]

I hope he starts eating and drinking soon. I can understand not wanting to have him away from you!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I took him to food and water and he drank a lot and ate a little. Then he cried a lot but made it to the basement to the litter and peed, which is really good. Now he's mad at me and hiding under the Christmas tree (yes, I know...it's not decorated, I just haven't taken it to the basement).

His other eye is looking kind of irritated too. I have a feeling we're going to the vet ER in the morning. Or tonight.

Oh, and plugging in the vaporizer I knocked my dawn/dusk simulator light off my shelf and broke the cover. I haven't been using it but now I'll have to come up with $30 if I want to/need to. (Not the first time I have done that).

I should have taken him to the vet today. If for no other reason than my own nerves. But they were closed when he started to get sick and most of this is just our routine.

Seems like everything expensive happens at once; car repairs, dentist, vet bills last month for both cats......now an additional probably emergency vet bill.......ugh.

[raspberrytorte]

Everything always does seem to happen at once. I hate that! I hope the vet ER is able to help him in the morning!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

He sneezed and a tiny bit of blood came out of his nose. Not at all enough to be a big deal and I wouldn't have seen it if I hadn't been staring at him; it was gone in less than a second. Now I'm really freaked out as bloody discharge is apparently usually associated with more serious problems. I keep telling myself that one tiny pinprick sized drop of blood isn't what they are talking about but the entire thing where they thought he might have cancer 6 weeks ago is ringing in my head. I can't lose 2 cats in less than 2 months. I can't handle that.

This is going to be a long night. Unless he suddenly starts sleeping comfortably. But I'm not taking meds. I need to be alert enough to react.

Thanks for listening.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Oh you poor thing.
I know how you feel.
But I think you should take your meds and get some sleep. That way you can help kitty more when it's time to go to the vet.
I put a cup of water on the bed side table. You can also put some dry food in a plastic tube on the bed.
Good luck. Let us know. Much love.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

He finally got more comfortable in a cat bed in the living room and I got 2 hours sleep. I convinced him to drink water and he finally peed a bunch so that combined with better breathing (through his nose!) and a few bites of food has this down to monitoring closely but hopefully making it to his vet tomorrow. It still may require emergency services but for now he's much better than he was and since the lump on his head is going to need biopsied I'd rather have it done by the same person who did it last time.

When he was a tiny kitten he almost died from a virus and that has flared up a few other times during his life. For a while he was diagnosed with chronic sinusitis but when we moved here that went completely away (as did some of the severity of my asthma) so I thought it was environmental. It's been 3 1/2 years since he had a flare-up but the stress of losing the other cat (he's never been without her since I adopted him at 11 weeks) and my being away more this last week may have triggered it.

While I was typing he came in and jumped up on the bed and is purring. I think he feels a lot better.

I took 400 mg of gabapentin so I should be sleeping more soon. That was a long, awful night but I'm glad I didn't take meds; I needed to know what was going on with him. Now I'm just waking up in 4 hours to be sure he hasn't gotten worse.

I'm still so scared this lump is something really bad and I want him to really eat. But compared to when he was only comfortable propped on my arm we're improving.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm so anxious I can't do anything. My cat is stable. Which means still pretty sick. I'm scared because he has bloody tinged mucus and the internet says that is bad. He's never had that before with a respiratory infection. He also has this big lump on his head. He had that biopsied in December and it had both infection and potentially cancerous cells in it. But it drained overnight after the biopsy and the antibiotics cured it. So it was considered bacterial and the potential cancer cells just anomalies. But now that is back. So either it is the source of all this infection or he coincidentally has this and the illness (big coincidence since the lump is over the goopy eye and side of his nose that is draining gross stuff). Or he has cancer and all this infection is just part of that.

So I'm terrified of what I'll find out tomorrow. I know infection is the logical bet but anatomically I don't know if that makes sense.

I don't want to have to make end of life decisions. I'm so afraid. And I'm afraid of another night. I have to take meds tonight but I'm scared he'll get worse.

Right now he's mad at me because I shut both of us in the bathroom with steam for a while. He was no impressed even though usually he loves the bathroom--just not with the door closed and shower running I guess.

I don't want to lose him.

[Hobbit House]

Wishing you the best of luck for tomorrow. Hopefully it's just something simple!

[Moose72]

Good luck at the vet! Poor kitty!

[Unrigged64072835]

Good luck with the vet and all the best for the kitty. I've lost cats before and I know it's hard.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

We went to the vet today. It's either a very severe sinus infection combined with a channel between the lump on his head and his sinuses that should not exist but isn't dangerous or he has cancer and the infection is secondary to that. The vet was very cautious with what she said but essentially something besides the infection is wrong, cancer is a definite possiblity (to probablity) and I'm going to have to decide on testing that nobody can really guide me into. In fact he may need to be anesthetized, have a biopsy of a protruberence in his mouth that may be infection and may be tumor and I would need to decide while he's under anesthesia what to do based on what they find.

It looks like I may be losing my 2nd beloved pet in 2 months. Right now I'm waiting for the antibiotics to work. Then I figure out what is next; I think next is probably an appt. with his usual vet and some xrays to find out what the bony deformity is. For now we just know that he has had this lump twice, both times with infection, but that there are bony changes on his skull that are worrisome.

I am not coping well. This is the sweetest, funniest cat in the world and I just can't do this again. I'm not coping with losing one cat well...

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

It looks like I may be losing my 2nd beloved pet in 2 months. Right now I'm waiting for the antibiotics to work. Then I figure out what is next; I think next is probably an appt. with his usual vet and some xrays to find out what the bony deformity is. For now we just know that he has had this lump twice, both times with infection, but that there are bony changes on his skull that are worrisome.

I am not coping well. This is the sweetest, funniest cat in the world and I just can't do this again. I'm not coping with losing one cat well...

I"m so sorry. Hugs and love and light your way.