[boogiesmash]

I don't know what is with me today but I feel like I'm slipping and want to. I feel part of me wants to feel the anguish, physical and emotional pain of a harsh depression. The other part of me is holding by a thread and saying wtf is going in why do I want to feel this way. I want to feel happiness although I may not be there yet. Maybe it's the only feeling I know is real.

[DechanDawa]

Depression may be familiar and therefore you perceive it as comforting.

[Wander]

Sometimes when I am going down I say, 'Bring it on!'. It is a self-destructive urge for me and also depression is a familiar place I find oddly comforting (as DechanDawa said). Instead, fight it and do all you can do to stop yourself slipping as the reality of severe depression is hell on earth. I know when I am deeply depressed I long for relief and have SI because of this.

Happiness is real too, and you can feel it again, you will feel it again as the depression passes. Sending HUGS.

[Musician1980]

Hell no. But it makes sense to long for familiarity, just not the depression itself.

[lacerta]

When I don't want to do something at work, it feels easy to slip into deppression to avoid work. Slippery route

[rwwff]

When my body was injured enough and hurt enough.. yeah, and I think I was in for an epic version if I hadn't gotten real help this time. I might now be confused, sad, and a bit weirded out as I get used to how this feels, but I no longer have any interest in just stopping or having something stop me.

[Moose72]

Only in the sense so that I can write about it in my blog. I don't have very many entries at all about depression- just a handful.

[bioChE]

Like Musician said, Hell No. I hate depression; it's just pain, anguish, loneliness, apathy, and longing for it to end. I'd rather have my toes set on fire.

[boogiesmash]

Had a rebound today. Was in a good mood. Slept a bunch though.

[neodoering]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

I don't know what is with me today but I feel like I'm slipping and want to. I feel part of me wants to feel the anguish, physical and emotional pain of a harsh depression. The other part of me is holding by a thread and saying wtf is going in why do I want to feel this way. I want to feel happiness although I may not be there yet. Maybe it's the only feeling I know is real.

Wild! Sometimes I wish for hypomania, because I get a lot of good ideas for stories to write. But I NEVER wish for depression. That's just horrible.

Like other people are saying, I guess you want what's familiar, and the chance to feel sorry for yourself. We all like that once in a while

Do something nice for yourself instead, like get a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, or an avocado, or a block of cheese. Treat yourself. That is healthier than allowing yourself to become depressed.

[BipolaRNurse]

Count me in with the "Hell, NO!" crowd. I loathe depression. What I crave is mania---well, hypomania. Mania is too dangerous and freakish for me.

[franz kafka]

No way. Depression is far too scary.

No because of my strong suicidal urges

HOWEVER,

I *might* ask for depression if I'm very manicky and willing do anything to stop the destructive behavior... but that's pure desperation and not necessarily me "craving" depression

[zijax]

No. I'm in it now. I can tell you, you don't want to be here.

[Merlin]

I don't crave depression, but I do sometimes hasten my descent into it, as though I think, "I going to end up there, let's just get it over with."

[seoultous]

I only embrace depression when I play that silly game with myself, "Would you rather be anxious or depressed. I choose depression every time.

[Smileonmyface]

I do crave depression sometimes. I craved it for a long time when I couldn't seem to slow down and stop acting impulsively. Sometimes I just crave the feeling of wanting to stay in bed/in pajamas or even in the house all day. when I am more up I tend to feel guilty for wanting to be home and I'll push myself out of my comfort zone. And that usually ends up in feeling like a failure. Sometimes it's easier to just be depressed.