Trigger ⚠ warning

I spent the greater part of the night unable to sleep and then spent it trying not to down an entire bottle of pills. I SH for the first time in years. And I still don't feel like I want to be here. I'm just here. My fear was that I'd down the bottle and my children would wake and find me. I wrote out my goodbye note and everything but I burned it. I don't know what to do. I don't know why I crashed so quickly. Maybe its because I hate Valentines day with a passion. I'm just sitting here at home alone now. I probably shouldn't be. But I have medications to call in for my son and bill collectors to pay. I don't know how I'm suicidal one moment and the next moment I'm auto compelled to continue daily things as if I'm okay.

call you mental health provider or the suicide hot line number when YOu get like this. They are trained specifically to help you in crisis..
I am so sorry you are having a hard time right now.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Nickiskip you are not alone! We all get like that from time to time!
When I am feeling depressed and alone, I just try and think of happier times that happened in my life or set out goals` that you love to do and share with other people!!!!!

Take care................