Need help with my girlfriend

I sometimes feel like things that happen between us are my fault. Like the mania, the depression, the anger, the nasty comments I rarely say to her.

I love her to death. I just dont feel that happy with my life anymore.

How can I try to not say mean things to her that are so difficult to control?

Just try to explain to her, if you are in a mood that you are in a mood. I do that with my children. I let them know that I'm not in a good mood and its not them. Even I can only hope that they understand that when I say that I'm not using it as an excuse but I try to explain that I don't mean to hurt their feelings. I don't generally say things I don't mean to them because I know how fragile children are at the ages and stages they are in but maybe sit down and have a talk with her when you are not in a mood and explain what happens when you get to a point when you can't control what you say. remind her that you would never intentionally hurt her. I hope this helps.

Any new updates on dealing with life and your girlfriend?

When you are in such a thoughtful mood (as when you wrote the OP), write a letter to her expressing your feelings. Tell her that those are your true feelings, undistorted by moodiness. Ask her to remember the letter. Tell her that you love her to death. That's about it.

Your post hits very close to home and I admit that I am doing and have done the same type of things to my wife of 37 years. I am at times consumed by the guilt of the things I've done in the past. I am the king of rumination and would do anything to take back some of the things I've said and done. My wife on the other hand sees our marriage from a different viewpoint. Where I remember the bad things I've done she remembers the good. She sees me so differently than I see myself. She sees a kind and considerate man beset with a mental illness but who is also incredibly kind and considerate. I have no advice to give other than my own experience. Sorry about the ramble. Hope this helps. shaggy