I'm finally going to stand up for myself

(((((((((bluebicycle )))))))))
I know you don't want to hear it (sorry!), but this has sent you off to the races. Would it help hearing it from yourself? Can you look up some of your old posts from when everything went sideways with the Adderall?

And that was when you didn't (I don't think) remove stabilizers from the picture...
This is not a good situation. Please take care. Please kybosh the Adderall.

Thanks guys

I just feel like Adderall has given me special insights as to WHO is chasing me. I think I know the person's name and what they want to do with me. That's mostly why I've continued to take it. I'm afraid if I stop, then idk what will happen to me. It's given me like a 6th sense or somethin g. (Idk how else to describe it. It's the only non-placebo med I've been prescribed. All the other meds were fake.) Well, okay... I think I know who is behind it, I mean. There are obviously multiple people involved in this "plan", though. They've likely hired a hitman to remain anonymous.., at least for now. They're "sneaky" like that.

Innerzone, thanks. I will look them up

Like I said before, getting another opinion isn't always a bad thing. Plus, you never know unless you try. Heck, it took over 20 years for me to get a diagnosis, mostly because I was afraid to admit anything was wrong with me.

Can you try a completely different pdoc to see if another one will help you? Remember a while back I suggested you take advantage of being in a city with really great hospitals, like McClean, MassGen, etc? Now might be a good time to see if they can help you. You'll need to go to an ER because I'm sure they can't get you in very quickly otherwise. But just go to one of those great hospitals and explain how you are feeling and see if they can help.

Blue, you are in a psychosis. Please get help. This is going to end badly, but the sooner you get help the less of a crash it will be. Please get some help asap.

Blue, I'm going to go one step further than "you're in psychosis" and add "and you're enjoying it".

Well, if I'm being completely honest... I'm a bit scared of IP.

It's just the whole predicament, I guess. I'm not comfortable with it. I jut want the anxiety to go away.

I threw away my Klonopin and Ativan since they were useless, but t would be nice if I could get Valium or Xanax.. or something of the like. My anxiety is killing me. It's taking me places I don't want to go.

Maybe I should trust my pdoc and ask for an Rx. But I just don't know if he's "in on it", if you know what I mean. But I guess if he calls in an Rx, I could ask the pharmacy if they're giving me placebos, etc.. I never asked, but I'm sure legally they have to tell me

The pharmacy's not giving you placebos. You have a right to know what's going into your body, and the whole system would be in a load of trouble if the pill bottle said one thing and contained another. Meds tested in double-blind, placebo controlled trials are always tested with the full knowledge and consent of those in the trials. They know that they could be getting the active ingredient or a placebo. Believe me, there are reams of regulations controlling these things.

Thanks bioChE.. that makes me feel better

Oh, and another reason I can't go to ip: like i said, there are the "others", right? Well, I am destined to save the world from the "others". They are an elite force.. I don't know how many people are a part of it or what thy are capable of, but I have to do it. The world depends on me.

They have a hit list and I am sure I am on it. Who knows how many of you guys are on it too. It's scary to think of.

Trust your dr and tell him about the "others" and the addrall.
I believe they have to tell you what they're giving you if you ask. I asked my pdoc once and he said he'd never give me a placebo.

Well, here's the thing...

My pdoc may be a part of this elite force, now that I think of it. What if he plans to kill people by giving them poisonous prescriptions? (Or the Rx's might not even be poisonous in nature. I mean, he can always prescribe a lethal dose of something. e.g., he prescribes me 200mg of Lamictal and tells me to take EIGHT tablets at once.)

Idk if I can tell him about the "others". I have to determine his innocence (or lack thereof).

I hope you will trust him, yet, if not, then pick an ER.

A random ER does not know you are coming in and therefore has no ties with "the others" you believe exist.

There are good hospitals in your area. Pick any ER and go.



WC

P.S I took a friend to Mass General ER when she was experiencing paranoia. It all went very well. They understood and were able to help her. She went home with me a few hours later.

Well, I'm going to trust my pdoc... but with a lot of caution. I'm going to talk to him and see what he says

I don't trust the ER. All I need is a new Rx of a benzo anyways, as I threw away my Ativan and Klonopin. (They were useless anyway.)

A benzo will calm my nerves

So your benzos were useless and you threw them away but you need a benzo?

You need to be assessed by a doctor, the sooner the better. You have so many great options for psych care where you live. They won't know you so just pick one and go to the ER. They can help you come down and if you really do only need a benzo they'll give you that.

Yeah, I want a different benzo like Valium or Xanax.. Klonopin and Ativan were useless. If I take too much Ativan, I feel drunk. It does nothing for me. And Klonopin... ehh... didn't seem to have any effect honestly.

I'm just gonna work with my pdoc. ER is expensive. Plus, since everyone here has mentioned IP, it's not worth the risk of being put in ip if all I have is some anxiety. Wanting to save the world is not a reason to go to ip.

you threw away your benzo....
bizi

Your pdoc is a good choice.
He knows you best.


WC

please call your pdoc.
(((HUGS))))
bizi

In fact, if you won't go to an ER, which I still think is probably best, please call your dr's service. Someone will be on call and can help you. Another night of not sleeping could be really bad for you. I've been there. It's really scary what can happen with so little sleep. I don't even like to think back to those times but I know that I know I should have sought help before things hit the absolute worst.

You're right, wanting to save the world is not a reason to go IP. Neither is anxiety, usually. But psychosis is. Let the professionals determine which it is.

You've said you'll call your psychiatrist's after-hours line, so please do that and come back to these threads and let us know you've done it. We care about you and really want to see you under the best possible care.

Yeah, I'm staying far, far away from the hospital. Not even considering going there. Off the table. You'll have to drag me by the hair, and even then, I'll put up a good fight. Not doing it.

I'm not a harm to myself or others. Im just trying to save people. Big difference.

I'm going to do what I can to get some sleep

I took some Adderall this morning, and I do t know how long it's going to take to wear off

Benadryl? It's not much but it is something and if you won't do anything else maybe it can help you rest a little.

Hmmm. That's a good idea. I'll get some Benadryl

If we don't have any, I'll have my mom or dad pick some up for me

good. Also good decision not to drive