Struggling- Need support if Possible

Slept 11 hours but woke up hungover and agitated. Having ideation but trying to distract myself. Off to university now. Not sure how I will manage but I guess I can always leave early if things get worse. Mind a bit calmer. Still irritable and impatient though and feeling low. Considering hospital if I feel worse as I have begun planning to harm myself. Idk maybe another night on Zyprexa will help and I can avoid IP. Sorry for the jumbled post, like my mind.

hope you get good sleep and feel better in the morning.

Hi. Your mention of being in a mixed state stood out to me. This is because the symptoms you have described are very much like those I recently experienced. It turns out, I was experiencing a crash from hypomania. If you are rapidly going from one to the other could this then be the source? Are you perhaps having mini-crashes of the same sort. I am just wondering about this.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

I think it can be common for hypomania to turn into a mixed state. This is what happens to me sometimes and now is a perfect example. I was euphoric for hypomanic for weeks then this hit. Loved the hypo, had a great time so didn't take meds to stop it but now I wish I had as the fun is not worth this hell. They are distinct episodes for me, rather than switching rapidly. Before i was hypo I had been stable for almost two months. Before that I was psychotic manic and this feels like the beginnings of that episode. Sorry, I'm rambling...

Your not rambling

Hopefully you'll calm down a little today enough to stay out of IP tonight.

Well, I made it through another day. Quite productive actually. In fact I couldn't stop once i got up this morning. Made it through a 3 hour class at uni, organised paperwork etc, went for a long swim, spoke to a good friend on the phone, did food shopping and played guitar. Felt a bit 'speedy' today after getting past the morning blues. Mood is good, mind still jumbled but functioning somehow. Tonight I feel good, excitable even. Kinda weird how my mental state shifts recently. Who knows what lies in store for me tomorrow. Anything could happen. guess I will just roll with it. This is better than yesterday but I still feel myself spinning out of control. Part of me is too happy to care, the other part is worried. Oh well, nothing more I can do. Will hopefully punch out soon and have another good sleep thanks to Zyprexa. It is 8pm here. A lot to do tomorrow so I need to get up early. I can't seem to stop typing...Aggh. Stream of consciousness going on here...

glad you were able to keep yourself busy. Hopefully you get good rest.

Well, after taking 10mg of Zyprexa I slept for about 6 hours but it was broken. It is 11.30am here and I feel pretty good actually. Mood has lifted and I am being productive. Still, I feel agitated and 'speedy'. It is an uncomfortable feeling and makes my mind very scattered. I emailed my pdoc today as he asked me too. Feeling the way I am is manageable as long as it continues to improve. Being this wound up for too long might make me snap.

Now I am going to play guitar, study then go to work at 4pm. Keeping busy seems to help. Thanks again for everyones support. It really helps. Hopefully the worst is over and I will be stable soon.

It is 10pm and I am feeling awesome. The mixed state seems to have passed. I am so thankful and full of joy. My day has been great. Even work, which was very busy and stressful, was a breeze. I was all over it. The agitation has calmed down but I still feel speedy. My mood is miles away from the darkness i was in only yesterday morning. This is great. Meds are working. I actually feel like I love life and can do it justice. My mind is still racing but it helps me get things done and come up with great ideas for university assignments. My creativity is returning. I feel like I can solve ten problems at a time. So happy.

`Well done kid! I am happy for you!

I'm so glad it's working for you.

I'm glad the negativity seems to have passed, but you do still sound a bit up from my perspective. Be careful, keep in touch with your doctor, and keep doing your best to get enough sleep. Wishing you well!

Lol. Yeh, I am feeling awesome. I see my pdoc on Tuesday and will see what he thinks. It is midnight here so I am off to bed to try and sleep. I don't want to but know I should so thats a good thing. Got another packed day tomorrow.