Possibly Hypo or Mixed...where is this heading?

This is how I've been feeling the past few days. At first a few days ago, I was in my room yesterday, irritable and angry towards different people, but a lot of ideas were flowing through my head. It was kind of difficult to keep up with my thoughts, but over the past week, I've also been treating myself to all kinds of things and trying new things, but spending a lot of money. I'm extremely stubborn and quick to anger about things that some might see as disproportional to the situation.

In between, I feel relentless...like nobody could stop me. I am very impulsive with a lot of ideas. For instance, I am determined to fly to Florida and see a friend in a month and a half. My mood ranges from irritable to anxious to excited about different plans.

Also, I woke up yesterday and decided I will follow through with a plan to get cosmetic surgery and called various friends to see if they will stay with me/pick me up (for instance, if one friend can't do it, I'll have a back up). Usually, I rely on my mom for stuff like that (to be there for me for a surgery), but I know she won't approve, so she wouldn't go and be there for me...even though I am over a decade past legal age, she is stubborn about things against her beliefs. I feel like a liar by not telling her and feel bad betraying her, but I feel determined and am working out a plot so I won't tell her until it is done. Keep in mind, this is only a recent idea. My one friend was quite shocked, and she knows me well, but she will help me and go with me to the surgery, although she doesn't drive. We will take a taxi. I must schedule off work...but first got to get a consultation.

On top of it all, I'm spending a lot of money shopping. I am quick to get irritable when it comes to certain people, but I'm in my own little world where I feel nobody can stop me. It is hard to sleep with all that's in my head. Sometimes I want to turn it off. If I go to bed too early, sometimes I hear things and bits of conversations in my head that come randomly, but not all the time. My thoughts seem to jump to different ideas and ways to put them into action. I know that since I had a low energy depression, maybe some of the depression is lifting and leading to this behavior. I don't feel super "happy" hypo, more determined, agitated, goal-oriented.

Does this sound hypo, or mixed? I want to kind of be aware so I can watch out and be cautious. I sense my insight is disappearing, because it is hard to stop myself, but at least I have enough insight to ask you all what you think. Please help.

What kind of surgery? Permanently altering yourself on a whim sounds a bit dangerous and possibly regret worthy? What do you think?

I was thinking about getting rhinoplasty....also thinking about a tummy tuck

Sounds pretty hypo to me...and I'm hypo myself. I personally am trying to avoid my impulses as best I can, and suggest you do the same.

My hypomanias are a lot like this too

It sounds like your mood might be elevated, yes. Can you postpone the surgeries until you are stable?

I should. It's like a fight within myself though. There's so much I feel the need to do all at once. It's hard for me to put things on the back burner. I keep thinking about the next idea and the next idea. Patience is the hardest thing for me right now. I am moving much faster than usual and definitely feel elevated.
This state of mind usually doesn't end well for me though. I don't know what the pdoc will do at this point, but I definitely notice a difference in myself. Maybe since reducing the Seroquel, it's not doing enough to prevent mania.

Seriously though don't do the surgeries, or hold on for a few months....buy some good contouring powder and a waist trainer. It's all about keeping those impulses in check. For instance, my hypo generally invovles sex and drugs and instead of cheating or snorting lines I just have sex with husband, myself, and smoke some green. Plus, I'm taking my PRN AP and klonopin to slow down.
I'm a big believer in harm reduction....obviously.

Hmmm, wherever it's heading, it doesn't sound like a good time to make big decisions.

We know how hard it is to put things on the back burner. But we also know the regret that can follow not doing so. And so do you, yes? Recognizing it is half the battle. Recognizing it in the moment? Golden. It sounds like you do (even if your pressured self doesn't want to hear it from your logical self). Trust in the waiting. The option's not going anywhere.

Trust in the waiting. That's where good decisions are.

Thank you. I'll try to listen to the ounce of logic that's left in me and hope that it won't just disappear. I've made way too many impulsive decisions in my life. You would think after driving into that brick wall over and over again that I'd be able to do something so simple: do not drive into the brick wall. But the way my mind unravels with this hypo stuff....it's hard. I did call my pdoc today and bump up my visit with her to earlier, so at least that's a step.

(((((( xRavenx ))))))

Thinking of you.


WC

Thank you, Wild Coyote.

Good for postponing the surgeries. That's some serious coin. Hope you gently land back to stability.