[scatterbrained04]

Just venting. I had a bad depression/mixed episode 5-6 years ago. Following which I sought help and was diagnosed BP2/GAD and placed on medication.

Ever since then, I've never gotten my life back. I don't experience joy or pleasure. All of my hobbies and things I enjoy went by the wayside. I find no joy in social situations. Always feel empty or on the outside looking in. Even when I am well. I might have one day once every blue moon that I feel anything. I used to do things with my son and felt close to him. No more. I am there for him, but not really THERE for him. I don't know if this is caused by medication or I'm just doomed to be like this now. I'm just stuck. I don't know what to do. Feels almost like a life not worth living.

Feel free to pipe in. Just needed to talk about it.

[seoultous]

I have been depressed and have felt nothing. Having anhedonia robbed me of the joy I have when I am around my kids who I do not see often. I also find social situations a chore. It is particularly bad in winter. So this year I started on Ritalin and I feel much more balanced and energetic.

If you are up to it, I would get your pdoc to review your medications. Sounds like you deserve to feel better than you do.

[Unrigged64072835]

I have to deal with it. I know I've lost a lot of steam with my hobbies. I can't take a stim because of my anxiety disorder. So I just go with it.

[Wild Coyote]

Have you remained depressed for the 5-6 years?
Anhedonia goes with depression.
I go through this with depression.

This could be caused, or contributed to, by a medication side-effect(s).

Do you go through periods of dissociation?

I hope you can find an answer.

You deserve to enjoy life.


WC

[HarryKovert]

Anhedonia is something that I always experience with depression and is probably the most frustrating component of the illness.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Just venting. I had a bad depression/mixed episode 5-6 years ago. Following which I sought help and was diagnosed BP2/GAD and placed on medication.

Ever since then, I've never gotten my life back. I don't experience joy or pleasure. All of my hobbies and things I enjoy went by the wayside. I find no joy in social situations. Always feel empty or on the outside looking in. Even when I am well. I might have one day once every blue moon that I feel anything. I used to do things with my son and felt close to him. No more. I am there for him, but not really THERE for him. I don't know if this is caused by medication or I'm just doomed to be like this now. I'm just stuck. I don't know what to do. Feels almost like a life not worth living.

Feel free to pipe in. Just needed to talk about it.

I'm so sorry you're having this problem. I was diagnosed with the same thing BP2/GAD several years ago and had this problem and sometimes still do. When I was put on Lithium, which I don't take now, I felt like a robot. No emotion good or bad. I have more depressed days than not and I know this sounds goofy but at the end of each day no matter what I try to write down 3 "magic moments" and on the bad days it can be anything. Some days I put down my hurricane force fan (I'm always hot) and how it felt as one. Some other days it's a little bit better. Some days it's really good like floating on my noodle in the pool in the sunshine.

I agree with one of the previous posters. Could it be your medication? Could you talk to your doc? I hope this gets better for you. I understand.

[scatterbrained04]

Well I'm thinking it's either medication OR I've continued to be maybe in mild depression and just not realized it. Either way, I guess I'll talk with pdoc when I see him on Friday. Part of me just wants to drop all my meds and try med free for awhile.

[MissCathryn]

I am the same way. It sucks. I wish there was something I could do.

Aside from my kids, my life pretty mch sucks