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#176
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Mood still fluctuating. Was up yesterday util late afternoon then tanked. Feeling flat this morning but still go up from here. Had a major bout of paranoia on Monday night. I was sure someone was going to come into the hospital and kill me. I was incredibly wound up so I was sedated. Feeling less paranoid now but still a little. Waiting to see my pdoc, it has been days since i last saw him and I want to talk discharge and other things. I hate waiting.
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() Anonymous45023, brokenwing22, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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#177
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Talked to my pdoc today over the phone, and I see her again Monday. Anxiety is high. I'm trying to just live moment to moment, but it's very hard. My mind is running a mile a minute.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Wander, Wild Coyote
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#178
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Feeling down. Don't feel like saying any more than that.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Wander, Wild Coyote
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#179
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I have been craving sweets and chocolate lately.
That is usually not a good sign.
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I traded it in for a whole 'nother world A pirate flag and an island girl |
![]() Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote
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#180
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I went out and did a little shopping with my Mom today.It was nice.I also picked up a few things for Mother`s day.When I got home I cleaned my bedroom.So all in all I had a pretty nice day today.
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#181
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What I great day, I learned new things, stood up to my boss (he's a big jerk), made a nice dinner, and...wow, I totally conquered today.
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What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? Elvis Costello |
![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() gina_re, Nammu, Wander
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#182
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Feeling so much better physically. Sometimes it lasts for weeks. I'm literally jumping for joy and I feel motivated to do my room.
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![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Nammu
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#183
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Not doing well this morning. Just want to lay in bed and cry and not go to work. My stomach is in knots and I was up and down through the night. People are calling off & coming in late. I just can't handle the stress today...
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![]() Anonymous45023, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#184
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I didn't get to hear from tara yesterday, though I knew she was safe.. she spent the afternoon at her voice lessons (she's an exilent singer, you know!)
she emailed me this morning with some lovely piano music attached to the email, and told me she had a nice time at her voice lessons I know she's trying to distract me from the thoughts of her surgery tomorrow, but it isn't working. tomorrow for me is going to be hell, knowing that she's their. I don't remember what (even if) I ate last night, but I don't feel too hungry this morning (so suppose I must have had something) no sleep again, today rewatched finding dori that movie is actually hard to watch (some of the sceens where dori is remembering what her mommy told her), because it reminds me (in a not too nice way,) that my mommy wasn't like that- mine was abusive and horrible. but it's still a good movie. very brite today, it's affecting my mood horribly (I need september/ october to hurry up) |
![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#185
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Funny you say that because the brightness of September/October makes me manicky.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ![]() Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 100 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#186
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I did not get a good night of sleep. I'm super cranky this morning because of that. And my cat....she's not helping with her current behavior. We're mad at each other now!
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![]() Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote
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#187
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Still not at work today but I managed to get up around 1 and shower and go put gas in my car. Wasn't out for long but did get out. Texted with my supervisor and she was very supportive. I need to try and get back to living my life. The depression us better today but anxiety is still there...not as bad as yesterday though. I'm going to try and work tomorrow...i said that yesterday though, but I think it's time.
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Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
![]() Anonymous45023, gina_re, Wild Coyote
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![]() scatterbrained04, Wild Coyote
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#188
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Most of my day at work I was by myself, though I had a 1pm appointment. Ugh, stress, but it's all done now. I think I completed the paperwork properly. I sure hope so.
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>< |
![]() Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote
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#189
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I tried typing something but my session timed out.
![]() I really didn't have coherent thoughts that I could express, though. Lots going on, both positive and negative. Hoping the positive isn't too far removed from happening though. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote
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#190
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Quote:
Hello there....I've had days like that. I hope it gets better. If your on meds and it's continuing call your pdoc.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
#191
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Quote:
Hello Hopeless...have you contacted your doc? I remember my depression and it was terrible. I could barely function. Don't be so hard on yourself but do reach out for help.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
![]() Wild Coyote
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#192
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Went to hospital for followup with doctor. She didn't like that my blood sugar was dropping, so she lowered my Metformin. Waited for an hour at the base pharmacy for that. Also got a referral to the neurosurgeon for the bulging discs in my back. I'm tired of having pain when I bend over but surgery might make it worse.
Had some anxiety but took my meds and felt better. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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#193
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I`m feeling a little bit anxious right now because I had to make a doctor appointment and I really hate going to the doctor.Doctor`s make me very nervous.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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#194
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Hi guys I'm up and down and all around
__________________
I traded it in for a whole 'nother world A pirate flag and an island girl |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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#195
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I went to the pdoc today and admitted that I quit my meds because of side effects. He said he appreciated my honesty and that my symptoms warrant an antipsychotic more so than a mood stabilizer like I was taking. I also told him I'm losing my insurance soon, so he said we could work out a payment plan if need be and he would try to find me cheaper meds to take. He prescribed Zyprexa and created a contingency plan with backup meds to try to hopefully ensure I become stable over the summer. The pharmacy texted me saying they're out of Zyprexa though, so I have to wait to pick it up. I think this is a step in the right direction!
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Bipolar 1 Latuda 120 mg Adderall 40 mg |
![]() Nammu, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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![]() Nammu, scatterbrained04
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#196
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Depressed since February.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Daonnachd, Nammu, rwwff, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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#197
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The day started off hard again. I still struggled to get out of bed. But I did eventually get up and move to the couch.
I saw my pdoc today. He increased my lutuda and added in Lamictal. I hope something helps soon. I don't know how much longer I can handle this depression.
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Bipolar Type 1, PTSD, GAD, Panic Disorder Meds: Lutuda 80 MG Lamictal 25 MG Welbutrin SR 100 MG twice daily Buspar 10 MG 4x daily |
![]() Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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#198
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Quote:
Hi there ---when I was in a deep depression Lamictal really helped me. I was tapered up to 400. After two years it stopped working for me so this past winter. I started a low dose of Zoloft. I've been good the whole winter. I usually get depressed after dark comes early. Good luck and take care
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#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
![]() Wild Coyote
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#199
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My day was ok. I relaxed around my place. I talked on the phone with a distant relative--it was nice
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
![]() Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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#200
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Im not exactly sure how I feel.
Physically feeling some pain which is a bummer. Mentally I am so so. Not crazy depressed but not completely okay either. Went to support group meeting which I think helped some. Planning to go to a concert tomorrow. I'm trying to get out of the house and do things more even if I don't really want to. So I'm trying. Hanging in there. Still here. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote
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