[Usagi3]

I had a diagnosis of Bipolar I with several mixed episodes for 8 years, my personality disorder(BPD) has been ruled out to be PTSD (I always knew I had PTSD Not BPD I have flashbacks and nightmares a lot) Now since I've been medicated for two years my diagnosis has changed to something very odd on top of my anxiety disorders (PTSD and GAD), I have two mood disorders that rarely ever occur together unipolar and bipolar depression and bipolar mania (Bipolar NOS and Dysthymic Disorder). Now my mania used to be very bad while younger therefore the BDI diagnosis, I've calmed down a little bit I'm almost hitting my 30's. Now I know I am manic and depressed a lot at the same time but I don't consider myself bipolar anymore more like semi-bipolar I consider the subthreshold diagnosis to be kind of like bronchitis compared to COPD. I feel like if I wasn't on my meds I'd regress back to a BPI diagnosis, I always live in fear that my bipolar will get worse and I will screw up my life again like I did as a kid (18-25). Now the hardest thing to deal with is the depression I'm going to be talking to my doctor about this, this depression is crippling I've never been this depressed add my mania to this and I'm sick to my stomach angry nervous irritable I can't be around people not to mention my anxiety. Now I know there is such thing double depression with severe depression and the chronic depression I already have, but how can I try to cope with chronic depression with bipolar symptoms?! I feel like I've fallen into concrete it's so hard to move around and get anything done. On top of that my mind feels like a fly darting off the walls. I cry a lot this is very painful and I've gone through so many medications God knows when they will finally come out with one that will help me. How do I deal with such a bizarre and rare diagnosis of mood disorders? Have any of you been diagnosed with two very different forms of depression at once? Any advice is highly appreciated.
Thankyou

[fishin fool]

If you have bipolar1 or bipolar2, depression is a part of the bipolar, it is
not a separate issue. Lots of people say they have depression and bipolar but
if you have bipolar the depression is a given. It is also very common to have
bipolar along with GAD or ADHD. I have bipolar2, ADHD, and GAD.
My understanding is that this is not uncommon at all.
I am not sure about you not considering yourself bipolar any longer, it doesn't
just go away you always have it but you do your best to keep under control.
It could be that you are dealing with rapid cycling bipolar.
I cycle rapidly, sometimes within the same day sometimes in less time than that.
It can make you feel physically sick at times, it is hard on the mind and the body.
I am not sure if anything I said helps but I hope you can take something from it.
I hope you get it sorted out soon.

hello and welcome to PC.

hope it helps you

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. It sounds like you're having a miserable time. Can you talk to your therapist or pdoc about this to maybe get it straightened out?

[Cocosurviving]

Hello there and welcome. There are books listed on this site that can explain more about bipolar one and two. The condition can go in remission but Fishin Fool is correct it does not go away. I have stability now but I still have bipolar one and it does flare up. Symptoms come and episodes happen. Consider a support group too. There is a thread on accepting bipolar diagnoses in this forum. Good luck

[Usagi3]

Thankyou for your support, I have had mixed Bipolar a lot throughout my young life (I'm 28). Now I am a Bipolar NOS diagnosis though I was previously diagnosed Bipolar I maybe you are right and I'm going into remission and I still have the BPI but it appears as Bipolar NOS because I am medicated on stuff that kind of works. I've been manic for awhile but now I am depressed with a capital D. I've been so productive while manic (I always put my mania to what I believe is good use). But recently I've been so depressed I quit my job because I am so embarresed I can't concentrate and I forgot normal basic things that I always remembered before. The depression is not only terrifyingly sad and crippling it's partnered with common colds ear infections migraine headaches I just feel miserable.Also this might be off topic I have terrifying dreams of Zombies and everyone but me dying becoming a Zombie kind of like Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil, but it's terrifying I wake up in cold sweats. I need to talk to my doctor ASAP I'm going to call tomorrow or the day after but how do we cope with almost traumatic depression?

[Wild Coyote]

Please do call your doctor.

We deal with traumatic depressions by taking it one step at a time and staying safe. We need all of the support we can get. Do you see a T and/or participate in a group?

Please take excellent care.


WC

[Cocosurviving]

I had to work hard at accepting my bipolar 1 diagnosis. I went to therapy and it took me a year to accept it. Then I was so depressed in the fall and winter. I would think about all that I had lost. I continued therapy to work on that. And I learned it was nothing I did to deserve this illness. I have remission as long as I'm on meds. I have not been in the hospital since 2014. But I still have bipolar one. I'm just stable because of meds and hard work. I also went to support groups (IRL). It was so helpful to see and hear others with the same struggles. For my depression I was put on Lamictal. Then two years later it was not helping so we changed to Zoloft. I only take a low dosage bc some antidepressants make me manic