[lacerta]

Last month I weaned off fluanxol. I think it kept my libido low. My husband is not into sex, so we have been having it once a month or so.
Now last 3 days I've been having that very high sexual drive. My husband is out of house for work travel in these days and I'm going mad. I've registered in meeting page and having sex chats with a couple of man. One man is asking me out for sex and I'm really tempted to go. Now I'm really scared. One side of me says I should go forward as my buddy does not fill my sexual needs, he often rejects me sexually. Other side says I'd get caught sooner and later and ruin my life. My mind is so unclear and I feel so agitated I can't think, please help me out.

[Naynay99]

Hey. I'm Not sure exactly what you are looking for here. You already know it is a bad idea. Nobody on a support forum is going to say that yes you should cheat on your husband, so I am going to guess that you posted this looking for someone to talk you out of it?? If so- Don't do it!

I Dont know if this is illness or medication related. Maybe. Hypomania can cause hypersexuality, Some medications can kill sex drive. But an Unsatisfying relationship can also cause people to look for it elsewhere, and that has nothing to do with having an illness.

I'm sorry you are not getting the affection you need or deserve from your husband. That sucks. But hooking up with a stranger is risky and can have some pretty big possible consequences. And In my opinion, a random hookup with a stranger isn't even usually very good sex. I cheated on a boyfriend once and even while it was happening I already hated myself. Not worth it.

Whatever you decide- Be safe.
If you think this is a symptom and your thinking and mood is heading into dangerous territory,, call your pdoc or therapist asap. Best of luck.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Naynay99

Hey. I'm Not sure exactly what you are looking for here. You already know it is a bad idea. Nobody on a support forum is going to say that yes you should cheat on your husband, so I am going to guess that you posted this looking for someone to talk you out of it?? If so- Don't do it!

I Dont know if this is illness or medication related. Maybe. Hypomania can cause hypersexuality, Some medications can kill sex drive. But an Unsatisfying relationship can also cause people to look for it elsewhere, and that has nothing to do with having an illness.

I'm sorry you are not getting the affection you need or deserve from your husband. That sucks. But hooking up with a stranger is risky and can have some pretty big possible consequences. And In my opinion, a random hookup with a stranger isn't even usually very good sex. I cheated on a boyfriend once and even while it was happening I already hated myself. Not worth it.

Whatever you decide- Be safe.
If you think this is a symptom and your thinking and mood is heading into dangerous territory,, call your pdoc or therapist asap. Best of luck.

Excellent advice.

[lacerta]

I'm not sure what I want, but I have that gut feeling something is spiralling out of normal, so I just need some support, I guess.

I needed to hear that it's not safe and it might not be what I expected. Thanks for that. I have no previous experience in this so I guess I idealise of what may happen.

I'm scared to even think of that it might be a symptom of hypo, well I know it might, but I want to hear assertion that it's not in my case I was so happy to be stable for quite a long time so that p-doc decided to cut down my meds. Going back would feel such a failure. I'm puzzled.

I guess I need someone to say that it's just a phase and it'll go, hold in there.

[jacky8807]

the problem is....it MAY just be a phase (hypo what have you) and if so you WILL pull through my friend. Hang in there

However if you are unhappy sexually in your marriage it may NOT be a phase. It does not have to be hypo to want to connect to someone sexually when you are having issues with this at home. Hopefully it is something you can work on with your husband.

[Moose72]

I don't know what else I can add except really good sex takes more than hormones: it takes communication, patience, and practice. (I mean years!). What you'll get with someone you don't know is cold and calculating and will leave you feeling empty. I say all this from experience. And love for you as a friend.

[scatterbrained04]

Sounds like a really bad idea...I wouldn't do it. Maybe satisfy yourself for now and then talk to hubby when he comes back.

[mctone]

Warning - I'm going to use the "m" word... haha Masturbation is not the terrible thing that people want to make it. It's not as gratifying as "the real thing" but it can help. Also, having an extra-marital affair is never a good idea, and "hooking up" with a stranger has so many dangers associated with it that it should not even be an option! I strongly recommend that you don't do that! If I could say it any more strongly, I would, but I don't want to appear to be yelling... but don't even consider doing that.

Next, I would recommend marriage counseling. Seeking help in marriage is nothing to be ashamed of, and can be very beneficial. None of us is perfect, and none of us has all the answers to the questions we have. Professional counselors have studied for many years to be able to guide us through all the difficulties that come with two people living their lives as one. No two people are alike, so merging two lives together will always (ALWAYS) bring difficulties that need to be met with honesty, and overcome, in order to have a happy life together. There will always be "give and take" in a relationship, and sexuality is one of the ares that can be very different between two people, and can often be one of those areas where we need the most help, but unfortunately, one of those areas that we find difficult to discuss with others - even our own spouses, not to mention a counselor. But help is out there, definitely seek it out! You CAN get through this, and we're all here to support you, and encourage you to make good decisions! Reach out to those on here whom you feel comfortable with.

[Victoria'smom]

don't do it.

[Nammu]

Buy sex toys and take care of your libidos that way, not by cheating on your husband

[Trippin2.0]

Being ill is not an excuse to cheat.

[5150DirtDiva]

The only thing I can add is that maybe you should call your doc, for me this type of behavior and thoughts are a sure sign I am manic.

Do not do it. You will regret it immensely. Take that from someone who has been down that road before. It always seems like a good idea or a fun risk to take but it isn't fun and games when it is over.

[IntentOnHealing]

It's just a phase and it's go. Hold on there.



Also, you said you have a gut feeling that something is spiraling out of normal. Please listen to your gut and call your pdoc. That said, since when is needing medication (or more medication or a different medication) when you have bipolar disorder a failure? Your body just needs what it needs, medically.

If you do cheat, everything everyone else has said applies. To help you not cheat, everything everyone else has said applies.

I'm just glad you have the sense to ask! Now will you have the sense to listen? I hope so! I would hate to see you suffer the consequences--lost friends, hurt and hardship, feelings of self-loathing, your own broken heart, etc.

I asked my son last night, "Are you able to learn from other's mistakes?" and was relieved when he said, "Yes." If you can too, please listen to all of us when we say you will regret it, it's not worth it, now please go and take care of business by "taking matters into your own hands," if you know what I mean...put plainly, "go masturbate" if you don't.

[lacerta]

I didn't go out dating. Thanks guys. I'm so disgusted with myself anyway for having such ideations. It's so scary to have thoughts that feel real and true and then you find out it's just ... not. Thank you all for being tolerant and supportive!

[glowsinthedark]

don't do it! it's not okay to cheat even if you feel rejected or dissatisfied (i have cheated and been cheated on and it's just the worst!). sounds like you and your husband need to have a real good talk about the state of your sex life and figure something out - maybe counseling, maybe a more open marriage, i don't know...anything that doesn't involve actions you'll surely regret

[mctone]

Originally Posted by lacerta

I didn't go out dating. Thanks guys. I'm so disgusted with myself anyway for having such ideations. It's so scary to have thoughts that feel real and true and then you find out it's just ... not. Thank you all for being tolerant and supportive!

We're all (I'm certain) applauding you right at this very moment... standing ovation!

And remember, we're all human, and we all have thoughts of doing things from time to time that we shouldn't do. It's not the fact that these things entered your mind - what really matters is what you did with those thoughts, and you definitely did the right thing!