Bipolar date

So I've been speaking to someone with bipolar for a couple of months now and it all started out great. He's message me constantly- i was surprised by that- and it was all great. i found him to be very sexual, sometimes a bit too much and little little things he's say and do were nnsensical but i brushed it under the carpet presuming he was just drunk texting. He told me he loved me and i started falling for him too...not knowing that he was bipolar and perhaps going through a manic episode due to being awake so late, hypersexuality, nonsensical messages as well as that.

so we were supposed to meet but he made excuses for not doing so and last minute he changed his mind. anyway, this lead into an argument and we hadnt spoken properly in two months and he'd read my messages, ignore and reply two weeks later. He revealed to me that he was bipolar and needed time to think etc, possibly explaining why he went quiet?

I saw that during our break, his dating profile had been slightly altered so he's obviously been on there- despite arguing with me when i was seeing other people before we were officially dating beforehand. we are starting to talk again and even though he said he couldnt see anything with me, he's back to flirting with me, saying thay he's happy i'm, in his life and being sexual again- so i'm presuming he is having episodes of mania again. he texted me the other day saying he would be there for me and wont disappear and he's done just that. he messages really late and the last time he did, he told me he was drunk and started saying that he's happy im in his life. he still wont give an answer for us meeting though.

is his mania in love with me and is he in his 'normal' state when he isnt talking to me? he's on his phone, i know that much for sure but why does he run hot and cold. he said he's scared to message me and he was scared to meet me when he bailed. i always message him so i dont understand why he said he was scared to.

what do i do, i lost so much sleep over him and i cried so much over him. he does mean a lot to me!

king regards x

I'm sorry, there's no way of telling what's going on with him.
Some of what you see may be attributed to bipolar, some is clearly not.

My advice: Hold the very same expectations you'd have of any guy you get involved with. No special breaks because he has said he lives with bipolar illness. What type of a man are you looking for? What type of behavior are you expecting/hoping for? Is he meeting your expectations?

Good luck to you while you search for a love that treats you right. No excuses.


WC

I agree with Wild Coyote. Bad behavior is too often blamed on Bipolar. There are many bipolar people who won't mess with your feelings and give you the run around. Just because he is bipolar doesn't mean that's the reasons for his actions.

Ask yourself, do you want to be in a relationship with someone who just meets you halfway? This isn't a bipolar question this is a relationship question.

Good luck to you!

I'm a man with Bipolar, and I have extreme hyper-sexuality amongst other issues. Unfortunately, prior to my diagnosis and subsequent treatment, this aspect of the illness made me a rather unpleasant person, a dreadful husband and I behaved in inexcusable ways. I cannot excuse the Behaviour with Bipolar, but it does explain it. When I'm euthymic (stable) I probably have a lower than normal sex drive, and I wouldn't entertain the idea of so much as looking at another woman, I'm more interested in cars and boats!
My honest advice would be to be very wary about entering a relationship with someone who has what appears to be unmanaged hyper-sexuality. Relationships and hyper-sexuality are, ironically, not good bed mates.
A side aspect of the illness is something I've heard referred to as 'Bipolar charm', and if hypomanic, one can become very charming and seductive which is dangerous. To my great shame, I have had several women fall in love with me when I've been in a hypomanic and hyper-sexual state. I had no interest in a relationship, and my behaviour probably resulted in them feeling how you do now.
Talk to him about his illness and try to understand how it manifests itself. Do you know if he has been diagnosed as having the illness, or if it's just his suspicion? As Wild Coyote and Ladyshadow say, it may not all be Bipolar, it may sadly be that he's a bit of a jerk when it comes to women's feelings.
I wish you every luck with it, it sounds like you deserve some happiness. And for what it's worth, now I'm diagnosed and medicated, the hyper-sexual, hypomanic states have gone and I'm a much nicer person for it, so there is hope, but one has to want to address the issues, and it sounds like this chap might not be at that stage.

What he said. I might also add if he is getting drunk often that usually means he is not on meds.

I missed the drinking bit when I read it. Yep, that's a big no no with meds. You make that mistake once whilst on meds, and then when you have recovered from the most painful hangover of your life you realise that life is perfectly good without the alcohol.