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#1
May 09, 2017, 09:11 PM
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I sent my pdoc a rational email with a routine update to our appt this thurs. I followed it up with this nonsense:
Also...and this is the part of the email that has not been edited by my mother my mom so please don't tell her I am sending this part But I am out of my mind. Like 15 kinds of crazy. Breathing delusions in and out and an altogether manic lunatic *****. I want to ditch my meds I Could spew them from my stomach. Whew! Seriously how ignorant can one person be? I actually have to see this person on Thurs. I am such an embarrassment. Sorry to have been blowing up the boards lately btw...things have been rough.
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
 Anonymous59125, BipolaRNurse, gina_re, HALLIEBETH87, jacky8807, Naynay99, unaluna, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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#2
May 09, 2017, 09:13 PM
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You did nothing wrong or abnormal. You are supposed to tell your pdoc how you feel and what you are experiencing or they can't help you. You did the right thing. Really.
Also, you can post as much as you need to; you know that nobody is bothered by that. And I don't think you are posting that much anyway.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
| Wild Coyote
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 cashart10, gina_re, unaluna
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#3
May 09, 2017, 09:30 PM
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Quote:
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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#4
May 09, 2017, 09:33 PM
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It's good you sent that even if it is embarrassing. 6ou need to be as honest as you can with everyone on your treatment team.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| Wild Coyote
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| cashart10
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#5
May 09, 2017, 09:42 PM
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I also think it's good you sent that, even though I can understand feeling self conscious afterwards. It's hard to let on how we are really feeling.
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dx: schizoaffective bipolar type; OCD; GAD rx: clozapine, clonazepam PRN |
| cashart10
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#6
May 09, 2017, 10:15 PM
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I don't think you are an idiot at all....just unwell. I sent my doctor some strange emails recently too I think. Lots of emails compared to my normal which is very few. It's embarrassing but I'm sure I'm far from his only patient to do this and I doubt my email is the strangest he's gotten by a long shot. Don't worry, your doc has seen it all I bet. You are just unwell, not stupid. (((Hugs)))
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| Wild Coyote
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| cashart10
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#7
May 09, 2017, 10:57 PM
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I don't want to sound trite or inconsiderate........but laugh it off. It was funny......"spew" from your stomach? That's straight gold! And nothing you probably wouldn't have said in person anyway. I once told my p-doc I was afraid I was going to end up in jail because I was "ready to knock someone's block off". I'm sure that raised a red flag or two.
In the annals of crooked verbiage, we're on the low end of the scale. Remember when Joe Namath was on TV and he said "I wanna kisssssshhhh you" to a reporter. Now that was embarrassing. In short, don't take it too seriously. To me, it was a standard rant that anyone could have penned. |
| cashart10
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#8
May 09, 2017, 11:13 PM
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If it helps at all, once my pdoc was going to be at the same place where I was seeing my therapist but she didn't have time to see me. I was really, really manic. She told me to write down how I was doing. I wound up scrawling this 2 page thing but my thoughts were racing so much that it was full of arrows pointing to illegible notations in the margins, so many they were overlapping.
Nobody was happy with this for some reason and I wound up on more meds..........I'd forgotten all about it until something reminded me the other day. At the time I was too manic to understand why anyone was bothered by it but later I realized what I had asked her to read and was so embarrassed.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
| Wild Coyote
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| cashart10
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#9
May 09, 2017, 11:14 PM
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You did nothing wrong.
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The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
| cashart10
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#10
May 10, 2017, 07:31 AM
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We are here to support one another through the tough times.
It's all just fine.  WC |
| cashart10, jacky8807
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#11
May 10, 2017, 07:42 AM
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it's good for them to get true insight into what you are going through.
you are not alone in this trust me. I would have many cringeworthy stories if my pdoc actually did email just put it that way  keep posting
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| cashart10
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#12
May 10, 2017, 07:59 AM
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I support you being open and honest on how you are feeling with your doctor. It can be difficult, regardless of what you are going through, to share your true feelings on a subject.
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| cashart10
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#13
May 10, 2017, 09:10 AM
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I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Please don't be embarrassed. Your pdoc needs to know how you're doing. Your email will be helpful. As Wild Coyote said we are all here to support each other. It doesn't matter how much you post. I hope you start feel better soon. Thinking of you....
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| cashart10
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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