[piano97]

I've been on it for 6 or 7 months, 10mg. AFter gaining 20 pounds and barely being able to socialize anymore because I can't keep up with multiple conversations and my brain is in a haze I decided I am going off it. I told my doctor (at that point I had already cut it from 10 to 5mg) and he wasn't real keen on the idea and said "you have to take something". I said it's a good PRN but it's ruining my life. Anyway so at even the 10 to 5 cut I had extreme mood lability and found myself furious at everyone and everything. I told one of my best friends to **** off, my mom came to visit and I could not even be in the same room with her because I was about to explode. I started taking klonopin PRN again (daily). I had come off of klonopin a few months prior (and used prn zyprexa to help with that). It helped some and I did balance out some. I moved forward with the taper and went to 2.5 or close to (cutting a 10mg in half, in half). I've mostly been in a rage more often than not since. Which only makes me more pissed off. I didn't take it at all last night. I had violent dreams and when I woke up I started screaming that I basically hate everyone. I was fixated on my father which has happened a few times lately and I basically was screaming I ****ing hate you and am never talking to you again. There are some decent reasons for my frustration with him but it's not me at all to be like this. I'm a very calm and reasonable kind of guy. THis is not me at all, it's zyprexa withdrawal, and this is total ******** to have these symptoms coming off it. This is not 'a return of symptoms' as modern psychiatry would say. It's withdrawal and it's nasty. This is why I wanted off of it to begin with, because I was not comfortable with what it's doing to my mind and body. The final straw was MD saying "would you want to take metformin" for the weight gain. NOPE. I'm not taking meds for side effects from other meds. That is completely riduculous. I want my life back is what I want. And this is not it. Yes, I had a manic episode last summer that did a major number on me and took months and months to heal from and in general I've had a hard time functioning period since I had a meltdown about 3 years ago. I've lost two jobs, I'm on SSDI now, my income is less than twenty-five percent what it used to be. It's maddening. I was in school full-time alongside work, and doing great at both, when I got sick. It's just incredibly frustrating and I want this to end but am now resigned to the fact that this may only be the beginning of true withdrawal since I stopped completely last night. Maybe I'm wrong. I hope. So what are my options? Dope myself up with Klonopin till it passes? My experience with klonopin is that if I take it several days in a row PRN, I then have withdrawal syptoms from stopping it and it messes with my sleep. And I already got off of klonopin. I want off everything period though I'm much much less concerned with lamictal and trileptal. SO to recap, I feel like I want to destroy my house and the intensity of this has gotten worse and worse the last couple days. This is not me. This is medication withdrawal and it's total ********. Sorry for the cursing. And I mostly just needed to get this out so thanks for reading and I'm ALL EARS if anyone has any guidance, etc. Thanks.

[Sunflower123]

I don't have any advice but there are others on here I know who have tried to cut down on Zyprexa in the past and they'll have good advice. I'm sorry you're having such a horrible time and that your doctor isn't being more supportive or helpful. Just wanted to lend you my support as you go through this. Thinking of you....

[piano97]

Thank you for the support and thoughts Jennifer

[Victoria'smom]

I'd call your dr. and explain what's going on.

[piano97]

That seems like a lost cause at this point. He'll just say to take it again or to take something else. We went over other options at last appointment, which were risperdal (already have been on it and bad side effects) abilify (he said this would be too stimulating for me and might cause mania) and latuda (which he said he honestly doesn't think it works well from his experience). Which leaves zyprexa. And I'm done with it. This will pass with time, everything does, but it's maddening at the moment.

[Moose72]

In my experience you have to wean off very slowly! Otherwise the withdrawal symptoms are horrible. I'm still weaning off after 5 months.

[piano97]

What has your dosing schedule been like?

I started taper a little over 3 weeks ago. I've looked back today and it looks like I went to 2.5 about 10 days ago. (And zero last night).

I feel like a mess but am keeping faith it will end. I'm not really able to do other therapies right now but I think a little more time and I'll be able to exercise, cook, sociale more, etc.

I want off Trileptal too, it's not everyday but I get blurry vision after the morning dose. Doctor said to back off of it but didn't really say to stop it. I have lower dosages I can take but I also think 2 mood stabilizers is a lot better than one. Lamictal I have no interest in changing and am cool with it.

At the moment the rage is gone and I know this is cycling and that it will come back based on the past week and today in that I've went from big rage to empty to big rage to settled out some with side effect of the blurry vision.

The biggest thing that is frustrating is it feels like no one understands (this board always helps A LOT) even though I know it's not fully true. Example on the blurry vision my friend the other day said it was dry eyes and to use eye drops and I almost exploded on her. This is the same friend that awhile back told me her mood was 'hypomanic', I think trying to identify with me but it actually enraged me and I'm still pissed off about it this week. No one without bipolar has the slightest idea what hypo is like, let alone mania or the cycling unless they've been through it. I'm ranting now sorry. Thanks for listening. Do tell me what your taper has been like.

[piano97]

I wanted to update this from a couple days ago. I didn't take it again last night. Barely slept and have felt like I was dying today. I'm serious not being dramatic. Screaming and rage, feels like I have the flu, awful headache, sweating. This is way worse than a couple days ago. I thought I knew what I was doing and I didn't. I gave up and took a small dose a little bit ago with prn klonopin. I think it will help and I agree to take it scheduled at night again. I think I will do 5mg instead of 10 so I guess I made some progress. DO NOT STOP TAKING ZYPREXA without at least switching to another AP at same time. I thought I did everything right with my taper. I had read horror stories and most said day 3 or 4 was when it hit them. I thought they were being over dramatic. Nope. I will update this in a day or two. Thanks,

Well I don't come bearing good news but....I was put on 15 mgs for sleep and as my ap. I gained 40 lbs in 9 months, I couldn't stay on it. The pdoc I had wouldn't take me off it so I got a new pdoc. I'm now on trazadone for sleep and I'm down to 2.5 mgs of zyprexa. I lost the 40 lbs but every time I don't take it, after about 2 days I can't sleep and I get really paranoid. So I've decided to just stay on the 2.5.
I hope you're able to come off it.

[piano97]

It's 3 or 3.5 hours later and I am already improving. That was really stupid of me.

[wildflowerchild25]

I don't think it was stupid. You can't know until you try. Now you know. And maybe you'll be able to taper off eventually st a much slower pace. Try not to be too hard on yourself. I'm glad you feel better!

[piano97]

Thanks WildFlower. I tend to beat myself up. I feel SO much better today. I woke up every couple hours last night but still got about 8.

[piano97]

I took 5 of zyprexa last night with the aim of balancing me out. I don't have the severe rage today at all, instead I feel numb and empty, like there is a glass wall between me and the world. This is why I wanted off it in the first place. Very frustrating.