[Slightlydelusional]

So about two months ago I decided to clean up by getting back on meds, stop two addictions and try to grow up a bit.

Ive been able to get back to work 50% of the time, taking meds that have worked in the past (Lithium and Lamictal), and Ive started to go to gamblers anonymous which Im enjoying and lowered my weed smoking by 90%.

Stopping gambling is easy as Im broke and I frigging hate it now as my losses have been so massive and so idiotic, but I need to address it, as it can rear its head down the road.

I havent smoked weed for two days and want to make a good run to get it out of my system as want to apply for new jobs and also sick of wasting money and brain cells on it.

Im still depressed, but not a zombie like I have been the last six weeks. Im more of like in FML mode as I literally have no life.

While Im getting better, I have two new problems in my car having huge issues. I put 1000 into a repair two weeks ago, which I had to borrow for and now yesterday something is wrong with it again and need to take back to shop. Also having a medical issue that is not related to mental issues that is making me lose work and sleep. I probably have to surgery on my bent as hell nose to alleviate serious throat and saliva issue.

I know life is about problems, but FFS Im trying to get better, but the two problems I have are making the address of my mental problems so much harder and I have to work as now floundering more into debt.

[Sunflower123]

Congratulations on the positive changes you've made!!! That's incredible!! The problems you mentioned are vexing and stressful but they are a temporary setback. Keep plugging away. I hope things smooth out for you soon. Best wishes.

[Wild Coyote]

Nice job!
You have a lot to deal with.
Give it all time.

WC

[hopeless2015]

Congrats your taking on a lot at once, try to be kind to yourself and see all the positives if you can...i know its easier said than done. I to have a gambling addiction so I feel you on that...

[rewrite05]

I'm right here with you, just starting back on meds, giving up alcohol and weed as I may have lost my job over my last bipolar outburst and need to get something decent in the future.

It sucks, it always seems like when you try to get yourself together the whole world is against you. I just try to keep doing the good things and remember that my problems weren't created in one day, there are somethings I can do to help and some situations where I'm powerless to change it.

Just focus your energy on what you can do to improve your situation and keep a lookout for opportunities to make the other issues better. I know, it's scary, I'm scared as hell. I'm one bad day away from losing everything I was trying to build, and a lot of folks are. I just do my best to not let the fear paralyze me into doing nothing or worse, moving backwards.

[Slightlydelusional]

Thanks everyone for the kind words and encouragement!

My new car repair is 800 which I have to borrow again. I cant do anything about it, but take a few days off work to wait and get back at it. I did have a nice 4 mile walk home by the weed store and did not crumble. I also had great energy for the walk which I feel leads me to believe the meds are working as I had no energy for all of May and half of June.

I will keep on pushing forward. My next step is to deal with my nose. I have a deviated septum and I breath with my mouth open when I sleep which causes a lot of problems. Ive put it off for years but cant take it anymore. I think I dealt with it before by smoking massive amounts of weed to make me pass out and now Im sober and sleep is not as easy.

I guess I will embrace one day at a time and if not in addiction its a good day!

[Unrigged64072835]

That's great that you're working on getting better. While the bills suck they're temporary things and eventually will pass. Best of luck with getting nose surgery. I don't have a deviated septum but my nose runs all the time (they even have a fancy name for it: vasomotor rhinitis) so sleeping with a CPAP mask is always fun.