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  #1  
Old Jun 22, 2017, 10:44 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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I'm trying to be well. Trying to be happy and at peace but I'm not.

At the same time I'm waiting to hear if I got the job-I am also under Ssdi review (just happened to show up at the same time) AND Im losing my t I'm really close to. I'm anxious and sick 24/7. Threw up earlier. I'm trying to be ok and be there for those I care about but I'm just really struggling. I didn't even tel my t today how much I'm struggling. Things are so uncertain and scary right now and I'm filled with self-doubt and dread. The music is back circling in my head on a loop-so annoying. I can't sleep or I sleep too much. I panic. I'm sick with anxiety and life in general.
I really don't want a new t.
I just wanna run away from life.
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  #2  
Old Jun 22, 2017, 11:42 PM
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Blaire Blaire is offline
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I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. I hope you can get some relief from the stress soon, maybe a new T would find new ways to help you.
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  #3  
Old Jun 23, 2017, 06:43 AM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 View Post
I'm trying to be well. Trying to be happy and at peace but I'm not.

At the same time I'm waiting to hear if I got the job-I am also under Ssdi review (just happened to show up at the same time) AND Im losing my t I'm really close to. I'm anxious and sick 24/7. Threw up earlier. I'm trying to be ok and be there for those I care about but I'm just really struggling. I didn't even tel my t today how much I'm struggling. Things are so uncertain and scary right now and I'm filled with self-doubt and dread. The music is back circling in my head on a loop-so annoying. I can't sleep or I sleep too much. I panic. I'm sick with anxiety and life in general.
I really don't want a new t.
I just wanna run away from life.
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. It all sounds nerve racking to me. I hope you hear soon about your job. The SSDI review will go smoothly and I hope you find a therapist who you really click with. Take a deep breath and take one step at a time. Hang in there. Hope you start feeling better soon. Best wishes.
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  #4  
Old Jun 23, 2017, 08:18 AM
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Wild Coyote Wild Coyote is offline
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Changes can be very unsettling, even when the changes are considered for the best. These changes are stressful for you and also involve a significant loss, your therapist.

Do you feel you can get through the change in therapists without destabilizing?

I think this would have been/would be a great topic for you to discuss with your T, as it's the loss of her you are/will be grieving.

My pdoc is also my therapist and I do not know what I'd do without him right now. I'd be lost. When we do part ways, there will be some major grieving. I'll probably be very frightened of that change when it comes about. It makes me anxious to think of it now.

Many of us are very attached to our therapists. It will take time to adjust. In the meantime, you'll experience lots of feelings.

(((((( HALLIEBETH ))))))

Be gentle with yourself.


WC
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  #5  
Old Jun 23, 2017, 11:51 AM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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I finally just took Ativan last night and slept. I feel a lot calmer now. I feel like I will almost just be relieved if I don't even get the job even though I do want it.

I'm pretty attached to my therapist and sad I'm losing her. She knows. It's required I see a t if I want to see my pdoc so I will have to see a new t. Unfortunately-since I have Medicare there is only one other t I can see. :/ hopefully I like her, huh?

Hopefully today will go better.
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haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
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  #6  
Old Jun 23, 2017, 12:24 PM
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Hopefully today is better.
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  #7  
Old Jun 23, 2017, 02:28 PM
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BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
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Thinking of you (as is my kitten who won't let me move enough to press send )
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  #8  
Old Jun 23, 2017, 03:32 PM
Unrigged64072835 Unrigged64072835 is offline
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Waiting is such a bear at times. Uncertainty sucks.

Hope you get the answers soon.

Thanks for this!
HALLIEBETH87
  #9  
Old Jun 23, 2017, 04:52 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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No call. I didn't get the job or she was just too busy to call this week
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haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
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  #10  
Old Jun 23, 2017, 08:18 PM
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Blaire Blaire is offline
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I'm so sorry you didn't get a resolution this week. It's hard to tolerate the hard feelings that come with waiting. I hope you are doing ok.
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  #11  
Old Jun 23, 2017, 09:02 PM
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I'm so sorry. I'd wait until next Friday and then call to inquire if you weren't hired.
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  #12  
Old Jun 23, 2017, 09:21 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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I'm a bit calmer today. Ativan helps.
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety d/o

haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
  #13  
Old Jun 23, 2017, 09:28 PM
Anonymous55397
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Sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. Ativan helps me too. Just try to be proud of the progress that you have made thus far, and be gentle to yourself on the tougher days.
Thanks for this!
HALLIEBETH87
  #14  
Old Jun 23, 2017, 11:56 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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Argh! No sleep again tonight it seems
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schizoaffective bipolar type
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generalized anxiety d/o

haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
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  #15  
Old Jun 24, 2017, 12:10 AM
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Hopefully sleep will come. Do you have any PRN's?
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Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
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  #16  
Old Jun 24, 2017, 01:33 AM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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I have Ativan but I have to get up early :/
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety d/o

haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
Hugs from:
Anonymous49071, Victoria'smom, Wild Coyote
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