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#1
Jun 22, 2017, 10:44 PM
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I'm trying to be well. Trying to be happy and at peace but I'm not.
At the same time I'm waiting to hear if I got the job-I am also under Ssdi review (just happened to show up at the same time) AND Im losing my t I'm really close to. I'm anxious and sick 24/7. Threw up earlier. I'm trying to be ok and be there for those I care about but I'm just really struggling. I didn't even tel my t today how much I'm struggling. Things are so uncertain and scary right now and I'm filled with self-doubt and dread. The music is back circling in my head on a loop-so annoying. I can't sleep or I sleep too much. I panic. I'm sick with anxiety and life in general. I really don't want a new t. I just wanna run away from life.
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
 Anonymous45023, Anonymous49071, Anonymous55397, liveforsummer, Nammu, still_crazy, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wander, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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#2
Jun 22, 2017, 11:42 PM
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I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. I hope you can get some relief from the stress soon, maybe a new T would find new ways to help you.
__________________
▽VII△VIII |
 HALLIEBETH87
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#3
Jun 23, 2017, 06:43 AM
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Quote:
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| Wild Coyote
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| HALLIEBETH87
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#4
Jun 23, 2017, 08:18 AM
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Changes can be very unsettling, even when the changes are considered for the best. These changes are stressful for you and also involve a significant loss, your therapist.
Do you feel you can get through the change in therapists without destabilizing? I think this would have been/would be a great topic for you to discuss with your T, as it's the loss of her you are/will be grieving. My pdoc is also my therapist and I do not know what I'd do without him right now. I'd be lost. When we do part ways, there will be some major grieving. I'll probably be very frightened of that change when it comes about. It makes me anxious to think of it now. Many of us are very attached to our therapists. It will take time to adjust. In the meantime, you'll experience lots of feelings.   (((((( HALLIEBETH )))))) Be gentle with yourself. WC |
| HALLIEBETH87
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#5
Jun 23, 2017, 11:51 AM
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I finally just took Ativan last night and slept. I feel a lot calmer now. I feel like I will almost just be relieved if I don't even get the job even though I do want it.
I'm pretty attached to my therapist and sad I'm losing her. She knows. It's required I see a t if I want to see my pdoc so I will have to see a new t. Unfortunately-since I have Medicare there is only one other t I can see. :/ hopefully I like her, huh? Hopefully today will go better.
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| Anonymous49071, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#6
Jun 23, 2017, 12:24 PM
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Hopefully today is better.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| HALLIEBETH87
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#7
Jun 23, 2017, 02:28 PM
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Thinking of you (as is my kitten who won't let me move enough to press send
 )
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
| HALLIEBETH87
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#8
Jun 23, 2017, 03:32 PM
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Waiting is such a bear at times. Uncertainty sucks.
Hope you get the answers soon.
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| HALLIEBETH87
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#9
Jun 23, 2017, 04:52 PM
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No call. I didn't get the job or she was just too busy to call this week
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| Anonymous49071, rwwff, Wild Coyote
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#10
Jun 23, 2017, 08:18 PM
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I'm so sorry you didn't get a resolution this week. It's hard to tolerate the hard feelings that come with waiting. I hope you are doing ok.
__________________
▽VII△VIII |
| HALLIEBETH87
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#11
Jun 23, 2017, 09:02 PM
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I'm so sorry. I'd wait until next Friday and then call to inquire if you weren't hired.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| HALLIEBETH87
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#12
Jun 23, 2017, 09:21 PM
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I'm a bit calmer today. Ativan helps.
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
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#13
Jun 23, 2017, 09:28 PM
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Sorry to hear you are going through a rough time.
 Ativan helps me too. Just try to be proud of the progress that you have made thus far, and be gentle to yourself on the tougher days.
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| HALLIEBETH87
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#14
Jun 23, 2017, 11:56 PM
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Argh! No sleep again tonight it seems
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| Anonymous49071, Victoria'smom
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#15
Jun 24, 2017, 12:10 AM
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Hopefully sleep will come. Do you have any PRN's?
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#16
Jun 24, 2017, 01:33 AM
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I have Ativan but I have to get up early :/
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| Anonymous49071, Victoria'smom, Wild Coyote
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