[franz kafka]

I think I'm starting to go crazy again.

This morning at the campus dining hall I went to bring back my dishes. I suddenly realized that there are two sets of stairs next to the dish return. These stairs lead down to another room. Someone was putting a perception filter on me so that I never noticed the stairs until now. I think because there is something special for me to learn downstairs. I was too creeped out to go though.

Stuff like this has been going on all week; this is just an example. It feels like my world is changing into another dimension. All these new messages and signs for me tell me what to do. I'm also getting auditory/visual hallucinations and sensory overload.

I'm meeting temporary tdoc again on Wednesday, but he told me I can get in touch if I need to before then. I don't think I need to, but it's good to know I have that option.

[Guiness187055]

I hope he is able to get your meds right hang in there.

[Sunflower123]

Good luck with your tdoc appointment Wednesday. Please don't hesitate to call earlier if you need to. Best wishes.

[*Laurie*]

I am concerned about your state of mind. I think it's a good idea to get in touch with your pdoc, or a pdoc (even if through the ER) ASAP.

[franz kafka]

Thanks for the support, all. I feel very alone with these thoughts and feelings.

[avlady]

I remember having these kinds of thoughts when i was i college as a freshman. i couldn;t find my way around the school and got lost alot and did find certain places i never saw before.Maybe you were just lost?

[Wander]

It must be so difficult to navigate through life with that going on. Maybe contact your Tdoc ahead of time so they are up to speed on what's happening. I hope you find relief soon.

[franz kafka]

I'm not lost, but thanks for sharing your experience. Somehow my mind shut out the stairs for two whole weeks and only now I'm discovering pathways that something wants me to take. I think they are routes to another, parallel reality.

On Wednesday I meet the school counselor and I talk to my tdoc on the phone. I'll let them know what's happening then, since it doesn't feel like an emergency enough to contact them sooner. But thank you for the suggestion!

[bioChE]

Do you still think it's wise to go to Egypt? You've been sharing a lot recently about psychiatric difficulties.

[Wild Coyote]

I know you have a lot planned which is dependent upon stability. I'm hoping it all works out well for you!


WC

[franz kafka]

bioChE... I'm not going to Egypt until August, so I have some time to get better. That and the university I'll be at apparently has good counseling services (into from someone I trust with personal experience). I think I'll be able to get good care there.

But as for now, it feels like my reality has been replaced with another one that looks the same but isn't. I keep getting "messages" from random things trying to communicate that the rules for this reality are different. I feel like I need to be a detective to figure out this new world.