the world is ending

That's how I feel right now, like the world (well, my world) is ending. It's all over for me. I've started down the path to destruction. I never stood a chance.

There's someone hacking into my mind/body and draining all my energy. They're also putting in some minor SI/SH thoughts. The world is an alternate universe. No one is else is really here.

I have emailed my doctors, but no response yet. I see tdoc on Wednesday.

Pdoc says we can just monitor the situation for a few days. I'm sort of relieved cos I don't want more meds, but I also wonder if I didn't describe how problematic this all is accurately in my email...

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, it will get better.

It sounds like you are in serious trouble to me.
I can't imagine a pdoc responding in that way.
Have you told your pdoc all you've told us here?

You've already monitored this for a few days and it sounds like it's not getting better.

I'm very concerned about your welfare.
Please stay safe.


WC

Franz, it might be worth a hospital trip. You know you are losing sense of reality. Soon you won't be able to tell the difference if your not careful. Best of luck and get better soon!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, please go to the hospital or call your pdoc again. You sound like you're in bad shape. Thinking of you

I agree with Coyote, Guiness, and Jennifer.

I'm meeting tdoc Wednesday... my plan is to get his feedback then re: pdoc/hospital. Until then posting here helps keep me somewhat sane, if you all don't mind.

hey, you had the wherewithal to write your doctors, and to write here. you recognize your experience as symptoms of a disease. don't let go of that. part of you is still in control. it seems maybe that part should escort the other part to the hospital sooner than wednesday...

You can post as much as you need to. PC is my reality check too some times. I'll be happy to help you. What time Wednesday do you see your T?

I'm talking to regular tdoc at 1ish on the phone and going to meet new tdoc at 3pm.

I really want to avoid hospital if I can. I'm in an unfamiliar city. No one will take me there or visit me. I don't even know if my insurance will cover the cost. Too many scary variables.

Please do write all you want to write!
We are here to help.


WC

I have been reading your posts. Keep posting if it helps you ground yourself. It is crucial you stay in touch with reality. Let us know how your appointments go. We are here for you.

What do you need the energy for? Why would anyone want you dead; are you that important?

I don't think it's a problem. Just don't assume anything. You assume too much.

And don't take any benzos, because they may make matters worse.

And we all live in alternate realities. It's difficult to varying degrees, but that's life.

Keep posting and good luck with tomorrow's appointment

Hope you get the help that you need.

Let us know how you are when you can.

I spoke with tdoc today briefly on the phone, but nothing much came up it except a plan to contact pdoc tomorrow if I'm still having SI.

Today I feel very edgy and depressed. The world is still fake. A lot of people are fake too. Having lots of SH and SI ideations. I feel like there's no future.

Thank you for posting the update. Hopefully tomorrow you'll get some assistance. In the meantime keep talking

I think now that the "real" world has ended and all the people and things I see are just echoes. I'm in a bubble universe where the sun hasn't yet exploded, but it will. It's cold and dark and eerie. Nothing matters anymore. Everything is over. Everyone I know is already gone, even if it sounds or looks like them.

I don't want to be here alone. I suspect something evil is stalking me but I can't confirm it. I'm having SI because I just want to escape this fake world.

There isn't any hope. Nothing matters.

Don't give up. What you are experiencing will pass. It sounds like psychosis so reality is topsy turvey right now but it will reset to normal again on its own or with a med change. Do all you can to stay safe through this, even if it means going to ER. Keep posting. We all care about you.

You're seeing your pdoc today right?
I hope it goes well

If it were psychosis some things would matter a very great deal. If the world having ended is very important, it might be psychosis, but it's rather benign, inconsequential, I'd say.

Do you think your thoughts are your own?

You're likely dissociating, but if it's not like some kind of scary impressionistic painting, it's just due to depression and not a problem. If it is like such a painting, you may want to seek immediate help. At any rate, it's just how you perceive the world. It's there if you perceive it. That it's distant is normal. What you perceive is still meaningful, you just don't see it right now.