Reliving the past

My last major manic episode was the beginning of Feb. For whatever reason I can not stop thinking about it today. It's really bothering me. Does anyone else relive their manic episodes over and over in their head? Especially super damaging episodes

As I get farther away from them they bother me less and less. I've been mostly stable for a year and a half. But sometimes I do think about how I behaved in the beginning and I just feel so ashamed. I know what you mean.

I've recently started recalling some severe depressive episode from very long ago. I am not sure of why. It's a bit demoralizing.

I hope you feel better soon!


WC

I use my past manic and depressive episodes as reminders to stick with my present treatment plan.

I relive moments from my past all the time. Random moments, too. It could be something harmless from my past like running an errand, or a time I got into a fight with my ex-wife. I've learned my mind has a mind of its own and will pretty much decide what I think and when I will think it regardless of what I try to do. Medication helps level me out so the thoughts aren't always racing but I keep finding myself caught up in some moment of the past, reliving it in its entirety or trying to improve the situation and change the outcome.

I totally remember manic behavior and how awful it was. I, too, have much shame about it. I call this "ruminating". The only thing I know to do is just to kick myself out of it and do something else. Call a friend, go for a walk...anything but think about the past.

Another things I did was make a list of all the things I've done. I then read this list to my tdoc. I asked her to just listen but say nothing. For some reason, it helped to have someone else know all this crap.

I remember times when I was at my worst as far as severe depression. I was bed ridden, agoraphobic and sleeping 18 hours a day. Not good memories.

My last really bad depression stuck with me for a long time. It did eventually fade away. But I needed to tell someone just how bad it was, once I did that it got better.

I get the thoughts and bad memories a lot, especially around anniversaries of certain events. I use mindfulness and meditation. Meditation isn't just sitting on a cushion for 20 minutes. It can be as simple as walking around the block. Just focus on what you're doing now.

Some therapy would help, like CBT and/or DBT.

I had to do that too. I've told a couple of therapists exactly what happened in my
Last manic/psychotic episode just to get it out of my head. It was so terrifying I feel like I was a little traumatized from it for awhile. It's been three years and it still sticks out in my head as a reminder not to go off my meds.

I've been in CBT and told my T everything. I have written it down and talked to a few others. Nothing seems to help it just pops in my head every now and then. I like the suggestion of distraction. I think I'll try that next time I am in that state of mind.

I get like that when mixed or depressed, I have a hard time to stop dwelling on the past. I like Lilypup's idea of making the list and getting it off your chest. I will try that too.