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#1
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First off, this is in no shape or form directed towards anyone at PC. You've been more helpful and supportive compared to many people in my life.
I'm in need of support right now. Sorry in advance for the long post. Rant: People complicate my life. They aren't there for me, full of empty promises, go on and on about their problems without much concern for me. I don't want to be emotionally needy and do know I should work on that, but I do feel many people trigger me. Some make me feel incompetent and take advantage. All I am is kind to others, but people seem to take it for granted. Then, there's people I thought were trustworthy, but it blows up in my face. That's the worst when you think you can trust someone and you open your heart up to them. Some even think I am making a fool out of myself when I make certain decisions and like to see them end up going wrong. It's as if they get a thrill, like "Ha, I told you so." They don't understand mania and depression. It's hurtful. I am referring to many people in my life; not just one. It makes me really sad and triggers depression and anger. It makes me want to shut everyone out in order to protect myself from being hurt and disappointed time after time. Bipolar makes the problem worst. Self-destructive patterns, taking things inward, extreme anxiety. Yes, very severe anxiety and some anger attached to it. A lack of control. Can anyone relate to any of this? Or....any thoughts at all? I'm really upset. |
![]() Anonymous45023, bizi, Fuzzybear, liveforsummer, Nammu, Skeezyks, Sliders, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, x_blessed
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#2
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Depression isn't so much a problem for me... at least not in the typical sense. My struggles tend to lean more toward anger & anxiety.
![]() ![]() I am married. But I even keep my spouse at arm's length as much as possible. Just yesterday we were out for a walk with our dog... which was nice. But as we were walking along it occurred to me that, under pretty-much any-&-all circumstances, I exist in my own world... walled off from everyone. It's too late to do anything about it now, even if I wanted to. (I don't.) It all just is what it is. In my case, though, I'm old. So it's okay. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() bizi, liveforsummer, Sliders, xRavenx
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![]() xRavenx
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#3
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I'm sorry you're having complications with the people in your life. I agree with you. I tend to be an introvert and a loner. There are a few diamonds in the rough. They're just hard to find. Maybe pulling back from society for a brief period might help you feel better.
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![]() bizi, liveforsummer, Sliders, xRavenx
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![]() xRavenx
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#4
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work on your relationships/family. Loving is what it is about.
bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
![]() liveforsummer, xRavenx
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![]() liveforsummer, xRavenx
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#5
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Thanks all for hearing me out as I rambled and ranted. Today's a little bit of a better day. I still kind of feel the same way, but I'm more preoccupied, which is a good thing. It's when I am left without much to do when my thoughts wander. Family triggers me lately as well. I love them, but I clash with my mother and brother frequently. Maybe it's something to do with my mood swings and medication.....but then again, it's always been that way with them. It's just more intense when I'm going through an episode or bouts of depression/signs of mania. I know I need to seek some kind of comfort within myself.....but it's easier said than done. Especially when people seem to follow me and haunt me. Oh well. It's hard to get away sometimes.
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![]() Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Sliders, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#6
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Sorry you're having a tough time- sending hugs your way
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![]() xRavenx
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![]() xRavenx
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#7
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Thank you.
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![]() bizi, liveforsummer
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#8
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Quote:
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![]() xRavenx
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![]() xRavenx
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#9
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Quote:
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![]() Phoenix_1, xRavenx
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#10
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Thanks, Sliders. So sorry that this is a difficult issue for you too- I'll definitely keep that in mind. I am trying to take it one day at a time, though it's a struggle. (((hugs)))
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![]() liveforsummer
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#11
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It's hard to keep sane when you don't get support. (((hugs)))
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![]() xRavenx
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![]() xRavenx
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#12
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Thanks. (((hugs))) Yeah, that's basically what's going on. I know things can improve eventually, it's just one of those particularly hard times where everything seems to be caving in on me all at once.
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![]() Unrigged64072835
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![]() Unrigged64072835
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#13
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Quote:
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![]() liveforsummer
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#14
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xRavenx I've felt exactly the same way many times. I have BP2 and I wasn't diagnosed until I was 59 years old. I hear you. You're not alone. (((Hugs)))
__________________
Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin ![]() |
![]() xRavenx
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![]() xRavenx
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#15
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Bipolar definitely leaves me feeling so alone, so thank you. (((Hugs))) It helps to know that you and others here understand.
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