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#1
Jul 12, 2017, 09:51 PM
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What are your guy's thoughts when you first wake up? Mines are dreadful and I have to fight them off or I will have a horrible day. They can range from negative thoughts( I'm a failure, how can I get through this, I'm miserable etc.) to suicidal thoughts about my future. Does anyone else have that problem?
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 Slightlydelusional, Sunflower123
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#2
Jul 12, 2017, 09:55 PM
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My thoughts lately have been keeping me in bed. How I'm never going to get another job, how I suck as a teacher....it's no fun but t least I start work for my summer job on Friday. I don't know how unemployed people do it, I hate my unemployed life!!!! Negative thoughts keep me in bed way longer than they should. I feel you!
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| Sunflower123
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#3
Jul 12, 2017, 10:06 PM
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| Sunflower123
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#4
Jul 13, 2017, 01:09 AM
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Im sorry you feel this way, but Im with you.
I wake up with a horrific attitude and end up needing a few hours to get going and work three or so hours before crawling back to bed starting it all over with a long 6 hour nap and than trying to do three more hours of work. So basically sleep 16 hours, work 6 and stare a few hours, in utter misery. While Im working, I utter FMLs almost every few minutes as what I do is brainless. But if I was healthy I would just knock off 6 - 8 hours straight and have more normal schedule. Pretty much the most negative Ive ever gotten for such a long period of time, but manias have destroyed me and trying to stay out of them by being sober from my vices, Ill tell u sobriety is horrific for a bipolar as if the void is not filled positively there is hell to pay in the depression like I am. |
| Sunflower123
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#5
Jul 13, 2017, 01:21 AM
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| Sunflower123
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#6
Jul 13, 2017, 01:34 AM
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I do rideshare which if I wasnt depressed would be really good for my situation.
Can choose own hours and I live in a very busy city and higher rates. No boss or co-workers to deal with, sometimes really bad passengers, but they are gone and not a big deal. I have a really hard time with party people at night as feel so jealous and they are annoying when drunk so try to do the morning and afternoon but traffic sucks. Also my car is a lemon and have had huge issues but think Im going for a Prius upgrade and have stablity with that. I was a teacher and miss being a professional so much and have a complex about being a fake taxi driver, but need to get over it. |
| Sunflower123
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#7
Jul 13, 2017, 10:48 AM
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Frankly, my thoughts when I awake are along the lines of, "This again? Why? How will I make it through this day?" I try my best to deny those thoughts, but. Yeah.
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| Sunflower123
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#8
Jul 13, 2017, 10:56 AM
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Every morning is a struggle with the negative thoughts, if I don't get up and shower as soon as alarm goes off I get stuck in my head. I have days where the thoughts take over and I stay in bed all day
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
| Sunflower123
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#9
Jul 13, 2017, 11:13 AM
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I'm sorry you have to face that as soon as you wake up. I wake up positive and hopeful each morning and get more depressed as the day goes on as I realize how much my illness is limiting me and that I will be doing nothing yet again another day.
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#10
Jul 13, 2017, 01:57 PM
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I have trouble sleeping and use trazadone, 75 mg or more, to get to sleep. I am in a fog for a good 45 minutes going through life like a robot. Whichever mood I will be in comes on gradually; one of the few blessings of the trazfog. Lately it is usually a low key sulk until something jump starts my thoughts and it is off to the races. This seems to be due to the latuda and lamictal; I didn't have a parking gear before. Now I often start the day feeling I am neutral or on my way down and then the light turns green and I am burning rubber. I prefer being up to being down as I am type II but when I am up it means that the trazadone is a given and may be 150 mg, so the fog will roll back in tomorrow.
I have tried other sleep meds. Ambien worked for a while but when it didn't work as well I had a hard time getting off of it. OTC stuff doesn't do it for me. Also, I take a high enough traz dose that it is part of my AD regimen.
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| |Up and down |And in the end it's only round and round |Pink Floyd - Us and Them | |bipolar II, substance use disorder, ADD |lamictal, straterra | |
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#11
Jul 13, 2017, 02:03 PM
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#12
Jul 13, 2017, 02:06 PM
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#13
Jul 13, 2017, 02:11 PM
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Mornings are usually my worst time of the day. Even when fairly stable mornings are horrible. I wake up sick and hurting and always wondering how I'm going to make it through life with this lemon of a body I got stuck with. Today is so terrible, I hurt everywhere, my stomach is killing me. I feel like I'm going to die and I just want to get it over with if that's the case. I'm shaking from pain. How will I make it through potentially 50 + more years of this? These psych meds are killing me....they make my pain so much worse. I got an IUD implanted a few weeks ago, they think I have endometriosis and the IUD should help my pain......it's made everything worse. I can't catch a break. I have so much I need to do before taking my son on a long trip to his treatment facility tomorrow and I just pray I'm able to get it done. I will never make it through this painful life If I lose my son. that pretty much sums up my thoughts from this morning and most mornings. Screw mornings! My dad wakes up reving to go everyday.....only needs a few hours of sleep and has tons of energy. I could have easily gotten through medical school had I had his genes in that regard.
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| *Laurie*, Anonymous57777
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#14
Jul 13, 2017, 04:05 PM
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I spend my first few waking moments not wanting to get out of bed. But either the bladder kicks in or the cats start meowing loudly so I get up. I don't think it's negative thinking; I'm just too comfortable.
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#15
Jul 13, 2017, 05:28 PM
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I was working in a wonderful, funky cafe...worked there for 13 years...but I had to move to a different town, so quit my job. I miss it. Sometimes I think a job would help; other times I think a job would just be that much more stress. It's great that you go to the gym! |
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