[Goals2017]

So I just wanna know if happiness is possible again for me. I'm having such a hard time envisioning a happy state of mind since the last time I felt happy was when I was manic (9 months ago) and well we all know how that goes. And honestly I can't see myself making it to 30 (24 now) if this depressive thinking doesn't end.

[wildflowerchild25]

I was exactly the same way at 19. Never thought I'd live to 25, much less thirty, which I am now. But it DOES end. For me it took a few rounds of ECT but I've been stable and mostly happy for a year and a half. obviously life still has its ups and downs, as it does for everyone, but I am happy. It will happen for you.

[Guiness187055]

It's hard to explain it's a different kind of happy. It feels more like being content when all of the meds are working right. The way I would explain it is...it is what it is. YMMV

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by Guiness187055

It's hard to explain it's a different kind of happy. It feels more like being content when all of the meds are working right. The way I would explain it is...it is what it is. YMMV

I agree. Mania feels awesome but it's not true happiness. If you're looking for that level of euphoria on an everyday basis you will be disappointed.

[Goals2017]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I was exactly the same way at 19. Never thought I'd live to 25, much less thirty, which I am now. But it DOES end. For me it took a few rounds of ECT but I've been stable and mostly happy for a year and a half. obviously life still has its ups and downs, as it does for everyone, but I am happy. It will happen for you.

Wildflower see I'm stable but miserable I lost all my confidence, I don't know who I am anymore I've lost touch with God and feel myself angry with him sometimes even though I know he didn't do anything to me. I'm just flat out depressed and I can feel it eating at me. I feel paralyzed by my situation and I can't envision anything positive. Is it just me or is it apart of the BP?!?!? I hope it's just me cause if it's just me then I know I have a chance for change but if it's the BP then idk how to beat this thing 😩

[Victoria'smom]

I'm content. Love my family. paranoia is minimal. Happy I can get happy but it's situational.

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by Goals2017

Wildflower see I'm stable but miserable I lost all my confidence, I don't know who I am anymore I've lost touch with God and feel myself angry with him sometimes even though I know he didn't do anything to me. I'm just flat out depressed and I can feel it eating at me. I feel paralyzed by my situation and I can't envision anything positive. Is it just me or is it apart of the BP?!?!? I hope it's just me cause if it's just me then I know I have a chance for change but if it's the BP then idk how to beat this thing 😩

I don't think that's chemical. I think that's a problem with your thinking. CBT might help with that, as would DBT. any therapist really can help with that. I had that kind of thinking when I first got stable but with the help of my late husband and journaling I got over it. I had to train myself to think differently.

[Goals2017]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I don't think that's chemical. I think that's a problem with your thinking. CBT might help with that, as would DBT. any therapist really can help with that. I had that kind of thinking when I first got stable but with the help of my late husband and journaling I got over it. I had to train myself to think differently.

I think your right I definitely have bad thinking patterns how long did it take you to over come your thinking patterns and notice a legit change?

[Standup2me]

When I am stable, I tend to be called suzy sunshine or ms happy-pants.
I think that it is because I am surrounded by so much beauty in the world that it
makes my heart smile.
But is that state happiness or is it just me being me and others seeing it a happiness?
I don't know

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by Goals2017

I think your right I definitely have bad thinking patterns how long did it take you to over come your thinking patterns and notice a legit change?

My memory is a bit shot from ECT but I would say about a year. By the time I started college again in the fall I had a pretty good head on my shoulders. And it lasted for six years until my bp symptoms came back. But thankfully since I got my thinking patterns under control, once I got the symptoms controlled with medication I was able to be content again. I'm hoping I'm in for another long period of remission.

[raspberrytorte]

I feel content right now, which for me equals happiness.

[Goals2017]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

My memory is a bit shot from ECT but I would say about a year. By the time I started college again in the fall I had a pretty good head on my shoulders. And it lasted for six years until my bp symptoms came back. But thankfully since I got my thinking patterns under control, once I got the symptoms controlled with medication I was able to be content again. I'm hoping I'm in for another long period of remission.

That's great I hope you stay in remission as well! Good advice I think I just need a job and some positive thoughts and I'll be ok. I am exercising atleast so that's a plus.

certainly not me.

i'm not even content with any part of my life.

[Wander]

I pretty content now but that a lot to do with improving my self esteem over many years, and not being in an episode. I like myself. Strange, but it really helps.

[Espurr1989]

I am genuinely happy. ��

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I agree. Mania feels awesome but it's not true happiness.

I respectfully disagree. Happy is happy. I take joy in little things and a lot of those little thinks happen while (for me) hypomanic. I do not allow my state of mind to tarnish a good memory. I have accepted that my happiness comes in small doses and try to live in the moment when they happen. If I am under the warm sun walking the beach, I let myself get lost in that and don't think about why I was crying 10 minutes earlier and might be again in 5.

[Sunflower123]

I am situationally happy. I think that much of my unhappiness is occurring from negative thought patterns. My pdoc has me re-reading the book Feeling Good about CBT and my therapist has me reading a book about DBT. It will take a lot of work but eventually I hope to have better thought patterns and much less depression. I haven't been anything but situationally happy for a long time now. I accept contentment as a good state.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I would say I am mostly content with what I have and have joy.

When I'm well and life is going reasonable smooth and I'm not so sick I feel like off'ing myself to escape the pain and my family is safe I'm very happy indeed.

[Unrigged64072835]

Happy for me is situational. Otherwise I'm content. My life is going okay for the most part.

[Woolly Bugger]

It's been said that you can only be as happy as your most miserable child. That is certainly true in my case, as none of my children is leading a normal, stable life. I'm doing well myself, in general, but I can't relax, let alone feel happy, if they insist on screwing up.

[BipolaRNurse]

As much as I miss my husband (he passed away exactly one year ago today), I can say that I'm reasonably happy. I have family around me, there is a roof over my head and a safe place to sleep, there is food in my belly and plenty of ways to keep myself occupied even though I don't work anymore. So many people don't have those things. I am truly blessed.

[RainyDay107]

I am genuinely happy. That said, I'm often unwell (MI) and bipolar disorder and anxiety have a huge impact on my life.

But, yes! I am truly happy. I had an abusive childhood and marriage. Those are in the past. Today, I'm grateful for what and who are in my life. This is the happiest time for me, ever. I told my partner that today.

[Goals2017]

Originally Posted by glamslam

I am genuinely happy. That said, I'm often unwell (MI) and bipolar disorder and anxiety have a huge impact on my life.

But, yes! I am truly happy. I had an abusive childhood and marriage. Those are in the past. Today, I'm grateful for what and who are in my life. This is the happiest time for me, ever. I told my partner that today.

That's great! I'm glad somebody is doing better then ok.

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

As much as I miss my husband (he passed away exactly one year ago today), I can say that I'm reasonably happy

Thinking of you, BipolarNurse.