Absolutely Nobody

I literally have nothing and I'm nothing. I'm a nobody. I am nothing. Why am I even here.

I'm sorry you feel this way right now. Is there anyone in RL you can talk to? You're not a nobody or nothing, not to the people who love you.

Nope I have no one. I tried talking to my husband earlier about some things and that just made me feel worse. I'm pretty sure he regrets marrying me.

I'm sure he doesn't regret marrying you. That's just your depression making you think that way. When I'm depressed I always think my husband would be better off with me, etc, or that he regrets marrying me.

Do you have a doctor appointment coming up?

Well he did say that he wished he'd known how I was before marrying me.

May I suggest that you see your pdoc again and maybe get on meds again. It sounds like you could use some help.
Do you have a therapist to talk to?
Maybe you guys need some couples counseling?
Do you have any siblings?
are your parents still living?
sorry you are having a hard time right now.
(((((HUGS))))
post here all you want.
bizi

That's a lousy thing for him to say. I'm sorry he said that! How long were you guys dating before you got married? Did you have depression issues before you got married?

6 months and I was manic/hypo for most of the first year of our relationship.

I have no one and no insurance.

Can you get state insurance?

In my state you can apply and get insurance through the state. That's what I have right now. It pays for everything, except that meds are a dollar each. You should look into it. It's really helped me a lot. I don't know what I would do without it.

perhaps there is a charity hospital or clinic that operates on a sliding scale?
We are a small town 200K and we have that plus we are in the south.
Some of the churches offer counseling services.
What about medicaid?
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

They will only come me for family planning. My husband makes too much money but we can't afford insurance.

Please keep a journal so when you do see someone they can help. We're here for you and are glad you're here.

I found this place called C3369 the lady said I could come by and fill out a paper to see if I qualify for some help and I would have to do an assessment which I'm afraid of because I'm afraid of being hospitalized. I can't afford that. Ive been having SI but it's usually triggered by something. It's different than being (trigger) depressed and suicidal. I honestly don't know if I'm depressed or not. I just hate feeling this way.

please go and apply.
(((HUGS))))
bizi

I think I may try tomorrow

Do whatever you need to do to get better. They may have a program instead of IP.

You're saying you can't get help because you have no money. Then you say you can't get help because the place that might help you isn't going to do the right thing, although you haven't even applied.

Do you really want help?

Yes I am trying to get help. I just learned of this place. I called yesterday to see what they offer for people with no insurance and the lady said I have to come in and fill out a paper and do an assessment to see if I can qualify for any kind of help paying. I'm going to do that. I didn't know about this place before and I can't afford insurance don't have insurance. I really do hope that I can get help from this place.

Good luck with this new place I hope they can help!

Good luck, hopefully they can help you out.

Let us know how it goes.
good luck!
You deserve a break.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I hope you can get financial help.

My husband married me during a serious manic episode. I was hypersexual and very charming. I probably looked pretty attractive in those days. The good news is that we have stayed married 31 years. There have been a lot of bipolar ups and downs during that time. My husband just educated himself on the illness and goes with the flow. I know I am incredibly lucky.

Try to get the energy together to keep looking for help. My gut tells me there is something out there if you can find it.

Because, deep down, you want to live. And beyond that, you want to live contentfully and joyfully.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, cuz no one can fight it for you.

Thanks! And you are right, I just want to be happy. But it's so hard.