[Moose72]

Well I dunno which is worse: being sui or this. Today I saw the liver specialists. Second time. Blood levels are normal but they was to do an echo on my heart and a biopsy on my liver. That should be November. They dot seem too scared but although I was non-emotional in the office now I'm scared . It's like "why was I ever sui when I could actually die?"

As soon as I start feeling better and SI goes away I feel guilty because of all the people who are dying but wish to live. SI is a symptom of illness however and therefore not entirely rational. Of course you don't want to die from some possibly painful lingering illness. I'm so very sorry for what you are facing......that is a lot to digest and it makes sense it didn't hit you right away. You will likely be on an emotional roller coaster of feeling regarding this as the biopsy date approaches so be kind and understanding with yourself. It's not dying that scares me as much as continuing to live in constant pain and function loss. (((hugs)))

[*Laurie*]

Remember that suicidal thoughts come from pain exceeding resources to cope with pain. It's not that we really want to die...we just need the tools to feel better. Try not to allow your mind to trick you into feeling guilty for feeling suicidal.

[Moose72]

What's more, I think I got the liver disease from ZYPREXA!!!!!!! The med my Pdoc refuses to take me off. Well it's over. I'm done.

[Unrigged64072835]

I have a similar issue, but I've also gained a lot of weight from meds, which doesn't help either. My enzymes are still high but steady. I just do what I can.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

I have a similar issue, but I've also gained a lot of weight from meds, which doesn't help either. My enzymes are still high but steady. I just do what I can.

My enzymes were huge in Jan. But they are normal now plus I've lost a bit of weight. At least I did that the drs seemed happy. I thought they were going to say it wasn't enough weight.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you are going through this. It's got to be frightening. I hope your tests go smoothly and everything comes out ok. I would definitely try to ditch the Zyprexa. Sending big hugs.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I'm sorry you are going through this. It's got to be frightening. I hope your tests go smoothly and everything comes out ok. I would definitely try to ditch the Zyprexa. Sending big hugs.

My Pdoc has been fighting me on the zyprexa thing for a year now. It's rediculous. But I'll just have to put it out straight.

[~Christina]

Needing a Liver Biopsy is proof enough you need off that shyt !

[lost_lover]

I might be totally off but SI for me as always included a large portion of wanting to have control of my future or lack of it. My medical issues make me feel like I have no control and I am not ok with them ruling my life. I was on a medication about a year ago that was messing up my liver but I was only taking it because my mom wanted me to get rid of my adult acne (Accutane), eventually, I just stopped taking it since the worst thing that could happen is my skin not looking nice.

I would tell the doctor you want an alternative to the zyprexa, it isn't like there are not 50 other meds you could be taking. I get frustrating they insist on keeping my on Latuda even though it made me put on 100lbs and I am not pre diabetic but I am dealing for now because it really controls my mania. Liver damage is more frightening than being fat, is there a reason they will not switch you to something else? There are just so many meds in that class I don't understand why a doctor would insist on keeping you on one that is making you sick.

[bukowski06]

Olanzapine/Zyprexa gave my husband fatty liver. He was able to find an alternative that has helped. It does seem that there are other options for medications with a similar profile for treatment. I hope your doctor will help you to find one

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by bukowski06

Olanzapine/Zyprexa gave my husband fatty liver. He was able to find an alternative that has helped. It does seem that there are other options for medications with a similar profile for treatment. I hope your doctor will help you to find one

We went through many drugs trying to get me off zyprexa in 2012 to no avail. Rexulti does work so I don't see why I can't just take that.

[liveforsummer]

If it's a sliver of reassurance I have a family member and co worker that both have a spot on their liver that turned out to be nothing serious.

Moose, if you don't mind me asking, how long were you on this medication before the liver issues began? (((Hugs)))

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Moose, if you don't mind me asking, how long were you on this medication before the liver issues began? (((Hugs)))

I don't remember but the first time I saw the liver doctors was January this year. Yes my Pdoc was aware I was seeing a liver Dr and still refused to take me off it.

I wish you had an idea. I want off meds and instead I'm going up, up, up. Did they warn you liver problems could occur? I'm glad you are going to fight to get off it....the whites of my eyes are yellowing and my family has noticed. My eyes hurt so bad and feel diseased. It's not fair these meds have such terrible side effects. The doctors won't give me safer meds because of medical concerns but give me meds that can easily kill me instead. It's baffling.

[DorothyButton]

I was on 20mg daily of Olanzapine for 4 years due to OCD I think. My psychiatrist took me off of it 14 weeks ago - no tapering off - nothing!! It's seriously making me have such manic (slight mania) symptoms since! I have queried Bipolar but my GP had said it could be Cyclothymia. I haven't got an appointment with a psychiatrist for another 6 weeks yet! I'm seriously pulling my hair out because I can barely get through 24 hours atm!!

I was taken off of Olanzapine because of being diabetic but even still 'surely' it should have been tapered off?!