Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Sep 03, 2017, 08:06 PM
Shazerac's Avatar
Shazerac Shazerac is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: May 2015
Location: earth
Posts: 3,029
It never ceases to amaze me how my brain plays tricks on me. I've been stressing out a lot lately trying to decide if I need to up my meds...or be off my meds. Or move to a mud hut in Nepal. Blah blah blah. I've been in total denial.

Then today it hit me like a ton of bricks. MY SISTER DIED on July 5th, less than 2 months ago. I grieved for an "appropriate" amount of time. (According to those around me) and then I put it in a tidy little box and shoved it away. I guess I need to stand my ground and grieve however long I need to grieve and not let other people tell me how long I'm allowed to be sad.

I'm angry with my husband for telling me that I should be ok by now. I guess I'm angry with everyone else who thinks I should be back to "normal." I'm angry because I fell into that old comfortable habit of plastering on a fake smile and pretending to be ok when I'm not.
__________________


Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day!

"Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 -
Seroquel 100
Celexa 20 mg
Xanax .5 mg prn
Modafanil 100 mg

Hugs from:
*Laurie*, 99fairies, Anonymous45023, Fuzzybear, Nammu, raspberrytorte, rwwff, Sunflower123, UpDownAround

advertisement
  #2  
Old Sep 03, 2017, 08:11 PM
Victoria'smom's Avatar
Victoria'smom Victoria'smom is online now
Legendary
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 15,916
I'm sorry about your sister. Grieve as long as you need to.
__________________
Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
My blog
Thanks for this!
Shazerac
  #3  
Old Sep 03, 2017, 08:59 PM
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina ~Christina is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
Grieve .. You lost a loved one

Shame on people telling you that you should be over it,

Dont feel like you need that fake face .. F that .
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
Thanks for this!
*Laurie*, Shazerac
  #4  
Old Sep 03, 2017, 09:17 PM
Nammu's Avatar
Nammu Nammu is offline
Crone
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 76,659
Grief doesn't come with a timer, take as much time as you need.
__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Thanks for this!
Shazerac
  #5  
Old Sep 03, 2017, 09:36 PM
1978dd's Avatar
1978dd 1978dd is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2017
Location: Midwest
Posts: 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shazerac View Post
It never ceases to amaze me how my brain plays tricks on me. I've been stressing out a lot lately trying to decide if I need to up my meds...or be off my meds. Or move to a mud hut in Nepal. Blah blah blah. I've been in total denial.


Then today it hit me like a ton of bricks. MY SISTER DIED on July 5th, less than 2 months ago. I grieved for an "appropriate" amount of time. (According to those around me) and then I put it in a tidy little box and shoved it away. I guess I need to stand my ground and grieve however long I need to grieve and not let other people tell me how long I'm allowed to be sad.


I'm angry with my husband for telling me that I should be ok by now. I guess I'm angry with everyone else who thinks I should be back to "normal." I'm angry because I fell into that old comfortable habit of plastering on a fake smile and pretending to be ok when I'm not.


My eldest son (28) died nine years ago and I still have times of grief. You'll heal when you heal!!
Hugs from:
Shazerac
Thanks for this!
Shazerac
  #6  
Old Sep 04, 2017, 06:24 AM
Shazerac's Avatar
Shazerac Shazerac is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: May 2015
Location: earth
Posts: 3,029
Thank you all for the validation. I shall now commence grieving at my own pace! I didn't even realize until I posted last night (and started crying while I was typing) that I was in fact angry with my husband. He's been asking me if I'm mad at him and if I was ok. It was getting annoying. I didn't even realize that I was hiding in plain sight.
__________________


Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day!

"Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 -
Seroquel 100
Celexa 20 mg
Xanax .5 mg prn
Modafanil 100 mg

Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, Gabyunbound
  #7  
Old Sep 04, 2017, 11:12 AM
*Laurie* *Laurie* is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: California Uber Alles
Posts: 9,150
July 5th and you're supposed to be over it?! Uhm...NO.

My precious sister died on October 28th, 2016 and I'm still grieving plenty hard. I'm functioning, I do life, but the grief is immense. In addition - I think due in part to the grief - I am having health problems of my own all of a sudden.

Losing a sibling is a terrible, painful, frightening type of loss. It's very important that you do grieve, in your own time.
Hugs from:
Shazerac
Thanks for this!
Shazerac
  #8  
Old Sep 04, 2017, 11:18 AM
Shazerac's Avatar
Shazerac Shazerac is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: May 2015
Location: earth
Posts: 3,029
((( Laurie)))) is sorry for your loss. My sisters name was Laurie. Well it still is. She lives on in my heart ❤️
__________________


Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day!

"Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 -
Seroquel 100
Celexa 20 mg
Xanax .5 mg prn
Modafanil 100 mg

  #9  
Old Sep 04, 2017, 11:23 AM
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,637
I'm sorry about your sister

And I'm sorry my posts aren't much help at the moment
__________________
Hugs from:
Shazerac
Thanks for this!
Shazerac
Reply
Views: 448

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:03 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.