[bioChE]

My recent therapist experience hasn't been much better than my past experiences. The reason I decided to try therapy again after a number of years is that the most effective combo in treating BP is meds and psychotherapy. So I kind of felt obligated to find a therapist. As a bit of backstory, I've been pretty stable on meds for the past few years. My last major episode was in 2015.

During my first therapist visit, he said his goal was to have me, "Doing well while not feeling well." I've now seen him four times, biweekly since then. During these visits he's diagnosed my present state to be moderately to severely depressed. This is based on a survey where I've expressed the fact that my mood is quite flat. His main criteria for doing well is to be doing well in my job and having a good marriage and family relationship.

Well, we've basically established that I'm doing well at my job, and have a good marriage and family relationship. Today during our session he said that I'm doing the things he could help me with, and as such didn't feel the need to be seeing me as often. He suggested monthly until the end of the year, and then quarterly or as-needed after that. It wasn't that anything was a problem, I just think he was out of options on how to help me live better.

I'm finding this whole experience to be rather strange. It's not that we've stalled out in our conversations or anything, and I actually felt quite a bit better after our previous session.

I don't know. I'm a bit frustrated at the whole experience, and figured this was the place I could find some perspectives. Anyone else have a therapist experience anything like this? My guess is no. But I thought sharing about it would be at least throwing it out there.

I just talked to my wife about it, and she had an interesting take. Earlier this year I had a bad experience with a trial of Wellbutrin. She said that at that time it would have been good to have an established relationship with a therapist who I could get in with easily and who could have been another perspective on the situation. This was a good point, as at that time if I had started the process of seeking out and establishing a relationship with a therapist, it would have been too late. At least now I have someone with whom I could get a quick appointment and with whom I could hit the ground running.

I guess I don't know what to think of the whole situation. If anyone has any thoughts, I'd certainly be open to hearing them.

[Travelinglady]

I agree with your wife--a therapist at hand is worth two in the bush. I guess once he really got to know you, he saw he didn't need to meet with you as often. That's probably good, I think. But you can tell him if you would like to meet more often as time goes along.

[bioChE]

Thanks lady, I appreciate the feedback. And I agree with your assessment that he didn't need to see me as often. Fact is, I didn't really go in with any burning problem on my mind that needed to be addressed. It's probably for the better that I gave it a shot, though.

[Shazerac]

Doing well but not feeling well? Hmmm Im not sure that that would sit well with me. But I do agree that maybe you are doing "better" than those who would need more frequent sessions. My opinion is that you listen to your heart. If you are ok with less frequent sessions than go with it. If you feel you need more than take care of yourself and push for that.

[still_crazy]

hi. here's a problem i have with all of Mental Health, Inc.: they have -their- values, and a lot of "treatment" seems to involve getting you to internalize their values, their view of you and your life, and then getting you to behave in ways them deem fit.

so, your dude....wants you to do stuff that men in 21st century america are expected to do. work, do the family thing, function, even if you don't feel like it. my best guess is that if you were female, he'd pull out a box of Kleenex and encourage you to rehash your life story, etc. etc. etc. just sayin'.

im glad your job is going well and that your family life is solid, i really am. i just...i dunno. this dude doesn't sound terrible, just kind of...well, kind of like yet another male talk therapist. par for the course, i guess is the phrase im going for here.

if you've had frequent hospitalizations and/or relapses, then i imagine having a decent, OK therapist on hand is a good idea. if there's trauma and other stuff that you want to deal with, i dont think it sounds as if this dude is the one for you. then again...personally, ive found a lot of ways to deal with my...problems...outside of Mental Health, Inc. that help tremendously. spirituality, friends, exercise, supplements, writing, etc.

ok. to me, he sounds fairly mediocre, but...that's just my take on it.

[Wild Coyote]

Some mental health (behavioral health) insurance benefit management companies require a therapist to present a treatment plan to them, in order for the therapist to get paid through the client's insurance. The therapist is expected to adhere to the written treatment plan, as submitted, or send in a revised plan and the reasoning for a revision.

This may or may not be going on with your insurance provider/manager.

Either way, it makes sense that if you present with few issues, the treatment intensity and frequency is usually less.

I think this initial plan can be revised, as so often the presenting issues are not the deeper issues a client eventually discloses, much later on within a therapeutic relationship.

I am also reasonably sure, if you are not in agreement with your therapist on this, you and he can discuss this and come up with a new plan.

You usually come across as very "together" here.
At the same time, you have a lot of responsibility on your shoulders!
I admire your courage (to take on so much and to believe in yourself enough to "go for it"). I also admire your devotion to your wife and your children.

Let's face it, you're pretty near "perfect!"

I hope you get a lot out of your therapeutic relationship with your therapist.


WC

[bioChE]

LOL. Thank you for all the affirmations, WC. Not trying to contradict you, but I am far from perfect. I struggle with so many things day-to-day, but I think God has given me the grace to overcome most of them. I can present a good face, but in the background I feel like there are so many things I have going on. To be honest, I almost feel like two different people; the one I present to the world, and the one that lives in my head.

My ultimate goal is to align the two and present to the world the person that is going on behind the scenes. Or to get the behind the scenes guy to line up with the image I present to the world.

I do however, feel very blessed to be on a stable combo of meds. Even if I do feel a bit flat, hopefully all it will take to rectify that is a tweaking of my medication. I do deal with apathy, but if that's the worst it gets then I'm willing to accept it as the price paid to live with this disease. My wife has said how wonderful it is to live with me this way, as opposed to living with someone whose emotions she doesn't know from one minute to the next.

Thanks again for all the compliments, it means a lot. I don't feel worthy to accept them all, but you've blessed me by saying what you did.

My heart goes out to you as you deal with both your physical and emotional struggles. I hope soon you can find a place of peace and contentment.

[UpDownAround]

I don't know if it is really different/strange, but my company used to have an Employee Assistance Program benefit that was separate from insurance. You could get 3 free in person therapy sessions per year. The therapist knew they were through the program and that she (I nearly always choose women for health care except for that one specialist) would likely never see me again. They would often say almost nothing. Just listen to me complain.

[Sunflower123]

I agree with all of the previous posts. It's a good idea to have a therapist on hand should you need him. If you are comfortable seeing him less frequently, ok. Something motivated you to go to a therapist. Did that issue get resolved? If you need to see him more often then I would request it.

For the record, you always seem to have it together to me as well.

I agree with the others that you present as someone who has it together. I also agree with your wife that it's good to have an established relationship with a therapist in case you need one going forward. I doubt a therapist, even a good one can help you with apathy created by meds. Apathy would be unacceptable for me but I understand how for you it's a better option than the alternative.

My therapist had me scheduled for 2 appointments a month while in crisis (one phone, one in person) once stabilized she changed it to once every 2 months. She told me I could teach therapy and she doesn't know any more than I. She cannot fix my mental health issues no matter how much rehashing I do. I don't trust easily and when unwell I don't trust at all. I feel that seeing her more frequently would allow us to build a relationship of trust that could benefit me when unwell so I plan to tell her that at my next appointment.

I've talked to many smart people who have underwent therapy for years and got nothing at all out of it....not even validation of their suffering. Therapists only usually care about function with a primary focus on working (which you seem to do fine) and interpersonal relations which you have stated are not an issue. Therefore, you are doing well in their eyes and the eyes of most people. Your experience with this therapist is typical actually and I've heard this same kind of story over and over.

For me, I want to see a therapist more often to build a real, trusting relationship. To have someone who understands me and can offer tailored advise. I might be wanting or asking for too much however. I'd stay in touch with this therapist as she could be useful if you go off the rails in the future. If you personal and professional life take a nose dive. I'm glad you have found meds which you are comfortable with the results of. It's odd that you didn't see yourself as depressed, this therapist does and yet they don't want to see you often, but that's how the game of therapy is I guess. Good luck going forward.