[JanusunaJ]

I am so alone in this world. Years ago, being alone never really bothered me. I even had a friend that pointed out how I would disappear for hours or even a few days. But, now I find it to be wholly disheartening and emotionally painful. Maybe in the past I knew that when I ventured into moments of solitude I knew that I could easily jump back in to the social world. However, now I find that I've been absent, in a sense, and now that I want or rather need the comfort of socializing with friends they are gone.

I am envious of sociopaths(is that a misnomer?). It must be a splendid thing to not have a care in the world regarding socializing. If I could, I think that I would excise that part of myself that desires human contact. That part may bring pleasure, but for me it is deep in the shadow of the psychical pain that comes along with its facet that brings awareness to alienation and ostracization.

[Travelinglady]

((((Quixotic)))) Do you like to get out with people, say, watching them in a mall or going to the movies? That's a start in meeting new people, anyway.

[JanusunaJ]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

((((Quixotic)))) Do you like to get out with people, say, watching them in a mall or going to the movies? That's a start in meeting new people, anyway.

I don't live in an area where there are amenities such as malls or theaters. There aren't really things to do here or people of my ilk.

[ldymia]

I have only 2 friends and they are both older then me. I'm alone most of the time myself. I even feel alone when my family is home. I have always been a loner even in school, I have no school friends to reconnect with.

[Cocosurviving]

I relocated shortly after diagnoses. I only know two people. I talk to them on the phone. One has ask me to come visit her. She doesn't drive and lives about 35 mins from me. I use to go to a support group before I relocated. It was nice and I'm thinking of joining another group where I am. I have some family where I am but not close to them

I am alone quite often. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I get very lonely.

[Wild Coyote]

Due to fatigue, chronic pain and depression, I can get into isolating for long periods of time. Very long periods of time. I've come out of some of these lengthy periods of isolation to realize certain people are very angry, so angry they vow they will never see me again. In other words, they take my isolation as rejection of them. Something for me to consider, of course.

Great thread.
Thanks for sharing.


WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Unfortunately my old friends are really social, outgoing people--and I am not. Along with my MI issues I'm shy and introverted. My husband is the same way. I guess I'm lucky in the sense that there is at least one other person to talk to when I feel I need it.

[SorryShaped]

I get you. I'm at this age and divorced early this year, the most free I've ever been and also most lonely person I've ever known. I'm slowly starting to make friends through yoga classes but I have been hurt by so many before that my level of trust for people is very low. When I met people, I try to be open and listen and understand them, but my mind sets to wandering and wondering, and I feel this gut feeling of "they're only being nice. Move on." So, I do. I probably shouldn't trust myself but should instead learn to interact more. Funny thing is, I can interact with women better than men (they're usually smarter and smell nicer to), but only if I know there's no chance ever of romantic involvement. Don't get me started on that subject.

[JanusunaJ]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Due to fatigue, chronic pain and depression, I can get into isolating for long periods of time. Very long periods of time. I've come out of some of these lengthy periods of isolation to realize certain people are very angry, so angry they vow they will never see me again. In other words, they take my isolation as rejection of them. Something for me to consider, of course.

Great thread.
Thanks for sharing.


WC

I've had the same thing happen to me over the past year, regarding people being upset with me because I'd isolated myself during a period of severe depression. However, it is me presuming that they were upset because when I did step from that depression-darkness and tried re-establishing connection, I was wholly ignored...on multiple occasions and still am to this day so I don't really know why I've been ignored. In truth, I suppose that they themselves could be going through a period of some form of extreme challenge or difficulty, which in turn obstructs social interaction.

In the distant past, think 10-15 years ago, when I'd find myself in a state of solitude it wasn't because I was dealing with the extreme of depression, but because I'd simply just be doing things on my own. During those years there weren't the precipitates, permanently severing relationships with me or drastically altering interaction with me by way of seemingly morphing our relationship from friends to acquaintances, which is seemingly what is happening presently.

These days, I sometimes repeat the thought: "We aren't friends and we aren't absolute strangers; we simply share memories of interaction and affection from the past...nothing more."

I don't really know why I let these types of losses bother me when it apparently doesn't bother the people whom I've lost. I also get that I shouldn't let my experience be diminished or influenced in some sort of reactionary way to others, but it seems that I care about things(i.e. friendships) that are just nonsensical.

[Sunflower123]

I empathize. Being very introverted and a loner, I don't need much social contact but when I get lonely it is very painful. I hope you can find a way to re-establish social contacts. Sending big hugs.

[Tucson]

I can relate. I have no freinds locally. I have one freind that I talk to on the phone. Since my daughter does not live with me anymore, I do feel alone. Sometimes I wish she was still here with me. I used to be outgoing and meet allot of people by going to social events. However, I still had no real freinds. I used to feel very lonely but I am doing better than I did in years past.

[SorryShaped]

Some days, like today, I just don't want to see other people at all and just isolate from them. It just makes me sick to look at people at all. I'll talk but not much

[WildcatVet]

I don't mind being alone most of the time because the farm keeps me busy. But this very rural area is not very conducive to meeting people or making acquaintances.