[Goals2017]

Hello all I just wanna vent for a moment and maybe ask a question or two. First, I always feel I should be happier then what I am, I seem to either feel I shouldn't feel as good as I am because I'm "bipolar" and others are suffering worst then me so I always feel like it's extremely hard to be happy or accept that maybe my bipolar isn't as bad as someone else's and thus for I "should " be happy but I'm not. It's so hard for me to pinpoint the core of this issue. I don't know if it's because medication that alters my mood or is this just the way I am and if I wasn't bipolar I'd feel the same way in my life currently? I do however feel noticeably less depressed ever since I got my job. Just started Monday. I do find myself getting stressed tho, but this is normal and apart of being an adult with a full time job. But I am working with clients with traumatic brain injuries and they have it significantly harder then I do, and for some reason this depresses me because I feel like I am ungrateful for not being happy. It's like I constantly ask myself why am I so unhappy when other people have it so much harder then me. Idk I'm just venting cause I have nowhere else to vent too, but is anyone happy while on medication? I feel like I blame all my problems on medication but it's really hard to dictate what's med related and what's "normal" and I won't go off my lithium cause I'd rather feel like this then risk having another manic episode. My last one almost destroyed my life and I just don't wanna take a risk of that happening again. Also it's really hard to lose weight while being on these meds and my weight contributes to my unhappiness. I'm not terribly big 243ish 6'1 but I used to be in great shape before meds and they caused all my weight gain... Again sorry for the rant just needed to vent respond if you have any input thanks!

[Tucson]

I can be happy on meds but this does not happen to me too often. I usually feel depressed. I sometimes let my bipolar problems appear to be my excuse for my troubles and unhappiness, This is only partly true. Still they can be really overwhelming at times. But then I run across a person that has had it really bad compared to me. Then I feel guilty. I also think if they can make it through life, what is my oroblem? This impacts my self-esteem. I know of a person that went through allot of physical and emotional abuse that lasted for the first 28 years of her life. She made it against significant odds. She is much more functional than I am with great inner strength. I thought I had problems in my life. This is who I compare myself to. Self-esteem issues and guilt and unhappiness can exist separate from being bipolar and its related medications. But IMO bipolar and the problems that it gives us just makes it more difficult not to feel this way. I personally think its more of being bipolar than the meds. The meds are suppise to help. But they do not always work that way.

[Terabithia]

I think thoughts and feelings that you should be happy because you have it better than others is based on messages that society, our parents, etc. throw at us. Suffering is suffering. The people you care for in your new job have it really bad. That doesn't negate your suffering. You're giving yourself a double whammy, feeling unhappy, and then feeling bad for being unhappy. Don't do that to yourself.

I sometimes feel happy on Meds. When I'm on the right Meds I feel somewhat normal. I know that if I don't take Meds I take the chance of being manic or psychotic, and I'd rather live with the weight than go there. Your wise to not risk that. I think depression is one of the hardest things to treat. Most of my med changes have been because of depression.
But it's worth persistence, because there are so many out there. Yes, you can feel happiness and be on Meds. And it's ok to be happy too.

I hope venting helped. Just thought I'd let you know someone was listening.

[Goals2017]

Thanks you too I appreciate the response!

[WildcatVet]

I was happy and normal on medications for a very long time...until I was hospitalized for a medical problem and they screwed up my psych med schedule. Now things are very bad and I'm desperately trying to get back to where I was...happy and functional.

[UpDownAround]

The only times I have felt really happy for longer than "so glad that happened" happiness lasts in the last few years has been when I was hypomanic. I am tweaking my meds but it seems like I am going from a low grade funk as my "center" to just feeling flat. It could be that I need an improvement in my personal life to make flat into happy, though.

[Guiness187055]

I think you can be happy when not on a combo that zombifies you.

[Goals2017]

Originally Posted by Guiness187055

I think you can be happy when not on a combo that zombifies you.

Guiness I just take 900 lithium and 100-150 seroquel. Trying to get rid of the seroquel tho but don't want insomnia again so I might just stay on it.