[Need A vacation]

I was diagnosed with bipolar years ago in my early twenties. Took meds for a while, but have been off them for over 10 years now. Was employed in a professional position, but resigned because I couldn't cope. Ended up getting my masters degree while I was out of work and landed a great job right after graduation. I haven't even had this job a year and now all of a sudden I'm experiencing the intense symptoms of bipolar that I haven't felt in years. My family is embarrassed by my diagnosis. They refuse to believe it. My husband just says "I wish I could help you." I feel so alone and hopeless. I have a teenager so I try to fake t, but it's getting hard. I'm scared to visit a doctor. I don't want anyone in my real life to know about this. I wish I could just quit my job and hide out at home. I think it would be easier if I had someone to talk to that really understood. So that's why I'm here.

[UpDownAround]

I hid from my diagnosis a very long time. When I finally came clean with my primary, she started me on lamictal and told me I need to see a psych for more complete med management. I did and I am pretty open about it now. My point is you can talk to your primary in confidence and possibly get some help. I would suggest following the recommendation for a psych to help (making the assumption that will be suggested), but I strongly urge you to consider speaking to a medical professional.

Welcome!

[Guiness187055]

I didn't take meds for almost 15 years. Stress really brought my symptoms out. I managed to wreck everything in my life 4 times. Now it's meds for life for me there is no other way.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Need A vacation

I was diagnosed with bipolar years ago in my early twenties. Took meds for a while, but have been off them for over 10 years now. Was employed in a professional position, but resigned because I couldn't cope. Ended up getting my masters degree while I was out of work and landed a great job right after graduation. I haven't even had this job a year and now all of a sudden I'm experiencing the intense symptoms of bipolar that I haven't felt in years. My family is embarrassed by my diagnosis. They refuse to believe it. My husband just says "I wish I could help you." I feel so alone and hopeless. I have a teenager so I try to fake t, but it's getting hard. I'm scared to visit a doctor. I don't want anyone in my real life to know about this. I wish I could just quit my job and hide out at home. I think it would be easier if I had someone to talk to that really understood. So that's why I'm here.

Hello and welcome to PC and the Bipolar forum.
I hope you find the information and the support you may be seeking.
Please make yourself at home here.

I understand your reticence to see a doctor; yet, I hope you'll reconsider and see one soon. You may find doing so very helpful?

I hope to see you around the forums here.


WC

Similar story here. I went manic on diet pills 20 years ago, and decided it was the pills, not me. The pills (fen/phen) were certainly a factor. My husband fully felt the same way, and so did a therapist friend. Two years ago, I went manic again, also kicked off by a prescription. And a third time recently-again a prescription. Anyway, now I've had to accept it and accept medication because I'm becoming hair-trigger with meds that really should not cause mania. I look back and realize that my life has been too hard and I don't cope well with stress. I've switched jobs maybe when I shouldn't have. I've even quit a job. You can go get help, and you can tell the family or not. M

Maybe you can tell the family you need help with depression and anxiety. That is the route my mom took. It has less stigma but was fairly accurate

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by key tones

Maybe you can tell the family you need help with depression and anxiety. That is the route my mom took. It has less stigma but was fairly accurate

My fake dx was moderate depression and ADHD. One problem with that is after a while, I started to believe it. The other is that both those conditions are often treated with meds that sometimes caused me to go hypomanic when I didn't have a mood stabilizer in the mix and the doc didn't know to avoid SSRIs or too high of a stimulant dose.

Oh, good points. My mom told the family the depression with anxiety while in reality the doc diagnosed w/bipolar.

Better to get help than to fully disclose, if the family is holding you back

[Teddy Bear]

Welcome to PC.

[Tucson]

Welcome to PsychCentral!

I saw you online earlier.

it would be great to talk to you if you want at some stage

[xRavenx]

Welcome to PC! I can relate to you a lot. This is a really friendly place.

[Need A vacation]

Thank you all for the kind replies. I am terrified that if I see a dr using my insurance that my employer will somehow find out and discriminate against me. Is that just paranoia or can it actually happen?

[Shazerac]

Welcome to psych central

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by Need A vacation

Thank you all for the kind replies. I am terrified that if I see a dr using my insurance that my employer will somehow find out and discriminate against me. Is that just paranoia or can it actually happen?

Your health information is private. An employer could not find out how you're using your insurance, even if they went looking for it. It would be a serious HIPPA violation. Assuming you are in the US.

[Guiness187055]

Your health info is private. The only ones that can info are the ones you allow.

[NatsukiKuga]

Plus, it's illegal for your employer to require you to disclose, as bipolar is covered under the ADA. You may if you wish to your HR department, but I wouldn't unless I were requesting special accommodation for my disability.

[Tucson]

This is all true if his employer is not self-insured.

[NatsukiKuga]

With respect, I do ask to disagree. I'm sure that even the self-insured must be bound by the ADA.

[liveforsummer]

Welcome to PC!

[CloserToTheMid]

Originally Posted by Need A vacation

Thank you all for the kind replies. I am terrified that if I see a dr using my insurance that my employer will somehow find out and discriminate against me. Is that just paranoia or can it actually happen?

A couple of thoughts. To your original post. Just because your family doesn't support you, it doesn't mean that others won't.

Now work. I'm out at work. I went to HR and disclosed and signed up for a few accommodations plus a medical leave should it come to that. They were so awesome about the whole thing. Depression/Mania both started to affect my work and my team was concerned. I told them what was actually going on. It was scary, but they were so very supportive.

There is stigma out there, so it takes a lot of courage to be open. And I only did it because it was necessary. And I'm glad I did it. No more cover ups.

All this having been said, some other members here have felt discriminated against after disclosing. ADA is supposed to protect Bipolar. You could sue your company if it came to it.

Perhaps some one more knowledgeable will speak up on the topic of discrimination?

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by NatsukiKuga

With respect, I do ask to disagree. I'm sure that even the self-insured must be bound by the ADA.

True, but they see what is paid out. They would not know the diagnosis but would know that the mental health benefit was being used. The person who sees this data is usually in HR and knows it has to be kept private though. I know this because my company is self insured and I know the person who sees the data. She does not disclose any details, only summaries/trends based on use by all employees.

[NatsukiKuga]

Originally Posted by UpDownAround

True, but they see what is paid out. They would not know the diagnosis but would know that the mental health benefit was being used. The person who sees this data is usually in HR and knows it has to be kept private though. I know this because my company is self insured and I know the person who sees the data. She does not disclose any details, only summaries/trends based on use by all employees.

Fair enough. Thanks for clarifying!

[Sunflower123]

Hello. Welcome to PC.

Welcome and sorry you are struggling. Don't quit your job or hide out in your house.....I don't think you are serious about that but if you are don't. I'm agoraphobic not by choice....never a light bulb moment where I thought "I think I will hide out in my house forever" it's pretty terrible and not a choice though it might appear that way. It's not a good choice if it is a choice and just makes everything worse in the long term.

Can you take a vacation? Maybe that's just what you need? Please see a doctor and your family is hurting more than helping with their judgements so try not to internalize them. How old is your teenager? Boy or girl?