[Marilyn2016]

Hey everyone. I'm not sure which category on the forum to put this post under. I wonder if it matters. I am bipolar, and probably always have been. I take two medications to keep me sane, and I've been stable for the past five years straight.

Now, I am also a user of substances. I don't drink alcohol, but I love mushrooms, x, blow, weed, and well I think that's about it. I've always experimented with these drugs, and I have my own testing kits to make sure I'm being as safe as possible.

I don't know why I love to use. I don't do much more than dance a bit, read,
watch films, or do the dishes. Nothing as crazy or manic as I would expect,
but maybe I can thank my daily meds for that. Anyway, I am trying to get somewhere with all of this. I know it might sound silly, but I'm trying to reach some sense of happiness, peace, balance, and enlightenment all rolled into one. I'm doing this by experimenting with substances, and I wonder if I'm going to get where I want to go....i guess some sort of level of wisdom from and about use. I really hope this isn't viewed as abuse, because I only see an option to discuss drugs under the addiction forum. Maybe that's where everyone ends up after a while, but I see use as more cyclical than just a one way ticket to addiction.

Someone mentioned once to me that I was chasing a dragon, some kind of high that I could never reach. I'm not so sure that's the case. I laughed and agreed at the time, but really I want to know if I can learn more about life, about perception, about existence and human connection....that's far more interesting than just feeling a strong buzz for a few hours.

I hope I can continue safely on my journey and maybe I'll connect with other people who use without abuse...I wonder what will become of this exploration. I've traveled too much growing up and as an adult. I've moved and moved and moved, and I've adapted and learned quite a bit from the experience. I suppose this is just another form of travel, only this time I find it much less stressful and demanding.

I just hope I end up earning some wisdom along the way....

Thanks for reading.

I can understand seeking enlightenment but in most cases I don't think people reach it through substances. I have self medicated in the past but didn't do it as a conscious decision, just a result of my sickness. I've watched some documentaries about certain substances in the amazon which cure people of physical and mental disorders with one use. Could be real or could be placebo effect, I don't know. It's some form of hallucinogenic. DMT? It's what's released from the brain when we die and is believed to be responsible for people's lives passing through their mind at the time of death. I encourage you to be safe. I do believe many people take drugs recreationally without problems. Seeking Nirvana or chasing a dragon sounds questionable though. I don't think drugs can really do this but I'm not too experienced with having good experiences with anything in general. I've known many people who have had what they claim are mind opening, transformational experiences. I cannot discredit their account of things. Just be careful is all I recommend. The world is hard enough with all our facilities present. Be well.

[UpDownAround]

Weed and boomers were my favorites. As odd as it sounds, I actually acquired a taste for those nasty mushrooms. Maybe it was because my taste buds were my testing kit. Both are mellow euphoric escapes whose biggest drawbacks seemed to be that they are illegal.
You might find this interesting:
Psychedelics expert: Shrooms will be approved for depression in 10 years - Business Insider
and
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/01/h...n.html?mcubz=1

Boomers may be an accepted treatment for mood disorders within a few years. However, they aren't yet and they potentially could interact with the meds you take now for mood. I found the info above rather interesting as my pdoc and t both tell me a lot of my drug use was self medicating and it turns out one of my favorites might actually be a legit med for my MI.

Weed is like coffee and eggs - every time you see another article it swings the other way - it's good, no wait it's bad, but it works well for...

Are you just getting high or are you treating you MI? Hard to say for sure. At one point many years ago, I decided I had too much to lose to casually break the law anymore.

Oh yea, blow and x are on my list of things I wouldn't take even if they were legal. They are about as mellow as a baseball bat and I am vehemently against legalizing drugs that make you intensely desire more of the drug. They have ruined a lot of lives.

[Marilyn2016]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I can understand seeking enlightenment but in most cases I don't think people reach it through substances. I have self medicated in the past but didn't do it as a conscious decision, just a result of my sickness. I've watched some documentaries about certain substances in the amazon which cure people of physical and mental disorders with one use. Could be real or could be placebo effect, I don't know. It's some form of hallucinogenic. DMT? It's what's released from the brain when we die and is believed to be responsible for people's lives passing through their mind at the time of death. I encourage you to be safe. I do believe many people take drugs recreationally without problems. Seeking Nirvana or chasing a dragon sounds questionable though. I don't think drugs can really do this but I'm not too experienced with having good experiences with anything in general. I've known many people who have had what they claim are mind opening, transformational experiences. I cannot discredit their account of things. Just be careful is all I recommend. The world is hard enough with all our facilities present. Be well.

In response to Amazonian remedies and shamanistic healing medicines, I do know that Ayahuasca/DMT would seriously mess with my psychiatric meds that I currently take. It's an alluring path, but unfortunately one I cannot take, because I still believe the meds I take daily are responsible for my stability. Like we've both said, safety is paramount.

Thank you for your reply.

[Sunflower123]

I'm glad you are experimenting as safely as you can. Good luck in finding your nirvana. Please be safe about dosages and interactions.

[UpDownAround]

An article on NBC today...
https://www.nbcnews.com/mach/science...are-ncna805466