[boogiesmash]

I feel I have made significant progress in iop, but I’m feeling a “weekly”downer? I think it’s from being disappointed, because got depressed my weight loss drug wasn’t approved yet, then I felt like a failure, then I started thinking of other things I failed in and so on.

[boogiesmash]

Part of me wants to cry and give up. And as New Years gets closer I feel more of a failure and want to die. I don’t want to be a lone.

[Victoria'smom]

You still have plenty of time.

[boogiesmash]

I feel like I’m smiling at everyone and hiding it, but one day it’s goign to overrun me. Hell it has. And New Years was it. I look like crap. Haven’t lost an ounce. I can’t stand being alone

[boogiesmash]

I’m sorry I’m in down mood now. I hate being alone on my birthday and can’t stand it. It’s been like that almost every year. It hurts more and more each year. And f I don’t want to live with that pain. And what have I done about this weight just constant constant procrastination.

[boogiesmash]

I don’t think psyc medicine is going to treat this thinking. I am afraid I will do something. I’m not trying to make an ultimatum just feel so desperate. I hate life.

[boogiesmash]

Is this part of the equation?

https://forums.psychcentral.com/chil...g-me-down.html

[boogiesmash]

I’m so pathetic. These coping skills don’t work for sh it. Other people have real issues and real problems and I’m here blaming weight, not having a girlfriend being lonely and praying for this miracle weight loss drug to help. and I don’t do anyth8ng about it. I used to be a beast athlete now I’m nothing. I’m sorry, I know others have real issues and mine are minute. My feelings are too real. Too overwhelming. I’m just a mistake.

[99fairies]

It makes me sad to see you feel so badly about yourself. You are important and special. I wish you could see that for yourself. Big hugs.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I haven’t read your link, however I’m pretty concerned. Have you maybe thought of IP? I’m sorry if that was already addressed.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

I haven’t read your link, however I’m pretty concerned. Have you maybe thought of IP? I’m sorry if that was already addressed.

No. It’ll pass and I’ll come up with same wussy post in week or two. I just don’t do. At least I think I don’t.

I’ve been in iop for past 7 weeks.

[boogiesmash]

That pain is too much. Unbearable.

[boogiesmash]

Why do no girls want to be with me New Years or my birthday. Am I really this f up? Am I scary or unattractive��. Am I too fat. Do I come off as crappy. Or do they see me as I a, a bum, loser failure. Is this my issue.

[~Christina]

I think you are standing in your own way.

Everything you bash yourself about is from your own mind.... not what others say or think.

So what if your overweight, damn near everyone needs to lose weight, I damn sure do and I struggle with anorexia.

IOP is helping, your just trying to overhaul a giant mountain, instead of just going step by step.

Yes it sucks to be alone on New Years and your Birthday, so don’t moan and go out , just go out there are New Years parties everywhere. Put your self out there, you are the only one holding your self back.

I’m not being mean I just think you need some bluntness.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I think you are standing in your own way.

Everything you bash yourself about is from your own mind.... not what others say or think.

So what if your overweight, damn near everyone needs to lose weight, I damn sure do and I struggle with anorexia.

IOP is helping, your just trying to overhaul a giant mountain, instead of just going step by step.

Yes it sucks to be alone on New Years and your Birthday, so don’t moan and go out , just go out there are New Years parties everywhere. Put your self out there, you are the only one holding your self back.

I’m not being mean I just think you need some bluntness.

True. True. New Years and bdays suck for a lot of us here but the point that you’re already worrying sounds a bit like anxiety? Low self esteem? Do something to positively work on those issues. You have time! I started lifting weights again a few months ago and I look and feel so much better. No cardio. All I have is four dumbbells (no gym. No machines) so if I can achieve it then anyone can. And I’m one lazy mofo. Before you knock yourself down, get up first! I also have an ED so I know how a simple thing like a number on a scale can ruin your day. PM me if you ever need to rant but be prepared to receive positive reinforcement only

Hey there-I agree you are being too hard on yourself. I’m glad you’re in treatment.

You don’t need someone to be happy. I’m by myself, and I’m OK with it.

I once was over the edge about being alone. I didn’t see how I could live, it was sooo bad right after my husband died. So so bad. I was talking on the bus to an older man who told me how happy he is to not have a girlfriend, and that it was nice to just do what he wanted. He felt that misery comes from trying to keep someone else happy.

Somehow hearing that helped me. I thought about that and him a lot. He really seemed happy! It was possible to be happy alone.

A lady at work told me you get used to being alone. I couldn’t picture it, but she had been divorced a long time, and she seemed OK. Really OK—happy even.

Well, I ended up with a boyfriend from my grief support group. You know, I was miserable after a while. We didn’t like to do the same things.

I haven’t seeked anyone else out. Im not against having someone again, but I’m not looking.

It is possible to be OK without someone. Getting there is probably going to make you more attractive to others.

Is it maybe catastrophic, black and white thinking? That thought of “never again” is painful and probably not true.

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

Why do no girls want to be with me New Years or my birthday. Am I really this f up? Am I scary or unattractive��. Am I too fat. Do I come off as crappy. Or do they see me as I a, a bum, loser failure. Is this my issue.

This is what I mean - no girls? None in the whole world? All those names you called yourself?

All very harsh and not true.

[Sunflower123]

I agree you're being too hard on yourself. Please be kind and compassionate with yourself. If it looks like you're going to be alone for New Years or your birthday, make alternate plans. Go out and do something special for you. Sending big hugs.

[boogiesmash]

Thx. 37 years and I have no idea what my purpose is and can’t attach myself to s relationship.

[boogiesmash]

I’m picturing what my funeral would be like. Would anyone attend, would people celebrate me and pay more attention to me then then in life. Do people wish to celebrate with me.

[boogiesmash]

I’m sorry for my rant. I’m so lonely.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

I’m picturing what my funeral would be like. Would anyone attend, would people celebrate me and pay more attention to me then then in life. Do people wish to celebrate with me.

Your talking nonsense and I think you know that.

Go out make some friends , go to meetups, take a walk in a park, go take pictures and play around with filters on them.

Not everything is “ Bipolar and or depression “

Sometime you just need to kick your self in the *** and “fake it til you make it”

Continue with IOP , it is helping you, whether you can see it or not .

Today I had no desire to get out of bed but I clean my home every single day. OCD? Yeah , but it doesn’t matter. I get up despite my mood and Pain.

Set whatever you need it that makes you get up every day, it can be anything.

Go to a local pound and play with the animals, you will meet people there and I bet you make friends, pound animals just desperately need some love, same as you.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Your talking nonsense and I think you know that.

Go out make some friends , go to meetups, take a walk in a park, go take pictures and play around with filters on them.

Not everything is “ Bipolar and or depression “

Sometime you just need to kick your self in the *** and “fake it til you make it”

Continue with IOP , it is helping you, whether you can see it or not .

Today I had no desire to get out of bed but I clean my home every single day. OCD? Yeah , but it doesn’t matter. I get up despite my mood and Pain.

Set whatever you need it that makes you get up every day, it can be anything.

Go to a local pound and play with the animals, you will meet people there and I bet you make friends, pound animals just desperately need some love, same as you.

Thanks Chris. I did some cleaning. There’s some trash out and getting my car washed. 😀

[boogiesmash]

I do need to make more friends