[TheLifeFantastic]

This has probably been asked, but I wanted to ask it in regards to me.

I've been recently trying to date ever since everything calmed down after a mixed state. Another thing to note is I have not dated for three years prior to this. I've been able to go on a few dates, and a good amount of times I find myself very bored with the people I'm going out with. I'm very good at making it look like I'm having a good time after years of practice, but I feel like I'm just not connecting to people. It's painful to go through this multiple times because I do want to be able to find a person I can be with. I'm just starting to get burned out. I also don't feel rejected by the people I go on the date with because I'm usually the one who says I don't want to continue any further. Last bit of information is that all these dates come from online dating websites.

I don't know if my feelings have something to do with being Bipolar or something else. What I really want to ask is how have others gone about dating with being Bipolar?

[~Christina]

I was diagnosed BP after I was with my Husband ... Now mind you I had BIpolar since about 6 just never diagnosed.

I saw just keep going out and meeting people combin online and through friends.

Dont let Bipolar tell you cant have a realtionship and it be a great one.

Where in Tennessee? I live Middle southern , In Florida for a year but I miss my home up there.

I have a problem with perfectionism—do you have this? I’ve been told I’m a black and white thinker too. I don’t think these are bipolar symptoms. I also suspect I have personality disorder, but I am not certain which one since I have elements of a few, but mostly BPD. I suspect that more than bipolar for my problems liking people.

I do that thing where I put someone on a pedestal, then the next thing you know, I can’t stand them

[TheLifeFantastic]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I was diagnosed BP after I was with my Husband ... Now mind you I had BIpolar since about 6 just never diagnosed.

I saw just keep going out and meeting people combin online and through friends.

Dont let Bipolar tell you cant have a realtionship and it be a great one.

Where in Tennessee? I live Middle southern , In Florida for a year but I miss my home up there.

Hmm, I've been doing that for about 4 to 5 months now. I make sure to be around people. I don't really go to bars because I don't like drinking that much. Nashville has grown up a whole lot in the past few years. So meeting people usually is at bars, coffee shops, or church. I'm also building a friend network (It's a long story how I lost the others).

I'm originally from McMinnville, TN.

[TheLifeFantastic]

Originally Posted by key tones

I have a problem with perfectionism—do you have this? I’ve been told I’m a black and white thinker too. I don’t think these are bipolar symptoms. I also suspect I have personality disorder, but I am not certain which one since I have elements of a few, but mostly BPD. I suspect that more than bipolar for my problems liking people.

I do that thing where I put someone on a pedestal, then the next thing you know, I can’t stand them

Interesting, I didn't know I was bipolar until more recently. I generally go through phases where I can be extroverted, and then I pull back. I've lost a good amount of relationships because of that.

I do have a perfectionist problem. It's probably why I became a programmer because how much I like perfection in my life. That could be a problem, because in the past if I can't control. Then I feel like my world is in threatened, but I think that is something that would happen if I was in a relationship.

[laracroft3]

Sometimes it can be hard...
I've been single for 6 months after coming out of a long-term relationship.
He broke up with me for being "crazy".
I dread the fact that I would have to start all over again and get to know someone from the beginning because I'm such an introvert.
But for now I'm just working on myself, trying to decontaminate myself from the last relationship.
When I feel comfortable I'll start going out more and maybe meet someone.

[Sunflower123]

Middle Southern Tennessee here too. I wanted to wish you good luck with your dating pursuits. Sending big hugs.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m kind of in the same boat. My husband died a little over two years ago. At the beginning of the summer I had a casual fling with a man and That made me realize I was ready to start dating again. But now I have this huge secret that I have to carry around. I have no idea when to reveal. Do you do it in the beginning, so they can run off before you get attached? Do you wait, to show them you’re pretty much normal (I’ve been stable for awhile)? I don’t know. I can’t even wear short sleeves in front of a date because of the self injury scars.

Right now I’m talking to someone. I’ve been on three dates with him. He has revealed that he has seasonal affective disorder, bad enough that he takes an antidepressant throughout the winter. He’s suffering from depression right now. So maaaaaaaybe he will be understanding when I reveal bipolar. But maybe not. I’m not going to bother until I know where this is going, but if we end up agreeing to exclusivity, I’m gonna have to tell him.

Anyway good luck with the dating scene. It’s tough no matter what!

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’m kind of in the same boat. My husband died a little over two years ago. At the beginning of the summer I had a casual fling with a man and That made me realize I was ready to start dating again. But now I have this huge secret that I have to carry around. I have no idea when to reveal. Do you do it in the beginning, so they can run off before you get attached? Do you wait, to show them you’re pretty much normal (I’ve been stable for awhile)? I don’t know. I can’t even wear short sleeves in front of a date because of the self injury scars.

Right now I’m talking to someone. I’ve been on three dates with him. He has revealed that he has seasonal affective disorder, bad enough that he takes an antidepressant throughout the winter. He’s suffering from depression right now. So maaaaaaaybe he will be understanding when I reveal bipolar. But maybe not. I’m not going to bother until I know where this is going, but if we end up agreeing to exclusivity, I’m gonna have to tell him.

Anyway good luck with the dating scene. It’s tough no matter what!

For me, "when to tell" depends on the seriousness of the relationship.

I haven't gone on a date since my diagnosis 2 yrs ago, but if it were the other way around (i.e., my partner is the one with bipolar, not me), I would probably want to know by the end of the 2nd or 3rd date if the relationship is pretty serious. But if the relationship is casual or semi-serious, then it's not a huge deal if we wait a few more dates.

My ex-boyfriend waited until the 6th date to tell me that

Possible trigger:

his entire family was in a car accident when he was six years old and that he watched 3 of his 4 siblings die in front of his eyes, along with his mother. He, his remaining brother, and his dad were the only ones who survived. And his dad was in the hospital for 3 months following the accident. He had to stay with an abusive aunt while his dad recovered.

So he basically hinted at some PTSD because he talked about how cars freaked him out.

I knew it was a hard thing to talk about, so I wasn't upset that he withheld it. THat's why I think there's a little leeway with sharing bipolar diagnoses. I think people can be really understanding about those things... and you know you've found a gem if the person is willing and able to understand you.

Everyone is different, though. Just sharing my preferences because everyone is different.

[TheLifeFantastic]

Originally Posted by laracroft3

Sometimes it can be hard...
I've been single for 6 months after coming out of a long-term relationship.
He broke up with me for being "crazy".
I dread the fact that I would have to start all over again and get to know someone from the beginning because I'm such an introvert.
But for now I'm just working on myself, trying to decontaminate myself from the last relationship.
When I feel comfortable I'll start going out more and maybe meet someone.

ex-fiance and I where both Bipolar. She was diagnosed while we where in the relationship. I was diagnosed three years later. Let's just say it was an interesting relationship.

I just got to the point of getting comfortable with dating again after three years, and I know that it takes a while to work on yourself. Also I hate that someone called you "crazy". Many people are ignorant to the fact of how it feels. I was like that at one point in time.

[TheLifeFantastic]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’m kind of in the same boat. My husband died a little over two years ago. At the beginning of the summer I had a casual fling with a man and That made me realize I was ready to start dating again. But now I have this huge secret that I have to carry around. I have no idea when to reveal. Do you do it in the beginning, so they can run off before you get attached? Do you wait, to show them you’re pretty much normal (I’ve been stable for awhile)? I don’t know. I can’t even wear short sleeves in front of a date because of the self injury scars.

Right now I’m talking to someone. I’ve been on three dates with him. He has revealed that he has seasonal affective disorder, bad enough that he takes an antidepressant throughout the winter. He’s suffering from depression right now. So maaaaaaaybe he will be understanding when I reveal bipolar. But maybe not. I’m not going to bother until I know where this is going, but if we end up agreeing to exclusivity, I’m gonna have to tell him.

Anyway good luck with the dating scene. It’s tough no matter what!

I have told one of my dates after about 3 times of seeing each other that I was bipolar (The only person I was successful for with for about 2 two months. The reason we broke it off was another matter not related to my bipolar). She didn't seemed to bothered about it after I explained how it affect me. My opinion for myself is that I don't want to go to deep in a relationship, and hurt myself by telling them to late. I rather face lesser pain first then go on for awhile, and get hit by worse pain from getting to know the other person.

[Shazerac]

You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. your biploar probably doesn't have much to do with not being interested in these guys. My belief is you haven't found the one who blows your skirt yet. Give it time.