All or nothing ?

I have successfully used the ketogenic diet (low-carb, moderate-fat and high-protein) diet to lose loads of weight in the past. When I am in this way of eating, then I also find myself hitting the gym and training hard 5 to 6 days a week and push myself quite a bit. During this phase (which is the longest has lasted over 8 months), I am generally in an elevated mood.

Whenever I break the routine and start eating junk or normal carby food, then I give up on exercise and don't work-out either. And it's the complete opposite, I just give up on exercise and don't bother at all and become sedentary, binge eat, binge drink, binge watch tv and lie in bed all the time I am at home and am depressed.

It's like my mind telling me, you have anyway eaten junk, what is the point in exercising now? might as well lie in bed and chill.

Whereas, when I have eaten clean (in a ketogenic diet), then my mind telling me, go to the gym and train as this will now maximise results, which is what I do.

This totally puzzles me and the near and dear ones around me. I am like this "All or nothing" person, cannot ever do anything in moderation or half-baked. I go all the way through, whatever it may be I get involved in.

Likewise, if I am drinking alcohol, I find it hard to stop with 2 or 3 drinks when I having a slight-buzz and having a good time. I drink hard and late into the night/early morning. And then during the ketogenic diet phase, I can go up to 8 months without drinking any alcohol at all. It's like I don't crave or need it, I could live without it forever.

Now one may ask, why then not stick to the keto way of eating forever? I have tried and had to break due to various external pressures one of which, the more recent one was due to being unable to sit down as a family for a meal. Wife and son aren't keto and son is a fussy eater and it was getting complicated that I was eating different and my wife and him were eating different and it was confusing him.

So, I decided to go back to 'normal' way of eating and consuming everything in moderation and BANG, 6 months later, here I am 50 lbs heavier and depressed to have everything that I worked so hard in achieving physically.

Are any of you here like this? and struggle to strike a balance in the normal way of eating? like All or nothing kind of person ?

Yes I am all or nothing! especially when It comes to dieting and keeping my house clean. I'll do great in spurts and then crash and can barely get out of bed. So I understand where you're coming from.

My whole existence is all or nothing, but have realized moderation is the only way I can survive. I still do things to the "All" level as I need to take risks to get ahead in my life, but I try to slow things down and be balanced in other aspects of my life.

My eating (or lack there of) pattern correlates to my mood. Right now I'm a bit up so I lack food but I drink juice a lot. My son's older so he knows I have odd eating patterns. Look for other signs of (hypo)mania while dieting.

"All or nothing" pretty much sums up my life too. Everything I've ever done has rarely been in moderation. It's both the best of times and the worst of times because when I'm "doing it", I get a lot done. When I'm not, I feel horrible for not having the strength or energy to "do it". Around and around the cycle goes!

All or nothing thinking is the bane of my existence. I do this with just about everything. You could use CBT to overcome this cognitive distortion (I’m talking to myself here as well).

You should all bow, for you are now in the presence of your king...

I am backing off of my extreme dieting because I fear I have been too aggressive and lost muscle. I can't do much more than light weights because of arthritis. I lost 32 pounds in 65 days. This is the 3rd or 4th time I have lost weight this aggressively.

When I started running in 2013, I went from not a runner at all in January to running a half marathon in 2:08 and change in October to knee surgery the next spring.

I have had to give up alcohol.

I used to whitewater kayak, so I took up flatwater kayaking after my knee surgery; tore up my shoulders and had surgery the following spring.

Whenever I take up a new interest, I eat, breathe and sleep it until the next thing comes along.

Hot or cold, never lukewarm.

Thanks everyone for writing and letting me know I am not alone. I understand your struggle and how frustrating it feels, because I want to be in that All phase all the time when it comes to good habits like exercising, cleaning the house, staying on top of chores or bank work etc.

@Jennifer1967

I will read up on CBT ( Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - just googled it)
I am hearing about this for the first time.

@UpDownAround

Wow! completing a half-marathon in 2:08 can be a high in itself, but understand the frustration where there is an injury that comes with it because you are pushing yourself too soon.

When I first took up running on a treadmill, I was also experiencing what people call as a runner's high and overdid it that I had hairline fractures on both my shins ( called shin-splints) which led to 6 weeks absolute rest for healing.

And in that 6 weeks I couldn't run or cycle, only swimming was allowed and I was never a swimmer or comfortable in a swimming pool, so it was a downward spiral from stopping working out to back to bad habits and gaining weight and going back to depression.

Later on, I learned to pace myself and not over-do the running and then got to doing running outdoors and the best I have done so far is a 5K at 25.27 minutes. During that run, I had to once stop to tie my shoelaces, else I am convinced I would have been sub 25 minutes

But from there I have now completely quit running and I see others who have built up to 10k and half-marathons.

It's also extremely frustrating because it feels like I can't be consistent at one thing, any good behavior I exhibit appears only like a phase to me because eventually something will happen and I will go back into depression and nothingness phase.

Hey I’m also doing keto!! What you’re describing as far as going back and fourth on the diet can be called a “carb cycle”. Google it. You do low card for a few days, high carb for a few. It’s especially good if you work out. I think you may be losing control because you may be restricting too much. When I first started this diet, I was cranky and i have binged a few times but only on low carb foods. Never gained weight from that either. Perhaps the lack of carbs is a shock and your body just wants to eat everything in sight after awhile. It’s not uncommon. Let yourself have a relax/cheat day. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you may be getting depressed though during your binge days. It could be a bit of clinical depression or self doubt. People don’t understand that diets also effect us mentally. Good luck and don’t be so tough on yourself. ((Hugs))

Thanks ComfortablyNumb5. Nice to note you are Keto too! and thanks for writing.

I am aware of carb cycle, but no I don't think that is me. I break out of keto thinking, now I am ideal weight, I can now successfully manage this by eating and drinking everything but in moderation. But this never works for me, or has never worked for me in the past.

The moment, I am on the normal diet, then slowly the moderation is out of the window, and I depressed and not working out etc.

I am currently waiting for a referral to meet a pdoc, and hope to have a clear diagnosis soon, but I have reason to believe I have a mild form of bipolar.

I always paced myself. I was always about a 10 minute miler; I would actually do it just a few seconds under 10. I didn't slow down when I ran 10+ miles and I didn't speed up if I ran just 1. The frustrating thing is that's not fast. It was more the pushing endurance that got me. I have degenerative arthritis in pretty much all joints and I hastened the demise of some connective tissue. The doc suggested I either give up running or put him on retainer.

I recently removed the walking/running/cycling trackers I had on my phone so that I wouldn't get back into the numbers game (how far did I walk? how fast? how did my hill climb time on the bike compare to previous ones? etc). If I go for a walk for exercise, I need it to just be leisurely exercise and nothing more or I will hurt myself again like last winter (started Nordic walking and ended up using a cane for a couple of months).

It's amazing at what you have achieved in-spite of degenerative arthritis. My mum has arthritis, so I know how bad it can be.

It's a good idea to keep out of the number game sometimes, and just enjoy the run, the walk, the trek, the hill etc.

Wish you the best!

I have always been an all or nothing kinda person even as a kid. Especially that way when it comes to drugs and alcohol.